Grocery shopping basic account

Fighter1986

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth said:

Question. Do you intend the relationship to last? If so, stop missing and get just one joint account and run it together like your life!

Otherwise, just get a simple current account, maybe starling and run from there!

This isn't necessarily the best advise for a life-long relationship.

My OH and I operate our own independant bank accounts, I have all of the household bills coming out of mine and he has a standing order to pay his half into my account on the 1st of each month.

We alternate weeks who pays for the grocery shopping.

In a few years time when we've bought a house together we'll open a joint account, which will be used for joint household expenses - Mortgage, house insurance, utilities. We'll pay half each into this account on the 31st/1st of each month.

We will continue to operate independant accounts for receipt of our salaries and our spending. We will continue to alternate weeks who pays for groceries.

Finances are very personal, I earn what I earn, he earns what he earns, and whatever we each choose to spend money on is entirely our prerogative. I respect that, as does he. As long as our joint, basic obligations are met the rest is our own business. We don't have issues with ill-thought-out spending and trust each other implicitly. 

Obviously, at present we do have a joint mission of buying a house together in three years time, which we are saving into our own independent LISAs for. We know the minimum amount each of us needs to save each month to reach our goal within the prescribed timeframe, and we do so. Sometimes we save more than this. Whether or not we do is up to us and what we spend the rest of our money on is up to us. 

One joint account for all incomes and spending into and out of is a recipe for disaster. I strongly recommend against it. 

Taking a journey together for life? Great. But maintaining a modicum of independence throughout that journey is part of not falling into co-dependant behavioural habits. 

As we are a pair where one or both of whom may be in or out of the armed forces at any given time depending on where fate takes us, being able to trust the other to be capable and independant when apart is just as vital as enjoying the times we share together. 

In response to OP's question TBH, from what you've explained, you probably don't need a joint account. For your situation it might confuse more than it helps.