Returning to work & staying away safely

Zac1972

Hi, I am in the shielding category and my husband returns to work from furlough this Wednesday.  Next week he has already been booked to work away on a 4 day job requiring 3 nights in a hotel with his boss, they will have separate rooms and as his boss is working down there longer they will be using separate vans to travel there so I'm pleased with that bit of social distancing.  But I was worried about my husband eating in pubs & restaurants and e asked if he could have takeaway in his room instead but his bosd is saying he's booked tables at restaurants for them to eat meals together.  I can't see that this is social distancing and I'm also very wary of restaurants yet and its something we've decided not to do yet at home to avoid any unnecessary risk, so can my husband request meal allowance instead or does he have to eat with his boss like told? My husband is afraid of offending his boss by saying but I'm worried about unnecessary risk, even though he doesn't admit it, my husband is at risk as went into respiratory failure with a previous pandemic virus and it nearly killed him, a month in a coma and had to be resuscitated numerous times so I don't think he can be complacent and think he's risk free as I don't think he is. My anxiety is as bad as it was at the start of all this again worrying about this so any advice is appreciated.  

Jeremy535897

Restaurants will have to observe social distancing, but it would be silly to pretend that there would not be some degree of extra risk. Perhaps your husband did not explain the specific issues around his previous experience? No reasonable boss would insist on a few meals together if it risked putting your husband in a coma.

Zac1972

I do suspect my husband hasn't been clear enough but just wondered what his actual rights were with meals whilst away.  I don't trust restaurants to follow SD personally, for instance our nearest pub and restaurant has just announced on their FB page they are reopening this Saturday with an extended licence to 1am and will have capacity for 320 people in their pub and gardens combined and will not be enforcing time limits and are asking people to queue sensibly at their bars, so not doing table service.  I don't think they'll be the only pub not being responsible.  So I just feel there's a need for individuals to be wary themselves if they need to.

Jeremy535897

I can't think his employer can force him to sit with him in a restaurant to eat a meal! The worst that can happen is he is out of pocket for paying for his own food, he's bored in a hotel room on his own, and his boss might be a bit disappointed. If his boss would take any further action, it's time to find a new job anyway.

EssJayD

Urgh this would be my worst nightmare anyway regardless of a pandemic!

Your Husband just needs to be more assertive "thanks Boss thats a lovely idea but as my wife is shielding and I was in a coma due to a virus its just not a risk I want to take, but thanks again maybe next time!"

Employers cannot legally force someone to eat in a restaurant on a trip.  I wouldn't even bother asking for any subsistence to be honest then he doesnt 'owe' his boss anything.  

unholyangel

How about this.....voice concerns over the distancing and instead suggest they do a video call, discuss where to order from and then talk while eating. It doesn't even need to be fast food - a lot of restaurants have started offering a take home option. It's the more constructive way to approach these scenarios - rather than offering up just criticism, offer up a solution. 

Of course some people are quite stubborn and just like things their own way, but it's a reasonable request imo. I'd consider it if in the employers shoes & appreciate they'd tried to find a middle ground than just outright saying no.

Fire_Fox

Replying too late for this trip but ....

A surprising number of people who have worked throughout the pandemic, including frontline and essential workers, live with someone who is 'shielding'. You cannot eliminate every risk, you have to trust your husband to make his own decisions at work. Alternatively the two of you agree that your husband is not going to work away. This level of anxiety is highly destructive, it can even suppress the immune system if unchecked. 

One bad pub is not representative of all pubs, nor is one bad pub suggestive of all restaurants. I am a member of an online 'local interest' group. Various members (not me) went out to different pubs and bars in the city centre on Saturday 4 July. The report that summed it up was "good to be out but strange, like being in a library at night"!! 

From what I saw on television and around my city centre flat, the drunken idiots who were not 'socially distancing' were out in the streets not in the pubs, bars or restaurants at all. The city centre has been quiet again all week, and I keep my windows open at night. Probably the same wherever your husband is working.

I would say that eating at a restaurant with a colleague when working away is not simply an unnecessary risk. Your husband cannot prepare and eat a healthy meal like at home. Stuffing down a takeaway, sat on a hotel bed not at a table, worrying about his beloved, is unhealthy.

HTH.