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Buying a house when separated

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DrewC80DrewC80 Forumite
1 posts
MoneySaving Newbie
Hi All,

hoping someone can help before I look at expense of solicitors etc.

So, Nov 2018 found out my wife was having an affair. We agreed to try and stay together and make it work for sake of very young son. Then in October 2019 agreed it was not going to work out - so we separated. We sold our house, and divided any remaining equity evenly. We share custody (hence we both bare cost of the child) and I pay half the nursery costs etc. It’s all amicable and we talk daily about our son.

I have met a new partner and we would like to consider buying a house together, as she currently owns a small house with her daughter and I rent - so looking to buy somewhere large enough for us to live in and have my son when I have him.

The issue is, as we lived together for 6 months post the adultery, the adultery cannot be used. Don’t want the cost of a legal separation & then a divorce. So can we get some kind of document drawn up that gives her zero claim to the new house with my new partner - whilst we are still married? We were planing on then filing for divorce on grounds of two year separation in November 21 - if her financial situation changes - and the amicability suddenly changes - I don’t want her to end up trying to come after the future asset.

Thanks

Drew

Replies

  • NinjaTuneNinjaTune Forumite
    111 posts
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Jeez, talk about moving fast!  You only separated in October 2019 and already talking about making a huge financial commitment with someone you've been with for a maximum of 7 months.  My advice would be to slow down and be with your new girlfriend at least another 6 months before thinking of buying a house together.  I assume you haven't moved in with your girlfriend as there's not enough room for your son to stay overnight.

    I'm not sure whether your wife would have a claim on property you bought after your separation, but as you are still legally married it could potentially get very messy.
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  • Claddagh_NoirCladdagh_Noir Forumite
    133 posts
    100 Posts Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    As the previous posters have stated... take the foot of the gas.  Get the current situation sorted out first before setting up home with someone you have anyone known for a small amount of time. 
  • onwards&upwardsonwards&upwards Forumite
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    Its waaaay too soon to be thinking of living as a blended family.  Think years not months!
  • MovingForwardsMovingForwards Forumite
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    DrewC80 said:
    Hi All,

    hoping someone can help before I look at expense of solicitors etc.

    So, Nov 2018 found out my wife was having an affair. We agreed to try and stay together and make it work for sake of very young son. Then in October 2019 agreed it was not going to work out - so we separated. We sold our house, and divided any remaining equity evenly. We share custody (hence we both bare cost of the child) and I pay half the nursery costs etc. It’s all amicable and we talk daily about our son.

    I have met a new partner and we would like to consider buying a house together, as she currently owns a small house with her daughter and I rent - so looking to buy somewhere large enough for us to live in and have my son when I have him.

    The issue is, as we lived together for 6 months post the adultery, the adultery cannot be used. Don’t want the cost of a legal separation & then a divorce. So can we get some kind of document drawn up that gives her zero claim to the new house with my new partner - whilst we are still married? We were planing on then filing for divorce on grounds of two year separation in November 21 - if her financial situation changes - and the amicability suddenly changes - I don’t want her to end up trying to come after the future asset.

    Thanks

    Drew


    https://www.gov.uk/legal-separation#:~:text=A legal separation allows you,or end a civil partnership.

    You want a legal separation.


    I get you have met your soul mate, want to be together forever etc but agree with what the others have said about your relationship, unless you were seeing her for a few years, but even then it's still best to wait.

    I know you think you won't split up, maybe you won't, but you always need to look at both sides of the coin.

    If anything buy a home in your own name first and wait, don't get financially tied in with another yet, it may not be a clean split as your marriage was. 
  • mamanmaman Forumite
    22.5K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
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    While I completely agree with others about rushing this new relationship there are practical considerations. You say the financial split is agreed but that could change. Also the housing market might fall and you'd get a better deal on a new property if you wait for a while. 
  • pphillipspphillips Forumite
    1.1K posts
    1,000 Posts Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
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    Rather than waiting till November 2021, why not use cite the fact as unreasonable behaviour?
  • BrassicWomanBrassicWoman Forumite
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    rent. it gives so many more options while you wait to get a divorce.
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