I know what I’d say to me

needingsomeadvice

But I guess I need to vent somewhere. 

I don’t even know where to start
ive been married 10 months and my husband hates me. 

He has just pushed me off the bed, poked my arm, shouted in my face and hit me with pillows.
i cry on a daily basis and I’ve just called him a bully and asked for an apology. He won’t. Just tells me and my son to F off our his house. 

The house is in his name and we were looking for somewhere new but I was paying most of the deposit because he wanted to move closer to his work. 

I don’t have a good enough credit rating to get a mortgage on my own till next year. 

I know what I would say to someone else in my shoes but I guess I’m so lonely I need to speak to someone. 

He says it’s all my fault that I provoke him xos if I ask a question and he mutters an answer I ask him for a conversation .

i can’t believe I’m in this position. 

I was on my own for 12 years after an abusive first marriage, I left and stayed single. When I met him he treated me amazing, and idolised me then got a head injury on honeymoon and has been depressed and nasty since. 

I’ve Lost my dad and my brother before I met him and I do cry about them a lot tonight he cast ThT up saying “ooh so cos I took you in I need to take on your problems too?”

is this my fault? He says I provoke him. Thts my ex used to say too. Surely they must be right 

Carrot007

needingsomeadvice said:

is this my fault? He says I provoke him. Thts my ex used to say too. Surely they must be right 

Why? Becasuse they said so, seems a poorly argued path.

So. First one. May have just been a wrong un, some poepl are. Some people also expect people to change after marriage, which is ridiuculous on their part.

Second one, hey, who knows head injury's can change people completely. Hey any big health issue can.

I would asy move on. And find someone who does not want to get married. It's a silly socialogical construct and serves no purpose other than to make it harder to move on when needed.

Hoe you find a way to get on with life. All the best.

needingsomeadvice

I don’t think the head injury helps but he was a bit pushy before the marriage now I think about it. He just told me he doesn’t love me. What am I even doing here 

Carrot007

needingsomeadvice said:

I don’t think the head injury helps but he was a bit pushy before the marriage now I think about it. He just told me he doesn’t love me. What am I even doing here 

Only you know. It's nice to be with people I guess. Some people just want dominace though. Maybe he is one of them.

No one if perfect. But if sad down and asked something and they cannot come up with a good answer after 24 hours (some people are there own worst enemy and it takes time) then maybe it is wrong.

Meeting people is hard, meeting the right one even more so. Maintaining a good relationship even harder. Then t here are all our own "demons" on top of that making things much harder. Being mean can be a defence of frustration. But it's no excuse and it is is all the time it is not on.

boxer234

You know you need to leave but it is hard sorry you are being treated like this.  Regardless of his head you deserve better.  Leave and stay with family or rent.  If your son grows up seeing this he will think it’s normal.  

onwards&upwards

Talk to Women's Aid as soon as possible.  You can leave, there is help available:

https://www.womensaid.org.uk

LittlePinkPiggy

Things will not change.  Your situation will only get worse.  His bullying behaviour will only escalate.  Ultimately you will do what you want to do.  Remember that what you are not changing you are choosing.  I wish you all the best.

dancing_star

Call Women's Aid. This behaviour will escalate.

Quite apart from anything else, you don't want your son growing up thinking this is how men treat women.

pollypenny

Seek professional advice. Get out!  He sounds dangerous. At the very least he will grind you do. 

olgadapolga

I really hope that you can find a way out of this "relationship". Your husband is wrong, you know that what he's doing, and how he's behaving is wrong. You were strong enough to get out of your previous abusive relationship, you have the strength to get yourself - and your son - out of this one.

The head injury is not an excuse. His claims that you provoke him are natural form for an abuser, it's how they work and control.

I used to work with those in abusive relationships and one of the worst cases I had to be involved with ended up with the partner attempting to kill the woman with a knife, in front of her young son. Up until that point she kept tolerating everything that he dished out to her. It was the incident with the knife that made her realise that she had to do something. The saddest part about that case was that the young son started imitating the partner and he became physically violent towards his mother as well. Fortunately, once the partner was out of the picture, the son's behaviour changed again and he became the loving little boy that he had been previously.

Your son will already be affected by your husband's behaviour. Children are very perceptive, he will know that things are not right. You know what you need to get yourself and your son out of that environment. Ring Women's Aid, today.

gwynlas

You have been there before and got the Tshirt. Get you act together and get out, The property can be sold and you should be able to get your money back in financial settlement.