complicated

christine_cook

My 88 year old Uncle., who I lived with as a child, made friends with a young man about 15 years ago. This young man 's mother was a Jehova Witness. When my Uncle Denis fell ill they took him out of the hospital to their home. ( we were abroad  briefly at the time), Within 3 weeks I was no longer his beneficiary in his will, none of our family was.He turned affairs for his care over to the mother who recently put him in a home because she could  no longer care for him. His money seems to have gone, she says she doesnt have bank statements ( to show how his money went) and she tried to move him to a smaller home. In one of denis's lucid moments he said he didnt want to move and that he was a bit frightened of her and she was maniupualtive..so I took it up with the home and they have stopped her moving him. This isnt going to end well - when it comes to his funeral ( i know what his wishes were for 30 years) who gets to claim him and bury him please

Savvy_Sue

Whoever registers the death usually arranges the funeral, and whoever instructs the funeral director is usually responsible for paying for it, although you can usually get the deceased's bank to settle the account direct. 

If your uncle has given this woman a Lasting Power of Attorney, you can contact the Office of the Public Guardian to express your concerns. This organisation may be worth talking to (formerly known as Action on Elder Abuse). 

elsien

How do you know you were cut out of the will within 3 weeks?
"Hi Uncle Dennis, sorry I've not seen you while I've been on holiday and by the way am I still in your will?  "
What sort of time scales are you talking about with your uncle living with the family and then having to go into care? There are some gaps in this story about processes and who has decided what and when. 
If you have concerns now about his wellbeing or exploitation then raise it with the local authority safeguarding team now. It's no use to him at all to wait until after he's passed.

Flugelhorn

so is he dead yet? doesn't sound like it from the first post on the thread - if so, who knows what is in the will.

christine_cook

FLUGELHORN   I know what is in his will because my Uncle rang me after living a month with this lady that he had changed his will in her favour as she took him in when I wouldnt ( I was makeing arrangements for his care at the time .She told him I didnt care about him !)     He is in hospital now, not having eaten or drunk in  a week and is not expected to live..      ELSIEN, that was unkind...I came back from holiday to find he was in hospital - visited 3 times in 2 weeks and then the Ward sister rang to say some woman had got him upset with the NHS and was removing him right now and taking him home before any Care package was in place and could stop her! I tried to persuade Denis on the phone but he was frightened and hysterical - and no way could I travel 45 miles in time  to physically stop him from discharging himself. She took him to her home for the expected 3 months he had left, but he lasted a year then she put him into a home. I was rarely allowed to visit him in her home. Yes there are gaps in the process because its been a long drawn out fight to even see him occasionally...and because she is a Jehova Witness theres one hell of a lot of manipulation going on and I didnt realise you would want to hear it all !    I Have contacted safeguarding  - 5 weeks ago with my concerns, and finally today, if Denis is still alive he will get a visit from a Social worker, I am not waiting till he has passed.! I am trying my hardest  but the system is bigger than a 71 year old lady and thats why I asked for help.
 SAVVY-SUE Thankyou.  Denis said she had Power of Attorney and asked me how he could get it back just before he fell and ended up in hospital... But as of yesterday, the Public Guardian said they could find no trace of he as  POA.
When I rang the hospital the first time after his fall I was told I wasnt next of kin -  so couldnt be given any information, whatsoever . Frances, an n ex nurse, Knew the system and put herself down as next of kin ! Can you see what I am up against? She has a funeral planned...but its not the Humanist one he wanted, every way I turn this woman has got there first and I am at my wits end

Savvy_Sue

See if you can get any help from Action on Elder Abuse. 

Brynsam

christine_cook said:

When I rang the hospital the first time after his fall I was told I wasnt next of kin -  so couldnt be given any information, whatsoever . Frances, an n ex nurse, Knew the system and put herself down as next of kin ! Can you see what I am up against? She has a funeral planned...but its not the Humanist one he wanted, every way I turn this woman has got there first and I am at my wits end

Ring again in the hope you'll get someone different, stress your blood relationship and if necessary point out to them that next of kin isn't a legally defined term in this country (it really isn't).