My partner's parents are insane ***MOVED***

Superfuse

I have slowly realised that my partner's parents whom are 62 and 63 are in loads of debt.
I have discovered that they were living in their overdraft, have half a dozen credit cards, a personal loan, a car on finance, several monthly payments for services they do not use and a mysterious standing order to Lloyds bank to repay some historical debt.
I convinced them to use what little savings they had to pay off their overdraft.
I informed them that there would be a £7500 final payment on their car. This was news to them.
I have uncovered over 30k of debt so far, they have no assets to speak of and live in a rented council house.
My partner was unaware of the debt and her brother has not been informed...... yet......
They don't have any form of plan for repayment or retirement.
To say that I'm concerned is an understatement!
I have been gathering info from them to establish the extent of the debt. Her father was offering up any info we asked for but sadly her mother is resisting giving up any details. It's possible that she's hiding more problems.
After her resisting setting up internet banking for her Sainsburys credit card yesterday (after setting it up for his); I decided to convey to them the seriousness of their financial situation. She had an idea of the extent of the debt but he was totally oblivious and understandably upset.
During the conversation I had to inform them that they wouldn't actually own their car after 3 years (£10k spent) and that they will probably never be able to give up work as they have no strategy for paying off the capital of the debt. The interest payments of random figures are generally repaid in a hap-hazard way at the bank or over the phone. I believe they pay £1500-£2000 per month on bills. 
During our discussion; I was told that she was planning to pay off the debt with her inheritance......from my partner's grandmother.........
I think Father will be open to making a plan but I think Mother will resist any change (internet banking/ direct debts/ budgets etc).
Our basic assistance so far has been seen more as an annoyance than assistance.
However, I feel like I need to assist as I can see the debt being a massive problem when they want to/need to stop work. They have not got the capability to make an action plan and I don't think they understand many aspects of the situation that they're in.
I don't know how it's going to play out...... Will all their debt just be written off when they get a bit more elderly?
As an added twist; they are entitled to the full Right-to-buy discount of around £80k on their £160k council house. It's a shame that they can not benefit from that.
My partner and I feel frustrated as her parents work hard and appear to have spent a lifetime financially undermining themselves. I am unsure as to what further action I should take if any.
Has anyone got any ideas? Should we try to steer them in the right direction despite the mother resisting? or should we just leave them to their fate? What happens at 70 when you have debt which you can no longer keep up with? They really need support as they do not understand numbers and interest rates and they do not look more than 5 minutes into the future.

MovingForwards

Best off posting on the debt free wannabe board as they will detail what options are available, but you would be best off trying to find out the full extent of the debt and what their income is, plus their normal outgoings eg utility bills / food etc.

The debt won't get wiped off due to them being older.

Also, no point them looking at the right to buy as it's not viable and they would be responsible for the upkeep / maintenance of the property.

By renting they would have the opportunity of staying with the council for the rest of their lives and be moved to a more suitable property if / as their health dictates.

eamon

You should really head over to the "Debt Free Wanabee" board for better advice. The wise heads there have seen and read everything re unsustainable personal debt and what to do about it.

If you truly want to help then I'm afraid you will have a battle on your hands.  Don't do anything rash at the moment. Wait until you understand everything before making any commitments time and/or money wise. Of course your inlaws could easily tell you to myob.

I

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AnotherJoe

sounds like you are making a rod for your own back. If they've lived like this their whole lives they are unlikely to change and any interference from you, however useful or well meaning could come back to bite you when they blame you for whatever goes wrong however incorrect that is.

Taking "advantage" of RTB would IMO be absolutely the worst thing they could do because instead of having a home for life they would have an asset that creditors can go after and what's  the plan when they are homeless? Worst case,  come and live / sponge off, you. 

Point them at a debt help service and help them if they need help to implement their recommendations but don't do anything yourself except perhaps the obvious you raised about the paying for stuff they don't have or use.  

Pollycat

Just to point out that the OP has indeed posted on the DFW board:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6138557/my-partners-parents-are-insane#latest

swingaloo

I think you should butt out. Pass the information to your partners brother and let him and your partner take control of the situation if they want to. You wont get thanked for your intervention. They are in their early 60s, not 80's and are probably burying their heads in the sand. I do know that when I was that age I would not have wanted anyone trying to get information about my finances unless I had actually asked them to help.

hb2

AnotherJoe said:

sounds like you are making a rod for your own back. If they've lived like this their whole lives they are unlikely to change and any interference from you, however useful or well meaning could come back to bite you when they blame you for whatever goes wrong however incorrect that is.

This. OP, I think your intentions are good but fear it won't be seen like that by your in-laws!

Pollycat

Pollycat said:

Just to point out that the OP has indeed posted on the DFW board:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6138557/my-partners-parents-are-insane#latest

Again ^^^^.

The OP is probably not even reading the replies on this thread.

The 2 threads need merging.

oystercatcher

I wouldn't interfere. Someone I know once said. " I'm so glad we cashed in hubbies pension early and spent it all, we really enjoyed that money and I wouldn't be getting Pension Credit now if we'd kept it ! "  .
If they get to 70's with no money and a council house they won't be homeless and they won't starve. If they do Right to Buy then they may lose their home so definitely forget that. Some people just won't change and feel they are owed a life from the government . Sad but true. Just don't start supporting them because it will go on forever....

Superfuse

Thank you for your replies. I moved this question to another area of the forum so please don't reply to this one. I will try to get it cancelled down.
After sticking our noses in initially without invitation, the father has come round to the idea of changing a few things to save money. He seems pretty happy about any support now. He was unaware of his situation so I think our intervention is now seen as a good thing.
Mother has not shown much interest so we're not really helping her at all.

silvercar

Closing this thread now on OP's request.