Help!

kimwp

MAS would probably be Money Advisory Service. I'm glad you are open to suggestions, your early replies made it seem as though you were justifying your spend, whereas I think you were actually just explaining your approach to ask for an opinion on it?
It's very easy to spend very different amounts while living very similar lifestyles - I buy Sainsbury organic food (due to ethical intent), but I could buy Aldi and have a much reduced food bill- and would, if my income dropped and there would be very little impact to my lifestyle. 

What does your £500 Christmas budget cover? My family do a secret Santa with a £30 guide price - it reduces the spend, the accumulation of mindlessly acquired "stuff" and the pressure to search for lots of presents. I saw a lovely post somewhere, where the family decided to put together presentations for each other. Could be on anything, could be funny, educational or what you found when you cleared out the kitchen drawer where all the random junk goes. How about one on your favourite times with your family this year?

MisterBumble23

kimwp said:

MAS would probably be Money Advisory Service. I'm glad you are open to suggestions, your early replies made it seem as though you were justifying your spend, whereas I think you were actually just explaining your approach to ask for an opinion on it?
It's very easy to spend very different amounts while living very similar lifestyles - I buy Sainsbury organic food (due to ethical intent), but I could buy Aldi and have a much reduced food bill- and would, if my income dropped and there would be very little impact to my lifestyle. 

What does your £500 Christmas budget cover? My family do a secret Santa with a £30 guide price - it reduces the spend, the accumulation of mindlessly acquired "stuff" and the pressure to search for lots of presents. I saw a lovely post somewhere, where the family decided to put together presentations for each other. Could be on anything, could be funny, educational or what you found when you cleared out the kitchen drawer where all the random junk goes. How about one on your favourite times with your family this year?

Hey, no not at all. Looking back it can be interpreted that way, but my tactic was just to be as honest as possible and put across how we live to get the right help. If I share my thought processes and behaviors first, hopefully I can begin to acknowledge them and move forward. I've spent years justifying expense to myself so it's tough to come out of. My wife shops at Aldi every Friday (I'm banned from shopping), it comes to £80-£90 every week. That includes all food, washing stuff, kitchen and bathroom stuff etc etc. My perception was we were doing okay on that budget. I think with some creativity we could plan meals better and shrink that bill. I have a spreadsheet for Xmas (seems i'm more organised with Xmas than anything else!), it has been around £500 for the last five years or so, so I put that down as on of our expenses. Again, with creativity this can be reduced a lot, I really like your idea on Xmas. I take full responsibility and ownership of the money situation, it has been a result of years of overspending and being 'yes' people to our friends. Gambling took it's toll and it impacted my attitude towards money, almost devaluing the pound if that makes sense??? I have been gambling free for fifteen years but it generates a lack of respect towards money, a burying of your head in the sand and I think it's fair to say I have subconsciously replaced the addiction with another, buying things I don't need. 

sharpe106

It seems to be you are more in the right position to actually make a difference, so good luck. But as others have said have a good conversation with your family so you are all on the same wavelength. Look to be a bit more creative with your food budget, also for presents sometimes making things can you save you a bit more and mean more to others.

kimwp

" My wife shops at Aldi every Friday (I'm banned from shopping), it comes to £80-£90 every week. That includes all food, washing stuff, kitchen and bathroom stuff etc etc"

I'm not sure what a reasonable shop is in monetary terms, but I think as long as no-one is hungry and everyone is eating enough of the right stuff (fats, protein, carbs, fruit and veg), then there is always room to reduce food spend. A few things I have learned -
- it's worth seeing if you can squeeze things out for a few more days. In lockdown, I've been putting off going to the shops where I can and it's amazing how many times I've easily been able to make tasty and healthy meals from what's left in the fridge and learned a few recipes as well!
- It's quite easy to waste fresh fruit and veg if you're not paying attention. Aim to waste nothing. Most stuff can be chopped or mashed then frozen (or cooked then frozen) to save it for a later date. The internet is a great resource, there are even apps and sites where you can put the exact food you need to use up. Planning meals helps.
- vegetarian is generally cheaper. You can bulk out mince with quorn or have vegetarian challenge days
- having regular "cheap" meals eg weekday lunches or days is a way of reducing the spend while not feeling you are being restricted all the time. Baked potato or toast and beans, pasta or rice and veg with tinned tomatoes and curry spices are cheap but yummy. Obviously you don't want to spend loads on the other meals, but you can vary them a bit more and use more "luxurious" foods. For me, this is cheaper, but also means fewer things to think about.

Ceme3000

When is your home and contents insurance due for renewal? Do you shop around? I just had my renewal for £178, went to the comparison sites and got similar buildings and contents cover from a big name insurer for £116 per annum. 

If you don't already, it's worth checking.

BobsySpud

Re: Breakdown cover - when my car insurance came up for renewal, I went with a policy that included breakdown cover......saved myself £90 p/a

ThatKiss

MisterBumble23 said:
To the contrary, I am actively taking on board all of the advise so far. I am speaking to my wife with suggestions of what to cut back on. At no point have I rejected any suggestions on this thread??? This is the first time my anxiety over finances has held off long enough to make a first step and I am new to disclosing this to other people. My approach has been to be as honest as possible about where money has been spent and look for guidance/ideas from others and how we compare. Also, I have never completed an SOA before and it needs some tweaking. The fact remains that there has been no extra money at the end of the month to make any meaningful hit on the long-standing credit card balances, but I am fully aware of the cause (me).  Believe me, I want to help myself but I genuinely cannot work out why we have no money left, hence reaching out for help. 

Just to say my earlier post on this thread may have come across as a little on the "tough love" side but reading further I can see you are taking the feedback on board. Good luck in your journey!

MisterBumble23

Managed to have a long conversation with my wife yesterday about our options and what I have done so far, expecting a call from Citizens Advice today. I work from home as an insurance broker and as such the car, home and pet insurance are with the right insurers at a good rate. BTW If any of you have any insurance queries feel free to ask. I have been working from home for around 3 years and that has made a slight difference to consumables in the house. My wife mentioned her job role and having a 'clean' credit file, I am not sure if it's something we need to look at, perhaps mention to Citizens Advice?? The chap on the phone at Citizens Advice mentioned a debt management plan but I think this would have implications for credit files. 

Jude57

To be totally frank I wouldn't worry about the impact of a DMP on your credit file. Your SOA shows that you can afford your contractual payments, with surplus over that, so none of the reputable debt advice charities (which are the only places anyone should go for a DMP) will offer a DMP. With a DMP, the charity will ask creditors to suspend interest and charges based on the fact that the client (you) is unable to meet contractual payments in full after reasonable household costs are paid, therefore continuing to add interest and charges will only increase the time taken to clear the debt. In my experience, once creditors see your SOA, (and they have to see it if they are to get behind a DMP) they would refuse to suspend interest as you can manage your contractual payments in full, therefore are able to 'afford' to stick to your original agreement with them.
I hope that makes sense to you, I'm sure the CAB adviser will say something similar. 

It seems to me that you're taking all the right steps to address your situation which, imho, is more about learning to budget than debt management, and I'm with other posters who recommend paying just over minimums while tackling one debt at a time with your surplus.  From the way you've taken on board all the suggestions, I'm confident you'll go from strength to strength.  Good luck!

Jude57

Also, I should say, I'm not a newbie, I lost my old account, the imaginatively titled jude47 in MSE's revamp. I've been a member since about 2007!