£22248

storybookgirl

Today I found out that the energy debt that I thought my husband had set up an arrangement to pay on wasn't paid.  He also didn't set up a direct debit for the normal energy bill.  3 years we've been having the same argument.  I'm tired and so fed up of being the one that deals with everything.  I got the money together to pay it in full, all he had to do was pay it and he didn't, he just made it worse.  How do people deal with that?  It's like a constant battle.  It also means that the energy debt grant that we've applied for won't cover the full balance if we are granted it.

Today I changed from one sim only contract to another to save £1 a month which seems ridiculous seeing as my husband has just added £600 to the debt from being completely irresponsible.  After finding the default yesterday and now this I just can't do today.

I spent £7.50 on some postpartum essentials.  I ordered online and will collect in store because it's 50p cheaper that way.

storybookgirl

This is a budget rather than an SOA.  This is not how we have been living but how we plan to live whilst I am maternity leave.  It is yet to be agreed with my husband but we will got through it together and agree any changes next week as he is working all weekend.

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 2

Number of children in household......... 2

Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 1500 - reduced due to maternity leave

Partners monthly income after tax....... 1200 - this include some extra hours, will possibly be higher

Benefits................................ 151.66 - 2 x child benefit x 52 weeks/12 months

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 2851.66[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ 0

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 495

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 108 - not currently coming out of account, unsure why, ? Covid, need to chase

Electricity............................. 50.29 - includes a debt payment for the next 18 months, unlikely to be able to switch until debt is down

Gas..................................... 50.29 - Same as above

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 38.07 - not metered, not sure if this would be a benefit, heavy washing machine use

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 42.92 - 1 x sim only, 1 handset contract for ~18 months

TV Licence.............................. 0

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 23.98 - Netflix and Spotify 

Internet Services....................... 24 - 18 months from now

Groceries etc. ......................... 300 - this months challenge is to reduce this, was previously much higher to

Clothing................................ 30 - 2 children under 2, mostly buy second hand

Petrol/diesel........................... 100

Road tax................................ 26.25 - high but correct, 2006 4x4

Car Insurance........................... 42.91

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 50

Car parking............................. 10

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 148.2

Other child related expenses............ 0

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 17.59

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 147.23 - includes insurance, cat food and litter, 3 cats (don't ask!)

Buildings insurance..................... 0

Contents insurance...................... 6 - we don't actually have this but is a job for the weekend

Life assurance ......................... 0

Other insurance......................... 0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 100 - we only buy for children in the family (ours, nieces and nephews only) for birthday and Christmas but there are a lot of them

Haircuts................................ 15

Entertainment........................... 50 - family days out, usually a country park or outdoor activity with an ice cream

Holiday................................. 50 - we haven't been on holiday in the 10+ years we've been together but it would be nice!

Emergency fund.......................... 50

Swimming................................ 50 - x 2 children

Professional fees....................... 20 - mandatory

J Fitness............................... 6.99 - maybe 6 months left in the contract, then to be cancelled

J Gym................................... 15[b] - Husband is going to speak to GP about exercise on prescription as he is overweight, otherwise we will continue to pay this

Total monthly expenses.................. 2067.72[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 0

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 1500

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 1500[/b]

[b]

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts[/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Barclaycard....................2045......60........0

PayPal.........................266.......16.86.....19.9

Halifax Loan...................15342.....377.8.....9.9

Shop Direct....................273.......19.13.....39.9

Barclaycard....................2563......50........23.39

Capital One....................180.......30........34.3

Virgin.........................940.......25.08.....0

Virgin.........................2482......50........0[b]

Total unsecured debts..........24091.....628.87....-  [/b]

[b]

Monthly Budget Summary[/b]

Total monthly income.................... 2,851.66

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,067.72

Available for debt repayments........... 783.94

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 628.87[b]

Amount left after debt repayments....... 155.07[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]

Total assets (things you own)........... 1,500

Total HP & Secured debt................. -0

Total Unsecured debt.................... -24,091[b]

Net Assets.............................. -22,591[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.stoozing.com. 

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

Again, this is a budget, not an SOA.  This is our plan.  I will continue trying to increase my income where I can and use it to overpay on the debts.  We're lucky that we have a surplus each month based on the budget so we will see how we stick at it for a couple of months and then re-assess but at the moment I don't want to allocate that money to anything.  If it's there at the end of the month it will go in the emergency fund to begin with.

My husband and my incomes are estimates.  I am waiting to hear from HR about what my pay will be whilst on maternity leave, I have based this figure on my last mat leave period plus a pay rise plus not paying for a travel card from my salary.  My husband is usually part time but is trying to increase his hours.  He thinks 1200 will be the minimum but we are hoping for 1500.

Jophi2b

Hi Storybookgirl, your budget looks good. I was shocked by how much your 3 cats are costing every month, but i have never had any pets, so I have no idea how much they cost or if this is an area you can cut back on.

I agree that groceries are sometimes a good place to focus to see if you can cut back though, I am also focussing here.

I admire you taking on the challenge of clearing these debts when you are preparing for the arrival of your little one, I am not sure I would have had the head space or the energy to do that when I was expecting!

storybookgirl

The cats do cost us so much!  Two are a bit older so their insurance costs more, they are indoor cats and because there's 3 of them they use a lot of litter which is around £34/month.  Food is the cheapest bit!

I just think that enough is enough.  I'm dedicated to it now, my husband is as on board as he'll ever be so I'm just going to get it done.  If we stick to the budget it will be done in 3 years, not including my wages going up again after mat leave.  I think realistically it will take longer as I know there will be a month here and there where we don't overpay but sometimes I think people need a break and that's okay.  

I'm going to try and take it 3 months at a time so it seems less daunting.  36 months is a long time and makes my head spin, 3 months of overpaying is doable.

I think I'm going to come out of the 1% challenge and just work on the snowball.  Any money that's earned as extra can either be used to make things a bit happier for us or to go in a pot for something.

ceremony

I'm just getting caught up on your diary!

If you hate those towels you could maybe dye them a darker color? It works surprisingly well.... although after dying them you'll have to wash them a few times. I've done it with old martial arts uniforms that have faded and look grubby. They get a new lease of life when dyed.

Can you "take over" setting up the direct debits if your husband keeps refusing to do it? It's not worth arguing over constantly

enthusiasticsaver

Your husband sounds disorganised with money so I would take it over.  Not worth the nagging or the rows and I say that as someone who also has a disorganised husband when it comes to finances so I took control many years ago or we would have had missed payments, direct debits not set up etc etc.

Your cats are expensive but I get they are part of the family so just make sure you get comparison quotes for insurance and maybe look at cheaper alternatives for litter and cat food. Realistically a holiday is not going to happen with your maternity leave, the amount of debt you have and lack of savings.  I would therefore allocate that spare £50 to the debt or building up emergency savings. Make sure you really do save that car maintenance £50 a month as you have a low value car so repairs are likely to be expensive. Your husband needs to be working as many hours as he can to make up the difference. Also given that at least one of your children must be under 1 year old is swimming lessons really necessary? Just take them to the pool yourself to get them familiar with water and leave the lessons until they are older.  I don't think my granddaughter started lessons until she was 4 years old and I don't think she would have got anything out of them any earlier than that. My kids did not learn until they started school. 

There are a few quick wins you could have if you tackle Shop direct,  Capital one and paypal first as not only are they charging the most interest but they are relatively small debts. If you can find the £719 to clear those three debts  quickly  through cutting back, doing overtime or selling something and make sure you close the accounts as you repay them then you are just left with Barclaycard, Virgin and the Halifax Loan which seems much more manageable.  You also get the £66  monthly payments to go towards Barclaycard which should be your next target after those three small debts. 

storybookgirl

ceremony said:

I'm just getting caught up on your diary!

If you hate those towels you could maybe dye them a darker color? It works surprisingly well.... although after dying them you'll have to wash them a few times. I've done it with old martial arts uniforms that have faded and look grubby. They get a new lease of life when dyed.

Can you "take over" setting up the direct debits if your husband keeps refusing to do it? It's not worth arguing over constantly

That's a really good idea about dying the towels, I've never dyed anything before but I know that my sister has so I'll have a chat with her and see what she suggests!  My husband and I actually met at a martial arts group many many years ago!

I have taken over now.  I've set up the direct debit for the gas and electricity including a payment plan for the debt - the only reason I hadn't before is because he set it up in his name and they wouldn't speak to me without his consent but it's done now. I've also taken over the internet contract and got a better deal and it is now in my name so I can deal with it easier.  I was hoping that by him doing some things it would teach him a little responsibility but it definitely backfired!  He now has a set 20 minutes a day where he needs to deal with any jobs and I'm hoping that by having a set time to sit and focus anything that does pop up his way will be dealt with.

storybookgirl

enthusiasticsaver said:

Your husband sounds disorganised with money so I would take it over.  Not worth the nagging or the rows and I say that as someone who also has a disorganised husband when it comes to finances so I took control many years ago or we would have had missed payments, direct debits not set up etc etc.

Your cats are expensive but I get they are part of the family so just make sure you get comparison quotes for insurance and maybe look at cheaper alternatives for litter and cat food. Realistically a holiday is not going to happen with your maternity leave, the amount of debt you have and lack of savings.  I would therefore allocate that spare £50 to the debt or building up emergency savings. Make sure you really do save that car maintenance £50 a month as you have a low value car so repairs are likely to be expensive. Your husband needs to be working as many hours as he can to make up the difference. Also given that at least one of your children must be under 1 year old is swimming lessons really necessary? Just take them to the pool yourself to get them familiar with water and leave the lessons until they are older.  I don't think my granddaughter started lessons until she was 4 years old and I don't think she would have got anything out of them any earlier than that. My kids did not learn until they started school. 

There are a few quick wins you could have if you tackle Shop direct,  Capital one and paypal first as not only are they charging the most interest but they are relatively small debts. If you can find the £719 to clear those three debts  quickly  through cutting back, doing overtime or selling something and make sure you close the accounts as you repay them then you are just left with Barclaycard, Virgin and the Halifax Loan which seems much more manageable.  You also get the £66  monthly payments to go towards Barclaycard which should be your next target after those three small debts. 

Such good advice thank you!  Yes, he is extremely disorganised in many aspects of his life and his brother is the same.  I have taken over control of the remainder of the finances now, he has a couple of debts (the smaller high interest ones) in his name that he will either need to give me the log in details to or actually pay them with me standing over his shoulder!!  

That's a good point about a holiday so we'll pop that into the emergency fund too.  Our family live at the other end of the country to us so we may take a week down there at some point but aside from petrol it's very low cost as we stay with parents and spend the time visiting family with maybe the odd day trip.

Yes - we've mostly been lucky with the car.  It hasn't cost much at all at the last 2 MOT's but it does need a new battery now (at the moment my husband is having to jump start the car EVERY TIME HE DRIVES!!) he is doing that because he keep 'forgetting' to buy a battery, everyday for 3 months.....  maybe disorganised was an understatement; but he's mine and I love him!

We've agreed on the plan that you have suggested.  We're going to work on paying those 3 smaller debts down as soon as possible.  Then we're going to get a £1000 emergency fund together and then work on the bigger debts.  Thank-you so much for your advice, it's very much appreciated

BabyStepper

I think it's fairly typical in relationships for one partner to be better with numbers and money than the other. At the start, me and OH were both stressed about the debt. We had a few rows about it, mostly about how little cash we had and how to pay it off - we had no clue where to start. It is so easy to get angry 'cos your partner has spent a fiver on something unneccesary (and conveniently forgetting you did the same thing yourself a few days previously!) I ended up picking up the reins and taking responsibility for the money by default, as a way to relieve the pressure between us - I tried to pull him in a few times but it just didn't happen (he forgets passwords, gets stressed and annoyed, forgets to do things). I seemed to have a better head for managing it all. For about the first year though I didn't let him forget that I had taken on this responsibility, and sometimes it was hard and stressful, and sometimes I needed a hug or to have a good cry and be comforted and supported. 

But over time a miracle happened. It became easier to talk about without arguing. The budget numbers became very familiar the more we stuck to it, the very sight of the budget no longer sent us both into a panic. We could sit down once we'd been paid and decide where the extra cash was going that month, calmly. Sometimes we got fed up with how slow it was but we could agree on our strategy together. And when you start making progress with the debt going down, it becomes easier still. There's no question debt creates stress in a relationship and I didn't fully understand that until the debt was gone. 

I found it doesn't really make much difference who does the practical stuff of setting up DDs, checking that accounts are in order, etc. As long as you agree on what's to happen and you can both learn to stick to it and be gentle with each other when you make mistakes (because you will). Yes, I took my OH's cc login numbers and started checking and overpaying them myself (with his agreement, obviously). You're married, all the resources belong to you both, and now that we have no debt, the savings accounts are in joint names, the present and car funds are joint, and so is our bill paying account. We have our own individual accounts for spends etc. This all feels like the right way for us. I feel lucky that at least one of us has been able to develop those skills or we'd still be in debt. 

The days of not paying attention to our finances are long gone and we have both learned over time that if there's no money to pay for it, we can't have it right now but we can maybe have it in a month or two of saving up. And we help each other remember things, so we both get what we need and want. We're in it together and we've often asked the question 'is this worth it?' before buying something. We have a much better appreciation of the value of things. 

Just think, once the debt is gone you will be the one in charge of the savings. And that's much more exciting (but still needs attention).    

Great diary, I've subscribed. Good luck! 

storybookgirl

BabyStepper said:

I think it's fairly typical in relationships for one partner to be better with numbers and money than the other. At the start, me and OH were both stressed about the debt. We had a few rows about it, mostly about how little cash we had and how to pay it off - we had no clue where to start. It is so easy to get angry 'cos your partner has spent a fiver on something unneccesary (and conveniently forgetting you did the same thing yourself a few days previously!) I ended up picking up the reins and taking responsibility for the money by default, as a way to relieve the pressure between us - I tried to pull him in a few times but it just didn't happen (he forgets passwords, gets stressed and annoyed, forgets to do things). I seemed to have a better head for managing it all. For about the first year though I didn't let him forget that I had taken on this responsibility, and sometimes it was hard and stressful, and sometimes I needed a hug or to have a good cry and be comforted and supported. 

But over time a miracle happened. It became easier to talk about without arguing. The budget numbers became very familiar the more we stuck to it, the very sight of the budget no longer sent us both into a panic. We could sit down once we'd been paid and decide where the extra cash was going that month, calmly. Sometimes we got fed up with how slow it was but we could agree on our strategy together. And when you start making progress with the debt going down, it becomes easier still. There's no question debt creates stress in a relationship and I didn't fully understand that until the debt was gone. 

I found it doesn't really make much difference who does the practical stuff of setting up DDs, checking that accounts are in order, etc. As long as you agree on what's to happen and you can both learn to stick to it and be gentle with each other when you make mistakes (because you will). Yes, I took my OH's cc login numbers and started checking and overpaying them myself (with his agreement, obviously). You're married, all the resources belong to you both, and now that we have no debt, the savings accounts are in joint names, the present and car funds are joint, and so is our bill paying account. We have our own individual accounts for spends etc. This all feels like the right way for us. I feel lucky that at least one of us has been able to develop those skills or we'd still be in debt. 

The days of not paying attention to our finances are long gone and we have both learned over time that if there's no money to pay for it, we can't have it right now but we can maybe have it in a month or two of saving up. And we help each other remember things, so we both get what we need and want. We're in it together and we've often asked the question 'is this worth it?' before buying something. We have a much better appreciation of the value of things. 

Just think, once the debt is gone you will be the one in charge of the savings. And that's much more exciting (but still needs attention).    

Great diary, I've subscribed. Good luck! 

It's really great to hear that other people have been in similar situations.  Sometimes I just feel like I'm the one that does it all - I work full time, look after finances, do the cleaning and household chores etc I guess the hormones just have me feeling sorry for myself at the moment!  We have a plan now though so fingers crossed we're in this together (otherwise I'll just get on with it anyway!)