still on the mortgage with ex partner 7 years on!! help!!

chris86maloney

kingfisherblue said:

chris86maloney said:

Hi I am hoping for some advice although I feel my situation is very unique.

I have been split with my ex partner now for 7 years (never married), we share a son who is now 11 years old. At the time of splitting we went through mediation and eventually ended up in court to decide the division of the shared home. The court decided in the best interests of my son who was 4 years old at the time that my ex will stay in the property and certain conditions will be put in place that can "force the sale" - I use that very loosely i.e. remarriage, cohabiting for more than 6 months. Basically I will not be able to attempt to get off this mortgage until my son is out of full time education or 18 years old. She has since remarried and now split and has never once used her best endeavours to release me from the mortgage. Property is currently worth approx £300k and mortgage is £110k.
As you can imagine this is holding me back from owning a property of my own due to the difficulty of having a second home with two residential mortgages and also the increased stamp duty payable.

Can anyone who has come across something like this please offer some advice as to what options I have - in either getting my name off the mortgage and the equity from the house or even somehow utilising the equity to my advantage in a second charge mortgage to use as a deposit on a property for myself? Many thanks!!

As she has remarried, a trigger to force the sale has been met. Have you mentioned this to her? At the moment, she is sitting pretty, and I doubt if she will do anything to rock the boat. It's up to you to get things moving. I think that approaching her to put the house on sale id the first move. Hopefully relations between you are sufficient that you can do this without involving solicitors.

kingfisherblue said:

chris86maloney said:

Hi I am hoping for some advice although I feel my situation is very unique.

I have been split with my ex partner now for 7 years (never married), we share a son who is now 11 years old. At the time of splitting we went through mediation and eventually ended up in court to decide the division of the shared home. The court decided in the best interests of my son who was 4 years old at the time that my ex will stay in the property and certain conditions will be put in place that can "force the sale" - I use that very loosely i.e. remarriage, cohabiting for more than 6 months. Basically I will not be able to attempt to get off this mortgage until my son is out of full time education or 18 years old. She has since remarried and now split and has never once used her best endeavours to release me from the mortgage. Property is currently worth approx £300k and mortgage is £110k.
As you can imagine this is holding me back from owning a property of my own due to the difficulty of having a second home with two residential mortgages and also the increased stamp duty payable.

Can anyone who has come across something like this please offer some advice as to what options I have - in either getting my name off the mortgage and the equity from the house or even somehow utilising the equity to my advantage in a second charge mortgage to use as a deposit on a property for myself? Many thanks!!

As she has remarried, a trigger to force the sale has been met. Have you mentioned this to her? At the moment, she is sitting pretty, and I doubt if she will do anything to rock the boat. It's up to you to get things moving. I think that approaching her to put the house on sale id the first move. Hopefully relations between you are sufficient that you can do this without involving solicitors.

hi - I have mentioned it on a number of occasions but she always insists she is not in a position to buy me out or sell up. the husband is now an ex but she is still married to him. we are on good terms to talk but she will only do something if she is forced to unfortunately. I have tried numerous times to get things moving but literally lost now - might have to just wait until my son is 18 before I can force a sale. very frustrating as it makes it hard for me to get another residential mortgage, all buying schemes are not available as well. 

chris86maloney

Spendless said:

At the point she married that should have triggered a change that meant the property weas sold or she bought you out. Why didn't that happen? Why wasn't anyone informed of this change? How long was she married for before splitting up? 

hi - she was married for 1.5-2 years. Unfortunately not that straightforward, I wish it was! seems rather pointless having these conditions in the order. spoke to a solicitor about the order and a form E has to be the first step to see if her and the husband are in a position to buy me out.

Comms69

chris86maloney said:

Spendless said:

At the point she married that should have triggered a change that meant the property weas sold or she bought you out. Why didn't that happen? Why wasn't anyone informed of this change? How long was she married for before splitting up? 

hi - she was married for 1.5-2 years. Unfortunately not that straightforward, I wish it was! seems rather pointless having these conditions in the order. spoke to a solicitor about the order and a form E has to be the first step to see if her and the husband are in a position to buy me out.

But that's irrelevant to the outcome. If they cant buy you out, it's sold! I think you've had some really bad advice from someone.

chris86maloney

JReacher1 said:

Are you still paying this mortgage? It’s a bit unclear. 

hi - no I do not pay the mortgage just child maintenance. in the order it is stated I do not have to pay towards the mortgage but any capital she builds up after we split is hers to keep when the house is sold. 

chris86maloney

Comms69 said:

chris86maloney said:

Spendless said:

At the point she married that should have triggered a change that meant the property weas sold or she bought you out. Why didn't that happen? Why wasn't anyone informed of this change? How long was she married for before splitting up? 

hi - she was married for 1.5-2 years. Unfortunately not that straightforward, I wish it was! seems rather pointless having these conditions in the order. spoke to a solicitor about the order and a form E has to be the first step to see if her and the husband are in a position to buy me out.

But that's irrelevant to the outcome. If they cant buy you out, it's sold! I think you've had some really bad advice from someone.

I wish that was the case but I have had a solicitor tell me straight that would not be the case. absolutely crazy and does not make any sense to me at all. wish I could get in front of someone who completely understands this order. in my eyes she has broke the order so straight sale! also she has never once used her best endeavours to release me from the mortgage in 7 years so that must stand up!

chris86maloney

Unfortunately I have not had a great experience with the solicitors I have used as they seem to tell you what you want to hear just for the fees. not saying they are all the same as like every industry you get good and bad.

Comms69

chris86maloney said:

Comms69 said:

chris86maloney said:

Spendless said:

At the point she married that should have triggered a change that meant the property weas sold or she bought you out. Why didn't that happen? Why wasn't anyone informed of this change? How long was she married for before splitting up? 

hi - she was married for 1.5-2 years. Unfortunately not that straightforward, I wish it was! seems rather pointless having these conditions in the order. spoke to a solicitor about the order and a form E has to be the first step to see if her and the husband are in a position to buy me out.

But that's irrelevant to the outcome. If they cant buy you out, it's sold! I think you've had some really bad advice from someone.

I wish that was the case but I have had a solicitor tell me straight that would not be the case. absolutely crazy and does not make any sense to me at all. wish I could get in front of someone who completely understands this order. in my eyes she has broke the order so straight sale! also she has never once used her best endeavours to release me from the mortgage in 7 years so that must stand up!

Look i'm a stranger on the internet, but if you redact personal details and post a copy you'll get feedback. 

As i said it seems like you had a bad solicitor, because the court has ordered, not advised, when the sale takes place.