Being threatened for funeral expenses

choiceparalysis5

My stepdad died very suddenly recently and due to the shock my mum was unable to instantly sort everything out. My siblings and I obviously tried to help the best we can but we don’t live close, have responsibilities here and obviously are restricted due to covid. 

His siblings took over dealing with things and payed for a funeral without involving us. They are now making threats to get this money back. Nothing that goes close enough to break the law sadly, I’ve blocked them on all channels and we are trying to get my mum away from her house because these people want to go round and say very graphic things about her deceased husbands death to her. 

There isn’t an estate, they didn’t own property, he didn’t have a pension or insurance. There just isn’t money here. My mum would be going without food if we weren’t sending money. Luckily he had no children and my mums children are all adults. 

Before I realised the disgusting nature of these people I had made a plan to borrow money from a friend to pay them because I genuinely didn’t want them to be out of pocket. Now that’s the least of my worries but I don’t want my mum in trouble.

Is there anything legally we can or should be doing? 

74jax

Who instructed the funeral director? 

choiceparalysis5

The deceased sister I assume as it is her that paid for it. It was either her or her brother. We hadn’t realised it had been arranged until we got an invite. 

pphillips

If the siblings paid for the funeral they need to recover the money from the estate.
Someone correct me if I'm wrong but if the estate has no money, I don't think they can legally recover it from another relative.

choiceparalysis5

The estate is likely to be in the minus. I’m happy for them to strip the house bare like a swarm of locusts if they think it’ll help I just don’t want my mum to ever have to see or hear from them because she is very fragile and the things they are saying to me are quite graphic and upsetting. 

onwards&upwards

Nobody ever has to pay for a funeral. They chose to, so they pay.  Maybe they assumed there was money in the estate but there isn't so its tough, they should have checked first if it mattered that much to them.  

Maybe your mum should tell them she can't pay them from the estate because she isn't going to be administering it and that they are welcome to if they think its worth it. 

Dox

If the estate is insolvent, make quite sure that neither you nor your mum does anything at all which could be seen as taking steps to administer it. Even if a will emerges naming your mum/you as executor/s, renounce immediately, however hard that is emotionally and tell the siblings they are welcome to sort it out and reclaim the funeral expenses if there's anything to claim.

choiceparalysis5

What things would be seen as administering it? My mum is currently living in the house they were renting but none of us have done anything with any of his stuff etc. 

choiceparalysis5

I’m happy to deal with paperwork and things, from an emotional standpoint I barely knew him. It’s sad that he died young and I’m glad he didn’t suffer but my only concern is for my mums wellbeing and ensuring that me and my siblings don’t end up in any legal troubles. 

Silvertabby

The only person legally responsible for the funeral expenses is the person who signed the funeral director's contract.

They may claim repayment from the estate -  but if stepdad died insolvent, then that is the end of that.

However, are you sure that he didn't have any valuables - watches, tech, etc?

choiceparalysis5

I would be amazed if he did but obviously I can check with my mum.
He had an illegal unroadworthy car that was left on his bosses land. An old mobile phone. An old laptop maybe? 

Was a manual worker so never went in for jewellery etc, they lived in a camper van for a long while so possessions weren’t their thing. The van went to the scrap yard when it became unviable. 

A cat, a moggy not a pedigree, if you can even sell living parts of the estate.