£22248

storybookgirl

Not that much to update at the moment.  Things are just ticking along.  We're doing really well with the food budget, there's definitely less food in the house and we're probably not eating as healthily but we'll find a balance over time.  Husband keeps going to the corner shop to buy things that she forgets to pick up at work like milk so it's costing us twice as much!!  I think he's becoming a bit more aware now though so hopefully it will also improve with time.

My husband checked the bank balance this morning (I'm still working up to this) and we're not in the overdraft yet!!!  That makes me unbelievably happy as we always always are by this point in the month and we were quite substantially in to it at the end of last month!  We weren't starting to live by the new budget until next month, we were just aiming to not spend unnecessarily this month to try and claim a bit back on the overdraft but I'm actually hopeful that we'll barely be in it, if at all at the end of the month so it will be like a fresh start!  In the past when we find out that we're not as bad off as we thought, always leads to us spending but I'm determined not to do that this month.  I'd much rather be out of the overdraft, it will put us in such a good place to get started!

Husband's credit card balance increased by £40 - when I asked him about it, he just told me straight out without any lying or having to pick little bits of information out of him which is a relief!  It was for a recurring quarterly payment to a games site (which he's not even using) so he's cancelled that now and I'm confident that we'll still be able to pay the card off in full at the end of the month and then he'll close his account.

I think we can do this.

storybookgirl

We've had a bit of a failure week...  this always happens when we look at the bank balance and it's not as bad as we thought.  Next month when we're living by the budget we just won't be able to do that because the money won't be accounted for.  We bought things like a doormat (we don't have one), a pair of joggers each for wearing around the house (I don't have any that fit because of baby belly), a takeaway that didn't come out of the food budget etc...  things that can be (unjustly) reasoned away for. It was a moment of weakness in an other wise really positive month.

Payday on Friday and I'm ready to transfer everything where it needs to go.  It will be my last month before going on maternity pay too and will be enough to clear the overdraft which I didn't account for in my debt figure and we'll still be able to pay the smallest credit card off in full (220) using extra money that I've earned during this month.

My goals for next month:
-Keep to budget (pay off overdraft and £220 credit card, any left to go to emergency fund)
-Keep a spending diary
-Check bank balance every day 
-Meal plan without telling my husband that's what I'm doing!  He asks me everyday what we want for dinner so I'll just give him a dinner every day as he prefers this method but we're not eating healthily enough for my liking.
-Have a baby!!!
-Still need to get contents insurance
-Husband needs to look at breakdown cover - I have a feeling we have 2 policies in place
-eBay what I can, keep up with surveys etc

storybookgirl

He’s done it again and I can’t believe it. I checked the credit reports again today and his credit card balance has gone up 424 between June and July but it’s only just showing. He completely lied to me last week when he went through the statement, he lied to me again this morning when I asked what it was and only admitted it after me pushing. I just don’t know how I’m meant to deal with this.

 He had sold some of his things to buy himself a new (second hand) pc, instead of using the money he had saved he used the credit card and spent the cash on online games so it’s not like I can even sell anything from it.

I just feel hurt and betrayed and don’t want him here.

catlady1990

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to you. I know you are working towards getting debt free and it doesn't look like you are being supported. 
Is there anyway you can close the credit card so your husband can't spend on it?

Splishsplash_2

It’s very hard if you’re not both on the same page and that’s a significant purchase without talking it through first 😞.

have you talked through why he did it behind you back? 💐 

ryanm8655

Have just read through your diary and you are doing tremendously well.

Your husband's behaviour is frustrating. It's one thing wasting £8 in M&S, we all have those moments, but quite another to be spending on online games etc. That's not on when he knows your financial situation and knows how hard you are working, plus you have a baby on the way. Is there anyway you can take control of all of his accounts and credit cards?

Smashingitnow

That man!!!! I'm so sorry to hear this.
As others have said this is unfair and he has undermined all your hard work.
He is acting like a kid and he is about to be a Dad (perhaps not a coincidence?).
Thinking of the baby, and the fact that whilst you are on maternity he will be tha main wage earner and this may make it more difficult to get the commitment to debt management you want and need, can you / would you want to think about separating your finances? Did you transfer his debt to your name? If so then I guess that won't be an option. Are there family members who can make him understand why this is so important? More than anything I wonder how you can relieve yourself of the parent role in this relationship (like around him not wanting to meal planning). 

storybookgirl

I've had my tears and I'm back.  I'm still going to do this. 

Smashingitnow said:

Did you transfer his debt to your name? If so then I guess that won't be an option. Are there family members who can make him understand why this is so important? More than anything I wonder how you can relieve yourself of the parent role in this relationship (like around him not wanting to meal planning). 

Yes - most of his debt is in my name unfortunately.  First a consolidation loan, then better APR/0% credit cards when he did it again.    Now he's done it again and has about £3500 at an average of 30% APR.  I'm snowballing everything together this time, he's affected my credit so I don't think I could even take it on.  I would love to not be his parent but haven't worked out how to do that in the last 10 years!  I'm not hopeful!  He gets his money management skills from his parents, when I speak to my sister in law his brother is the same so no one to talk to him really. I'll get there!

ryanm8655 said:

Is there anyway you can take control of all of his accounts and credit cards?

I thought I did have most control but he had credit card details saved on paypal he deleted those in front of me this time.  He's currently at a stage where he doesn't have access to any money unless I give it to him.  I don't particularly like or want having this much control and would prefer for him to be able to resist spending but he's just not at that place at the moment if the temptation is there.  We've agreed we'll review after 3 months when we re-do the budget.

It's my payday today (last full pay before maternity pay!), husband isn't sure when his is (you couldn't make this stuff up) and it's month 1 of living to the budget.  I've transferred money for things like car maintenance, Christmas presents etc into a different account.  Food shopping money will be drawn out today.  The £220 Capital One card will be paid off in full using my husbands wages before he transfers the rest of the money in to my account.  We were only in the overdraft by a small(er than usual) amount which should be paid off this month with the remainder of my full wages.

He no longer has physical access to his credit cards, the details have been deleted from PayPal and he tells me he doesn't have them stored anywhere else.  I'm not sure that I trust him on this yet but there's not really anything I can do to check.  

Pet supplies are bought for the month, nursery fees paid, no swim fees this month as we are owed from pre covid and there's a possibility of me volunteering in the pool instead of paying for the kids lessons in future months which would save some money too.

I've bought a second hand bread maker (Panasonic for £15!) so that I can make bread - my boy has an allergy to soya and the shops around us only sell soya free bread for around £3 a loaf!!! I'm looking forward to trying that out this weekend.  I have a lakeland yoghurt maker that I've had for a very long time but just couldn't get the recipe right, I might start trying this out again although I'm not sure it's a real money saver.  My husband works shifts and we sometimes find it difficult to plan meals around this but I think food/shopping is a current focus for me.  We stuck within the food budget last month, there were a few pounds leftover but nothing substantial.  I'll keep the budget the same for the next 3 months anyway as I feel it will be a bit harder with a newborn around.  Plus we've got family staying in September so that will cost a bit too.

One of my 0% credit cards runs out in October and I'm a bit concerned about being offered another deal.  I'll start looking towards the end of September.  After the electric and gas bill fiasco I now have arrangement to pay markers on my credit file so I'm not sure how heavily these will affect me.  My Halifax loan is about 2 years old and they're sending me emails and notifications about 'topping up' the loan but I'm staying strong and not going down that route!

I made £54 from surveys last month!  Would be lovely to have the same again this month!
Ebay is now my husbands job so that he's actually putting some work in to paying back this debt.  He was tasked with listing 5 items a day so naturally there's currently nothing listed but he says he'll do it all in one go over the next couple of days instead.

storybookgirl

And I've just finally sorted contents insurance!  Cheap and cheerful, nothing special and I'd only claim if the whole house was on fire/flooded type thing.

storybookgirl

What a whirlwind of a year it has been!  I had my baby, (also kept the husband), paid off some debt, got some new debt, cried, laughed and I'm back and ready to get cracking on getting down this mountain of debt.

I have slightly reduced my hours at work, only by 2 hours but I get a whole day a week off because of it which means less paying for childcare.  My husband is now working full time and we have a joint bank account with all of the debt nearly in my name aside from one card in his name which is soon to be paid off.

He now doesn't have access to any money or account that I can't see what he is doing with.

June goals
-make it through to the end of the month
-double check the budget for the next 3 months
-transfer wages and direct debits over to the new joint account

Current debt total = £24359
Estimated debt free date = October 2024