First time stress sickness

caranubawax

Hi

I've called in with work related stress for my first time in my life and I'm all of a dither about it. 

I feel I'm being bullied by being overworked, having unrealistic expectations set for me and no support from my boss. It  has made me sick and lose sleep so I called in sick.

I'm panicked because I've only been there less than a year and I have few employment rights, I cannot afford to lose the job.

I am frantically seeking a new job.

Despite my return likely a week away plus, I'm already anxious about my return to work and how that will go. I'm scared that I'll be forced to quit or bullied into serious mental health problems.

I wonder if anyone had any advice on what I should ask for when u return, how I should treat my return to work etc please. I guess I'm just after a bit of a chat about it all. 😔

GHolmesAdmin

You need to raise a grievance about the bullying.

caranubawax

GHolmesAdmin said:

You need to raise a grievance about the bullying.

Thank you for the reply. I'll look into the  grievance procedure

Brynsam

GHolmesAdmin said:

You need to raise a grievance about the bullying.

First of all you need to be clear about whether there really is 'bullying'. OP says: 'I feel I'm being bullied by being overworked, having unrealistic expectations set for me and no support from my boss.' It could just be they aren't the right person for the job they are supposed to be doing, in which case it's no surprise they are feeling under pressure. That's not the same thing as bullying.

OP, if you feel like a chat, a forum populated by strangers who don't know you or anything about your job/capabilities probably isn't the place. Could you ring a friend for a chat, perhaps? Much more like to get some comfort from that.

GHolmesAdmin

In a case of bullying, it does not matter if it was 'unintended,' it is the victim's feelings which are more important than anything else. That is how the law sees it. All bullies splutter 'can't you take a joke' when challenged.

Comms69

GHolmesAdmin said:

In a case of bullying, it does not matter if it was 'unintended,' it is the victim's feelings which are more important than anything else. That is how the law sees it. All bullies splutter 'can't you take a joke' when challenged.

Ye, no...

The feelings come second. The conduct is the primary driving factor.

lincroft1710

Most jobs will put the jobholder under some form of pressure and expectations often seem unreasonable. Lack of managerial support is commonplace. You may have a genuine cause for a grievance or you may not be the person for the job. I would suggest you step back and analyse everything that you have been asked to do and discuss with a trusted no-nonsense friend.

Also think very hard before raising a grievance. Try and discuss your concerns with your manager or HR (if there is one). Oh, and they don't have to "force you to quit", with less than 2 years service they can dismiss you without reason

jonnygee2

I feel I'm being bullied by being overworked, having unrealistic expectations set for me and no support from my boss. It  has made me sick and lose sleep so I called in sick.
I'm panicked because I've only been there less than a year and I have few employment rights, I cannot afford to lose the job.

Sorry about your situation. For the situation described, you are right that you don't have a lot of employment rights to back you up.

Phoning in sick isn't going to solve the root of the problem. You cannot afford to lose the job, and in this market job retention has to be the priority. Many of us are working very long hours at the moment to help companies get through this period, it's not ideal but these are not normal times. 

Grievances are dealt with differently by different companies, but they rarely totally solve a problem and often make things worse. HR departments are part of the company, after all, not independent ombudsman, and often just back up the company. 

A good first place to start is to try to get your manager onside and understanding. Have a conversation with them, give them the chance to air any frustrations and let them know what yours are, see if you can work through them. 

Marvel1

lincroft1710 said:

Try and discuss your concerns with your manager or HR (if there is one). Oh, and they don't have to "force you to quit", with less than 2 years service they can dismiss you without reason

From this board, I thought HR would be the last ones to speak to, as they don't care about employees as they look after the company, and factor in less than 2 years, it's goodbye.

[Deleted User]

This was me last December. 6 weeks into new job; I took one day of sick when huge drama erupted on the end of day Wednesday December 18th and a witch-hunt started of who made that mistake, there was just no other way to deal with it,  I think I told myself on the Thursday I wouldn't like what happened on Friday 20th but deep down it would be for the best. I was siting in the corner of the office on my own, my supervisor wasn't really in the job role, 5 days of training which was never going to cut it, and they wanted this perfect person to deal with European orders which didn't exist. I also knew of two people before me had wondered of in strange succession to utterly bizarre other roles.  It wouldn't have helped my cause posting on here and so I refrained. Yes I could say sorry but for a mistake you had no idea you were making, something seemed irrational.
The best thing was not thinking about it, the day back I got into work, my telephone went about 9.15am for a can you come upstairs for 9.30am, up I went, offered my apologies, tried to defend myself saying the mistake happened day 14 (there was no hr just myself and a pretty senior manager) at which point I said I don't think this is me, the best person for the job is actually someone from the countries you are wishing the job role holder to speak with) at which point the senior manager in the room went I have every respect for people who realise and admit they are in the wrong role, you don't know how lucky you are.  the director who hired me on other hand and second in the room and little less polite (I had my reservations when I was offered the job and then got a sarcastic reply prior to starting and on my 6th day was pulled up for not responding fast enough to a pretty personal email during work time asking for my bank account details) saying you aren't the person we interviewed (by this stage I had come to accept I wasn't happy as soon as I started I was looking for other roles really) I refrained from commenting and as it was Christmas and they were short handed, they said they couldn't let me go immediately and they would need me to at least see the day out.  Another email came out of the director later that day that I wasn't to leave without saying anything and that I had to tell the others I was going by mutual consent  (I will admit to being sneaky and grabbing a copy of this) 

I was lucky I hadn't really gelled with anyone, it was a third party type of business and I hated the alone aspect and knowing someone took me on probably for the wrong reasons.  Like a bad plaster it was better being whipped off sooner rather then later. I could have pushed it into January but the way I saw it was I didn't want to stew on things longer then I needed to.  Things happen for a reason.

On the 31st January 2020 as brexit concluded, I was in receipt of two jobs having spent time unemployed.I have never needed to regret what happened on 20th December 2019.

Takeaway_Addict

GHolmesAdmin said:

In a case of bullying, it does not matter if it was 'unintended,' it is the victim's feelings which are more important than anything else. That is how the law sees it. All bullies splutter 'can't you take a joke' when challenged.

Simply not true