Dating Affecting Income

tonystratham

Hello,
So recently i have split with my girlfriend, as she says i work too much and dont pay her much attention. This is true and something i tried to change. She has moved back to her parents house. I generally am happy, have good friends, i cycle and have a good work life / balance. However my mind is constantly obsessing and getting sad about how good our relationship was and it is making me feel sad everyday. I know myself i dont want to feel like this, as i am happy i can do whatever i want now, does anyone know how to stop the brain thinking like this, will these thoughts fade? As this is affecting me when working from home, as i am generally feeling sad and i dont want this to start affecting my income. Thank you for your time and all the best. 

Socajam

It's going to take while for the hurt to stop and being locked down will make it 100% worse.
Can you go a run/walk/cycle early morning whilst it's not too crowed - that should help to clear your head - and nothing beats exercise for making you feel better.
Spend some time looking at your life and where do you see yourself once the lock down is no more.
What do you want out of life - travel, save up for a property, emergency/life happens funds.

bouicca21

Give yourself time to mourn.  A breakup is like dealing with a death, it takes a lot of time to process and move on.

mobileron

Get a younger model mate,enoy yourself.

Fireflyaway

I understand. My husband left in January after 17 years. I'm sorry to say I'm still thinking about it every second. Probably because we share a child and there is a chance he might come back. However I found concentrating on myself helped. I suggest you think about what makes you happy and look after yourself. Work on something you have been meaning to do but have put off. Learn a new skill or take up something beneficial to your health, yoga, meditation, cooking etc. The biggest question..... Is the relationship completely over? Are you certain?  It's very hard to move on if there is uncertainty about that. Once you have established it is, try to focus on the future. Time will make it better. You will find a new partner in the future when you are ready and there is no reason why the future won't be even better than now. 

swingaloo

tonystratham said:

Hello,
So recently i have split with my girlfriend, as she says i work too much and dont pay her much attention. This is true and something i tried to change. She has moved back to her parents house. I generally am happy, have good friends, i cycle and have a good work life / balance. However my mind is constantly obsessing and getting sad about how good our relationship was and it is making me feel sad everyday. I know myself i dont want to feel like this, as i am happy i can do whatever i want now, does anyone know how to stop the brain thinking like this, will these thoughts fade? As this is affecting me when working from home, as i am generally feeling sad and i dont want this to start affecting my income. Thank you for your time and all the best. 

You just need time. Being at home in lockdown is making you obsess about the relationship but it clearly wasn't as good as you remember it. You do not have 'a good work/life balance or you would still be in the relationship. Some things in your post stood out to me. Nowhere in your post do you mention missing your ex. You are happy to be able to do as you like now. You don't want the way you are feeling to affect your income. Even your thread title mentions your income and not the loss of the relationship. Give it time, things will seem different when the lockdown relaxes. I don't think you sound ready for an all consuming type of relationship yet. 

Titus_Wadd

How is dating affecting your income?

Fireflyaway

One thing I wanted to mention is if your work life balance swings towards work, have a think if you are happy about this. If not then make some changes before you become negativity impacted. If you love your work and it's your passion that's cool but do make that known to any new partner before you get too serious. My husband became a workaholic and although I really do admire his drive and achievements, it meant we spent little time together. He was either working, studying or tired from doing one or the other. To an extent I could rationalise it but our child definitely missed out on time with dad and I read that's going to be an overriding memory. Take care of yourself before embarking on a relationship.

[Deleted User]

Give it time. You'll find the thoughts will fade.
I don't speak from the lovelife front but certainly when made redundant in situations far from choosen. I had a great job in 2013, loved the thrill of that type of life or certainly I felt happy, contented more then I ever had that summer then any other, but it wasn't to last, took months for the sadness to overcome.  Nothing compared for some time. 

SidneySmutt

Like Titus_Wadd, I too would like to know how "dating is affecting your income"?

MovingForwards

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6137776/income-fatigue#latest

You could do with evaluating your life.

Either money is what you want, with everything else taking second place.
Or
Everything else is what you want, with a suitable job / income to support it. The work / life balance.