Crunchy pays off the loan early, and other stories

Aspiration

A really honest post and it’s really brave you’re talking about it.

I think a lot more people will be feeling very similar as it has been hard to feel positive over the recent months. 

One thing I think always helps lifting yourself out is to keep making small steps as it really does make a difference over time. So it’s a brilliant start getting out for a walk!! 

Hope the BT man managed to fix the internet!

crunchy_time

Aspiration said:

A really honest post and it’s really brave you’re talking about it.

I think a lot more people will be feeling very similar as it has been hard to feel positive over the recent months. 

One thing I think always helps lifting yourself out is to keep making small steps as it really does make a difference over time. So it’s a brilliant start getting out for a walk!! 

Hope the BT man managed to fix the internet!

Thank you - I don't think I can be anything but honest really.  Thank you for commenting! x

crunchy_time

Afternoon!  Since my last post I have...
- completed a workout from my subscription app which was hard but good.
- gone for a work out dog walk/bike ride with the kids
- accepted an invitation to go round to a friend for wine tonight.
- bought wine for tonight, treated kids and us to a chocolate bar and got a car wash - I know how to live!!
- filled up car with fuel from sains so we get the nectar points.  Will pay myself back tomorrow out of the fuel budget.
- talked to husband about how I am feeling.
Also, giving stuff out for free from my drive last week has returned positive karma.  Husband got a 5% payrise - roughly £200 a month backdate to July.  Although yesterday he got a letter from HMRC saying he owes £263 in tax which they will take over the next year but hey ho. You win some, you lose some.  Anyway, he has had to have some difficult conversations and early and late finishes recently.  Very pleased for him.  He wants to go out to dinner tomorrow to celebrate which I think is a good idea.
Crunchy xx

shoppingobsessed2020

Dinner out sounds like a plan, got to have some treats along the way especially to celebrate such a pay rise!

i think most of us can relate to the depression and very few of us do talk about it, having a catch up with your friend will hopefully be what you need,

re the family dynamic, I’m brutal but if they are not bringing joy to your life and your kids then do they need to be in your life?  We don’t really see my husbands parents for that reason, I can’t play nice anymore as it’s not worth it when I end up having an argument with his lordship as I’ve had to bite my tongue all evening/all day on the rare occasion they deign to visit.  Treat me like rubbish all you want, just don’t treat your son and grandson worse than dog muck as I will fight back and you won’t like it.  The issue is no one has told them no till I came along, and I’m not the kind of woman that bows down and worships the ground her man walks on and neither of my in-laws can handle the fact I have a brain, work full time and I don’t cater to his lordships every whim so it has caused a lot of issues,

crunchy_time

shoppingobsessed2020 said:

Dinner out sounds like a plan, got to have some treats along the way especially to celebrate such a pay rise!

i think most of us can relate to the depression and very few of us do talk about it, having a catch up with your friend will hopefully be what you need,

re the family dynamic, I’m brutal but if they are not bringing joy to your life and your kids then do they need to be in your life?  We don’t really see my husbands parents for that reason, I can’t play nice anymore as it’s not worth it when I end up having an argument with his lordship as I’ve had to bite my tongue all evening/all day on the rare occasion they deign to visit.  Treat me like rubbish all you want, just don’t treat your son and grandson worse than dog muck as I will fight back and you won’t like it.  The issue is no one has told them no till I came along, and I’m not the kind of woman that bows down and worships the ground her man walks on and neither of my in-laws can handle the fact I have a brain, work full time and I don’t cater to his lordships every whim so it has caused a lot of issues,

It’s helpful to know that I am not the only one with significant family issues! Thank you for sharing. To be honest we don’t really see them that much anymore for it to be so cut and dry. Lockdown helped with a refresh and boundary setting. My struggle is mainly internal as I come to terms with it all.

crunchy_time

Afternoon diary land!
I definitely was not in the land of the living this morning. Drank for too much wine, slept on the sofa and am only now really feeling my true self again. There is nothing like a hangover to help you realign your priorities. I’m going to turn it into a positive (now that I feel better) and say that I needed this hangover to re-realise that I don’t want to drink and that I really do worry way too much about what people think of me. I hadn’t actually had a drink this year until about 4 weeks into lockdown and felt so much better so it’s time to go back to that place. As for the people thing, I think I have high functioning anxiety so on the face of it I look like I have it all together but really I don’t. My new academic year promise to myself is to overcome this and call myself out on my !!!!!!.
Payday today but no sign of pay rise yet. Husband checked and said it’s his September pay but it will be backdated from July. He is also going to receive a few hundred pounds for home working equipment so that will go towards his office transformation.
We were going to go out tonight but the children have decided they want a film night instead so have bought pizza and ice cream.
Crunchy xx

crunchy_time

Morning!
lovely film night last night. I went to bed when the kids did at about 9pm and my phone didn’t charge so didn’t go off at 5.30am as planned so laid in until 7am. So I am feeling very rested!
Plans today are weekly food shop, husband finishing the bathroom and exercise later on before dinner.
We think we shall spend husbands back pay in paint for the upstairs rooms. Once he gets paid it, put it into a pot to finish off the house as the quicker it’s finished, the quicker we can get on with paying off the loans.
crunchy xx

crunchy_time

Morning!
I don't know why I am so chirpy - I had 4 hours of sleep last night.  I read through the docs from school about return to school and it triggered lots of anxiety.  Not because I am worried I shall get covid but just because it is a lot of change.  Change is good though and I am sure I will be fine.  I am actually looking forward to getting out of the house to work again.  Anyway, I came downstairs and journaled and didn't go back to bed until about 3am - up at 7am.  Currently working on second coffee.  I wrote down a lot of anxiety about my extended family issues too.  My money story is not so much 'keeping up with the Jones' but more 'keeping up with indirect familial expectations that possessions, houses and home improvements and chatter around them, and just general money chatter gets approval and attention.'  In fighting against it, I feel it has affected me more.  It's exhausting me and I am starting to see it creep into other areas of my life i.e. worrying about what people think of me ALL OF THE TIME.  We totally do our own thing and make our own decisions but talking about our plans and next steps has always created competitiveness that I no longer want to be a part of and it's hard to untangle myself from it.  But I am working on it every day and owning my story.  I'm going to turn it into a new narrative and my advantage.
It's the first of the month obviously so lots of DD's go out today including the two loan payments totaling £537.  I've detailed on my signature what elements of the debt they have paid off.  It feels nice to have nearly paid off the vet bill.  That was two years ago and was originally around £850.  At the time that was probably all we had in our emergency fund so we credit carded it until we made a decision.  I have been chipping away at it but it will be great when that is paid off.  So our total consumer debt is £10,652 which is an awesome start.
As for the house, husband has finished tiling the en suite so now its a case of finishing the painting of the walls and wood, finishing off both rooms and getting mirrors and a glass shelf for our own.  We also need some bath mats to match as ours are getting old and tatty and are falling apart.  I also need to get a new bathroom bin.  It's all starting to come together now and it looks great.  I feel comfortable paying for stuff for the house knowing that our consumer debt is going down by over £500 a month in the meantime. We will have paid off another £1500 before Christmas and nearly £6500 by this time next year.  My goal is to do what we absolutely need to do and nothing extra - functionality is what matters now.
The children's clubs are starting up again from next weekend so no more long weekends to do things with friends.  We have Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon's free.  Husband and I have started socialising more in the evenings now our children are getting older.  Coffees and local walks will be the thing this autumn I think.  We are really looking forward to it.
In my anxiety-induced insomnia yesterday I found a great quote about getting all the things done....
'We do not rise to the level of goals, we fail to the level of systems.'  When I think of my successes in life it is because I have consistently followed a system to get to that destination.  To move forward I am going to look at my goals and see what systems I can create to achieve them.
What a long post!  Happy 1st of September everyone!
Crunchy xx

t2rry

Happy September Crunchy! Sounds like lots of difficult things to face and think about but you sound in control, like you understand what it is and how it happens and why it's bad for you.  I absolutely hate competitiveness when it comes to life, it is so draining.  I came to learn very quickly that I was part of it before I had kids, like how successful I was defined me, because what else was there!?  Now I really don't care, I only look at others and think they're doing something right if they have a good balance, and killing yourself working doesn't bring that balance, nor does comparing whatever you do with your life to the next person, it's toxic isn't it?  Hope back to work is good and a nice balance for you!!!

remote_control

Hi Crunchy, Just one thing I thought of when reading your post, I read about how we all need to up our incidental exercise in order to stay healthy so one suggestion for meeting up with friends or for dates etc is to go for a walk rather than a coffee. I know that will be hard in the evenings as it gets dark but it is free!