Receiving Ex keeping schtumm

Comms69

13Kent said:

Comms69 said:

I have zero contact with them - AHEM your choice!

Yes speak to CMS.

That is a completely uncalled for comment. 

 My friend has no contact with his two sons, not through lack of trying on his part, and it is heartbreaking for him to have no idea where his sons are or what they are doing and he just hopes that when they are 18 they try and contact him. (Oh and he does pay regular maintenance).

Unless you know the details of the family circumstances it's not fair to form an opinion.

Your opinion is no more or less valid than mine. 

Sibz

Comms69 said:

I have zero contact with them - AHEM your choice!

Yes speak to CMS.

You make a LOT of assumptions on this board. Are you bitter about something or do you just enjoy being rude and judgemental?

Socajam

Comms69 said:

Shezzer2 said:

Comms69
I'd prefer it if you said nothing. You obviously know very little and even less about my situation!
ZaSa, thanks for your constructive reply. Unfortunately, the kids are completely off the 'grid' and it's pretty obvious to me why. 
CMS tell me NOTHING and have ZERO interest in following up my enquiries.
But thanks anyway.

Indeed, but i do know how kids need both parents in their lives, and the court system is there to facilitate that.

Otherwise my reply was accurate, that is literally what you ask them to do. 

Your idiotic comments have no bearings on what this father went through and the hoops others have to go through to see their child(ren)
Do you realize that some mothers can be right ****** and turn the children against their father.
Maybe you need to do a little research and see how fathers have to jump through hoops to get access to their children.
At least the OP is no a dead beat Dad, he pays for this children. I have seen and read of the spite of mothers and the damage done to children because they want to spite one parent - the father
Right now I have a friend whose relationship with her daughter is fractured because she told so many lies about the father.  Now that the young lady have reached the age, she was able to search through her mother's belonging and able to find out all the things her mother said were lies.
The young lady and her father are now very close, but she is so traumatized by what she missed from her father whilst growing up, she have to go into counseling to help with the excruciating pain she suffers daily.
The court is a mess and it takes a long time before anything gets done.

Comms69

Sibz said:

Comms69 said:

I have zero contact with them - AHEM your choice!

Yes speak to CMS.

You make a LOT of assumptions on this board. Are you bitter about something or do you just enjoy being rude and judgemental?

Yes         

Comms69

Socajam said:

Comms69 said:

Shezzer2 said:

Comms69
I'd prefer it if you said nothing. You obviously know very little and even less about my situation!
ZaSa, thanks for your constructive reply. Unfortunately, the kids are completely off the 'grid' and it's pretty obvious to me why. 
CMS tell me NOTHING and have ZERO interest in following up my enquiries.
But thanks anyway.

Indeed, but i do know how kids need both parents in their lives, and the court system is there to facilitate that.

Otherwise my reply was accurate, that is literally what you ask them to do. 

Your idiotic comments have no bearings on what this father went through and the hoops others have to go through to see their child(ren) 
Do you realize that some mothers can be right ****** and turn the children against their father. - Yes i'm fully aware of that. 
Maybe you need to do a little research and see how fathers have to jump through hoops to get access to their children. - no need, it's really straight forward. Mediation, followed by a C100 and court 
At least the OP is no a dead beat Dad, he pays for this children. I have seen and read of the spite of mothers and the damage done to children because they want to spite one parent - the father - indeed, and every parent in that position must do EVERYTHING they can to see their kids 
Right now I have a friend whose relationship with her daughter is fractured because she told so many lies about the father.  Now that the young lady have reached the age, she was able to search through her mother's belonging and able to find out all the things her mother said were lies. - nice friend you have 
The young lady and her father are now very close, but she is so traumatized by what she missed from her father whilst growing up, she have to go into counseling to help with the excruciating pain she suffers daily.
The court is a mess and it takes a long time before anything gets done.

It really doesnt take a long time.  It's 3-6 months start to finish

Dollymix12

Comms69 that’s an extremely simplistic view, especially where there is conflict between parents

My cousin spent over a year and thousands of pounds in family court trying to see his children when their mother claimed they didn’t want to see him. Because they were 10 and 13 it was decided that the only conclusion they could come to was that it was up to the children to decide when they wanted to spend time with him. He spent quite awhile after that not being able to see them, turns out they did want to see him but they were worried what their mother would say and she was emotionally blackmailing them with how she felt about it. 

It’s not always for the lack of a fathers effort to see children

swingaloo2

Comms69 said:

Socajam said:

Comms69 said:

Shezzer2 said:

Comms69
I'd prefer it if you said nothing. You obviously know very little and even less about my situation!
ZaSa, thanks for your constructive reply. Unfortunately, the kids are completely off the 'grid' and it's pretty obvious to me why. 
CMS tell me NOTHING and have ZERO interest in following up my enquiries.
But thanks anyway.

Indeed, but i do know how kids need both parents in their lives, and the court system is there to facilitate that.

Otherwise my reply was accurate, that is literally what you ask them to do. 

Your idiotic comments have no bearings on what this father went through and the hoops others have to go through to see their child(ren) 
Do you realize that some mothers can be right ****** and turn the children against their father. - Yes i'm fully aware of that. 
Maybe you need to do a little research and see how fathers have to jump through hoops to get access to their children. - no need, it's really straight forward. Mediation, followed by a C100 and court 
At least the OP is no a dead beat Dad, he pays for this children. I have seen and read of the spite of mothers and the damage done to children because they want to spite one parent - the father - indeed, and every parent in that position must do EVERYTHING they can to see their kids 
Right now I have a friend whose relationship with her daughter is fractured because she told so many lies about the father.  Now that the young lady have reached the age, she was able to search through her mother's belonging and able to find out all the things her mother said were lies. - nice friend you have 
The young lady and her father are now very close, but she is so traumatized by what she missed from her father whilst growing up, she have to go into counseling to help with the excruciating pain she suffers daily.
The court is a mess and it takes a long time before anything gets done.

It really doesnt take a long time.  It's 3-6 months start to finish

I assume you have not had to go through it then?  Took my hubby over 2 years of backwards and forwards going through the courts and cafcass. Cost us thousands in solicitors and travelling to her local court over 200 miles away for several hearings during which she lied, produced false statements written by her friends etc. Even told the judge that the son was terrified of me and had started bed wetting because of me. The son told the cafcass guy that he really liked me but 'will you not let my mum know that'. He also said that he really missed his dad and wanted to see him but that it upset mum when he did so and even stated that when he had seen dad he had to say he had not had a good time because mum would be cross if he said he had enjoyed the day. 
Hubby got access (which she had stopped simply because he had moved on and met someone else) and in court she said she would not make her child see his dad if he did not want to do so. Obviously she was making him feel guilt for wanting to see dad and the judge told her that it was up to her to put a positive slant on seeing dad and encourage him.
Even after all that things did not improve as she made excuse after excuse week after week. The number of times we travelled 200 miles only to be told on arrival 'Sorry he is not able to see you today he is poorly'.
You can do EVERYTHING you can to see your kids but if the impact of seeing your kids creates a situation where a child is punished by the resident parent afterwards what good is a win. 
Yes you can go back to court time and time again but the end result is the same and it's the children that suffer from being in the middle.  3-6 months, start to finish, only in your dreams!

poppy12345

Dollymix12 said:

Comms69 that’s an extremely simplistic view, especially where there is conflict between parents

My cousin spent over a year and thousands of pounds in family court trying to see his children when their mother claimed they didn’t want to see him. Because they were 10 and 13 it was decided that the only conclusion they could come to was that it was up to the children to decide when they wanted to spend time with him. He spent quite awhile after that not being able to see them, turns out they did want to see him but they were worried what their mother would say and she was emotionally blackmailing them with how she felt about it. 

It’s not always for the lack of a fathers effort to see children

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