Soundproofing neighbours.

[Deleted User]

benson1980 said:

Deleted_User said:

Davesnave said:

Deleted_User said:

GDB2222 said:

The birds in my garden are making quite a racket. They have been since quite an unsociable hour. Why is that noise acceptable, but the noise of our own young unacceptable?

Completely different context. You can't control wild birds. Plus, most people would find bird song relaxing

  As you admitted earlier, people can't usually control their neighbours' children any more than bird song or droning farm machinery. Whether they ought to have an ability to control them isn't within the scope of this forum. People have different ideas about child and pet behaviour, as any trip into the relevant niches of MSE will show. Exactly the same disagreements occur whenever people ask whether others would buy a house near a school. 

The best approach is possibly to avoid sensitisation, which others have mentioned.

I can't remember our kids being terribly noisy, but then, we had girls!

Nobody can control their neighbours' children, but people can and should control their own children. That was my original point but this thread seems to have gone beyond that now. 

I think it's what you mean by controlling i.e. keeping quiet. The OP wasn't actually complaining that the kids next door were doing anything wrong. Just that it grates, which I understand. But genuinely, unless they are crying loudly/fighting and being left to it without any adult intervention, they are as entitled as anyone to enjoy the garden. You can't really 'train' young children not to make any noise, or take them on excursions every day to the park and saunter back home when they are tired and put them straight to bed. You took this topic onto this basically being a parenting issue, and it came across as rather ill informed at best, especially when you have zero experience of parenting yourself.

Look Benson, i'm getting a bit fed up of repeating myself here, but just to point out yet again, I never said that kids should be kept quiet. I don't know why you keep saying that because I haven't said it once on this thread! 
Kids will play in gardens and so they should. What I am saying is that there is a difference between playful noise and loud shrieking and screaming. It is the latter that parents should be dealing with so that others (like the OP) do not have to suffer. 
I also don't know why you choose to repeatedly point out that I don't have kids, like i'm not entitled to an opinion because of it. 

benson1980

Deleted_User said:

benson1980 said:

Deleted_User said:

Davesnave said:

Deleted_User said:

GDB2222 said:

The birds in my garden are making quite a racket. They have been since quite an unsociable hour. Why is that noise acceptable, but the noise of our own young unacceptable?

Completely different context. You can't control wild birds. Plus, most people would find bird song relaxing

  As you admitted earlier, people can't usually control their neighbours' children any more than bird song or droning farm machinery. Whether they ought to have an ability to control them isn't within the scope of this forum. People have different ideas about child and pet behaviour, as any trip into the relevant niches of MSE will show. Exactly the same disagreements occur whenever people ask whether others would buy a house near a school. 

The best approach is possibly to avoid sensitisation, which others have mentioned.

I can't remember our kids being terribly noisy, but then, we had girls!

Nobody can control their neighbours' children, but people can and should control their own children. That was my original point but this thread seems to have gone beyond that now. 

I think it's what you mean by controlling i.e. keeping quiet. The OP wasn't actually complaining that the kids next door were doing anything wrong. Just that it grates, which I understand. But genuinely, unless they are crying loudly/fighting and being left to it without any adult intervention, they are as entitled as anyone to enjoy the garden. You can't really 'train' young children not to make any noise, or take them on excursions every day to the park and saunter back home when they are tired and put them straight to bed. You took this topic onto this basically being a parenting issue, and it came across as rather ill informed at best, especially when you have zero experience of parenting yourself.

Look Benson, i'm getting a bit fed up of repeating myself here, but just to point out yet again, I never said that kids should be kept quiet. I don't know why you keep saying that because I haven't said it once on this thread! 
Kids will play in gardens and so they should. What I am saying is that there is a difference between playful noise and loud shrieking and screaming. It is the latter that parents should be dealing with so that others (like the OP) do not have to suffer. 
I also don't know why you choose to repeatedly point out that I don't have kids, like i'm not entitled to an opinion because of it. 

This is a forum of opinions. Share all you like. Just be prepared for people to disagree sometimes. Genuinely I think the ops best bet is to keep good relations with the neighbours and unless it’s out of hand, which it doesn’t really sound like it is and just sounds like normal family noise, try and live with it.

[Deleted User]

benson1980 said:

Deleted_User said:

benson1980 said:

Deleted_User said:

Davesnave said:

Deleted_User said:

GDB2222 said:

The birds in my garden are making quite a racket. They have been since quite an unsociable hour. Why is that noise acceptable, but the noise of our own young unacceptable?

Completely different context. You can't control wild birds. Plus, most people would find bird song relaxing

  As you admitted earlier, people can't usually control their neighbours' children any more than bird song or droning farm machinery. Whether they ought to have an ability to control them isn't within the scope of this forum. People have different ideas about child and pet behaviour, as any trip into the relevant niches of MSE will show. Exactly the same disagreements occur whenever people ask whether others would buy a house near a school. 

The best approach is possibly to avoid sensitisation, which others have mentioned.

I can't remember our kids being terribly noisy, but then, we had girls!

Nobody can control their neighbours' children, but people can and should control their own children. That was my original point but this thread seems to have gone beyond that now. 

I think it's what you mean by controlling i.e. keeping quiet. The OP wasn't actually complaining that the kids next door were doing anything wrong. Just that it grates, which I understand. But genuinely, unless they are crying loudly/fighting and being left to it without any adult intervention, they are as entitled as anyone to enjoy the garden. You can't really 'train' young children not to make any noise, or take them on excursions every day to the park and saunter back home when they are tired and put them straight to bed. You took this topic onto this basically being a parenting issue, and it came across as rather ill informed at best, especially when you have zero experience of parenting yourself.

Look Benson, i'm getting a bit fed up of repeating myself here, but just to point out yet again, I never said that kids should be kept quiet. I don't know why you keep saying that because I haven't said it once on this thread! 
Kids will play in gardens and so they should. What I am saying is that there is a difference between playful noise and loud shrieking and screaming. It is the latter that parents should be dealing with so that others (like the OP) do not have to suffer. 
I also don't know why you choose to repeatedly point out that I don't have kids, like i'm not entitled to an opinion because of it. 

This is a forum of opinions. Share all you like. Just be prepared for people to disagree sometimes. 

Likewise...

Davesnave

RelievedSheff said:

Davesnave said:

Deleted_User said:

GDB2222 said:

The birds in my garden are making quite a racket. They have been since quite an unsociable hour. Why is that noise acceptable, but the noise of our own young unacceptable?

Completely different context. You can't control wild birds. Plus, most people would find bird song relaxing

  As you admitted earlier, people can't usually control their neighbours' children any more than bird song or droning farm machinery. Whether they ought to have an ability to control them isn't within the scope of this forum. People have different ideas about child and pet behaviour, as any trip into the relevant niches of MSE will show. Exactly the same disagreements occur whenever people ask whether others would buy a house near a school. 

The best approach is possibly to avoid sensitisation, which others have mentioned.

I can't remember our kids being terribly noisy, but then, we had girls!

I suspect they were noisy then. You just didn't notice it.

The ear piercing screech that small girls emit is particularly grating.

Guilty until proved innocent then. Nice! I don't believe my memory is quite that bad, though.

I certainly remember standing in the bay window one evening, looking down the cul de sac, doing a bit of maths and remarking to my wife that we had 11 children living within 4 or 5 doors of our house: "But where are they? I never see or hear any of them!"

It was true, the road was never played in as it used to be in the '80s and the only kids I saw were the 2 lads next door who'd sometimes play football on their back lawn. This was around 2005.

So it wasn't just our girls who were quiet.

GDB2222

A lot of traffic noise this morning, or so it seems. I guess we’ll have to adjust again.

RelievedSheff

GDB2222 said:

A lot of traffic noise this morning, or so it seems. I guess we’ll have to adjust again.

The developers are back at work again here so we have the back ground hum of the machines working all day and the banging away of the power tools. Which oddly I don't find distracting, perhaps it is because my job is in construction so I am used to those noises through work.

By far the most obtrusive noise here is as the OP has found the noise of children screaming and shreaking. Luckily for us it isn't all day and they are far enough away from our house that the noise isn't on top of us day in day out, we can escape from it.

I said it before and I will say it again though, these are far from normal times with everyone spending far more time at home than is usual. Everyone has to accept that they may have to make some changes to their lives to be considerate to those living around them. 

Kerry22

GDB2222 said:

Deleted_User said:

benson1980 said:

Deleted_User said:

It amazes me how many parents throw their kids out into the garden to run riot all day without a thought for the surrounding properties who have to put up with their children's blood curdling screams all day. It's just lazy parenting at its best. 

I can sympathise. I love the summer and we have a nice big garden that most of the time we can't enjoy because of the sound of screaming and shouting from next door. The issue also is that they are not well behaved kids, so not only do we have the kids screaming all the time but the adults shouting at the kids. 

To my knowledge there is little you can do to soundproof a garden. Just be thankful that you live detached from them. 

Do you have children? We naively thought when we produced a sibling for our first born that they would play delightfully with each other for the majority of the time. I recalled from my childhood only very sporadic disagreements with my brother that were always resolved cordially. My parents have a different view, and now that I am experiencing first hand, I realise how naive we were. Kids run around, scream, and fight with their siblings. I feel sorry for our neighbours. We try and keep it in check, but only so much you can do, whilst trying to retain your own sanity...and I want them to enjoy our garden in their own special way.

Well quite simply, if your children can't behave then don't let them play in the garden. They will soon get the message and unless want to be stuck indoors then they'll start behaving. Either that or take them to a bloody park where they can scream and shot all they want. Your neighbours should not have to suffer. 

The kids are behaving themselves. It’s what kids do in a garden. I feel very, very sorry for people who don’t get a feeling of joy from the children enjoying themselves. 

On the last note, I feel very very sorry for those people too, but not because they dont get a feeling of joy from the kids enjoying themselves, but because they may be working from home and have work deadlines, they may have been woken at the crack of dawn or in the middle of the night by someone's child.  And all they get from others is 'you don't have children, you won't understand.'  Pathetic.  They've chosen not to have children in many cases and yet they are still having all the disruption to their lives that comes with having a child.  As for all these parents thinking they are the only child behaviour experts, there are people who offer that service to some very troubled families yet don't have children themselves, and they get good results.  It's time people stopped having a go at those without children.  Imagine saying to your boss that you couldn't get the project finished because of the kids, and your boss looks at you and says 'but you don't have children.'  And you have to explain it's the neighbour's children.  This isn't against the children, it's some parents who seem to think that because they have adjusted to life with children, that the rest of the world should, even though they have different lives.

GDB2222

The neighbour's gardener started up his petrol strimmer at 8 this morning, and he’s been using it solidly since. Had I been asleep, it would have been a very effective alarm. Personally, I’d have preferred it if he had sent his children round to play, instead. 

Davesnave

Kerry22 said:

GDB2222 said:

Deleted_User said:

benson1980 said:

Deleted_User said:

It amazes me how many parents throw their kids out into the garden to run riot all day without a thought for the surrounding properties who have to put up with their children's blood curdling screams all day. It's just lazy parenting at its best. 

I can sympathise. I love the summer and we have a nice big garden that most of the time we can't enjoy because of the sound of screaming and shouting from next door. The issue also is that they are not well behaved kids, so not only do we have the kids screaming all the time but the adults shouting at the kids. 

To my knowledge there is little you can do to soundproof a garden. Just be thankful that you live detached from them. 

Do you have children? We naively thought when we produced a sibling for our first born that they would play delightfully with each other for the majority of the time. I recalled from my childhood only very sporadic disagreements with my brother that were always resolved cordially. My parents have a different view, and now that I am experiencing first hand, I realise how naive we were. Kids run around, scream, and fight with their siblings. I feel sorry for our neighbours. We try and keep it in check, but only so much you can do, whilst trying to retain your own sanity...and I want them to enjoy our garden in their own special way.

Well quite simply, if your children can't behave then don't let them play in the garden. They will soon get the message and unless want to be stuck indoors then they'll start behaving. Either that or take them to a bloody park where they can scream and shot all they want. Your neighbours should not have to suffer. 

The kids are behaving themselves. It’s what kids do in a garden. I feel very, very sorry for people who don’t get a feeling of joy from the children enjoying themselves. 

  This isn't against the children, it's some parents who seem to think that because they have adjusted to life with children, that the rest of the world should, even though they have different lives.

The majority of people live with children for at least part of their lives and the majority of residents in this country don't expect there not to be children nearby.

But for those whose priority is to be distanced from children, plenty of different options exist. For example there are no children in the private development of 14 barn conversions close to me, mainly because they have little garden space. At a cheaper level, my parents bought a bungalow among those where, at 2 bedrooms, there was unlikely to be more than one child. In fact, in the 10 bungalows, there was none. I could point people to at least a dozen properties around my village where there would be no children close by.

It's a matter of choosing carefully, just as one would for any other factor in selecting a home, but of course circumstances are unusual at present. Over time, if home working increases,as it seems it will, people will probably factor in the level of quiet they might expect from a property and choose accordingly.

Davesnave

GDB2222 said:

The neighbour's gardener started up his petrol strimmer at 8 this morning, and he’s been using it solidly since. Had I been asleep, it would have been a very effective alarm. Personally, I’d have preferred it if he had sent his children round to play, instead.

Must be a posh area. Old John begins at 07.30 here, but  in May the tractors will be starting any time from 05.00.

I'm old fashioned; I don't chain saw on a Sunday!