My son's massive student overdraft debt

Voyager2002

My advice (based on experience, but possibly out of date):

Start with Lloyds, since that is the only one currently charging interest. Ask him to call their telephone banking; pass security and then say that he wants you to speak with them on his behalf. Perhaps use speaker-phone, and obviously he will be there throughout the call. And obviously agree with him your negotiating position: the call to the bank is not a good time for surprises.

What you need to tell the bank is that he is no longer a student; has no income and no assets. You are asking them to freeze the interest, and probably should offer to make token monthly payments (offer one pound per month). The bank will obviously ask for evidence of his financial situation, so he should begin the process of claiming Universal Credit: once he has the letter confirming his benefit they are likely to accept this

MinuteNoodles

Alfachats said:

Thanks for the parenting advice, has anyone actual got any advice or experience of how to deal with the banks in this situation?

You can't, they're not your accounts. Your son has to deal with them.

MovingForwards

HeidyD said:

I'm very curious how he did this and why you didn't take care of this

Why is it down the the parent to 'take care of this' when the son is over 18, an adult and free to run their financial and life as they want.

nick74

MovingForwards said:

HeidyD said:

I'm very curious how he did this and why you didn't take care of this

Why is it down the the parent to 'take care of this' when the son is over 18, an adult and free to run their financial and life as they want.

If you look at HeidyD's other posts they're almost certainly a spammer just trying to get their post count up.

DCFC79

OP as well your son sorting this out he also needs to get help for the drug use.

gwynlas

Are we to presume that he is now living with you? 
I would be worrying less about the debt and more about the drug problem. You need to involve Mental Health Services and he will require rehabitition/counselling in order to look at the whys and wherefores of his getting into drug use and  to get him off them because continuation might lead to greater problems eg.drug dealer debts.
He does need to contact the banks and let them know what is going on but for the time being he could be offerring a token sum monthly which can be increased when it can be afforded. If he gives them permission to talk to you please ensure that nominal sums are in the region of £1 per month. They miight try and pressure you to offer or take the debt on but you are purely acting as his advocate based on his circumstances.
These are unsecured debts and the Banks are not going to crash, don't worry.
Is there any likelihood though he might go back into higher eduucation?
Does he work at all? I know  it is difficult at the moment but he should get a job to give his life structure and once he is working he can increase payments on his debts.
You should be supporting him physically and emotionally but not financially if he is to learn from this experience

Alfachats

Thanks for your comments guys, he is not going back to uni but is looking for a job, he is also looking at going in the Navy or RAF which would be awesome for him but that may not be possible because of his drug use. Don't worry I'm not going to pay his debts and he is well aware of that but I will help him where I can.
We are concentrating on his drug abuse and mental health but part of that is to at least get a plan in place for his depts hence why I'm asking for advice here.

DiamondLil

Alfachats - with regard to him getting to be drug free, have a look at what local services are available; also try your GP practice as they will know what, if any, help services there may be in your area and who/where to apply to.

PaulW922

Given the size of his debt and that he, presumably, has no sizeable assets such as property, a debt relief order may be an option. It is a way to settle an amount of unsecured debt where the debtor has no assets to sell and no realistic means of paying. Your can get advice on DROs free - try Citizens Advice or Stepchange debt charity. Do Not pay for advice! Finally, do remember that you are not liable for his debt. Just keep an eye on the post for any court claims etc that may come through the door. You can get advice on a DRO right now and if appropriate get the process underway quickly - he doe snot want a debt judgement in place and if he lives at your address now, you do not want him to have one either
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/debt-solutions/debt-relief-orders/

yksi

You are attempting to control the situation, but what you haven't yet realised is that drug addiction is a multi-faceted affliction that has a lot of aspects that cannot be controlled. Including a financial affliction, and you cannot fix that part.

His credit history is already a mess - you can't undo this by trying to repay his debts - you will be paying out money for nothing. Please do not spend money for nothing. And don't think that it will assist your son's recovery to be paying these either. That isn't how it works. It's not even relevant whether he says thank you or whether he repays you or whether he stays clean. The simple fact is that it won't do any good, financial history-wise, so there isn't any point in you contributing financially.

If things haven't yet reached CCJ stage then your son has some options, which include payment plans, bankruptcy or trying to keep on top of the existing repayments. Others have given you good advice on steps he should take and how you can support him with talking to the banks. While we can argue which ones are morally better than the other, none of them erase the financial footprint that has already been trod. It is best for you, the parent, to accept that he's screwed up his history for several years.

You aren't the first parent to be horrified at what your kid has done, you are in good company. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to do less yourself and to expect the kid to do more. Good luck.