Wise to own house jointly with my partner?

johnshaw1243

Hi,
I feel bad for even asking this question but I am about to buy a family home later this year with a large mortgage which will be very burdensome and I'm concerned as to whether it is a good idea to put my partner's name on the deeds as well?

Brief background - I am male, age 39 and currently rent with my partner (we are not married) whom I live with and have a 2-year old child with.  She is a full-time mum which is a bloody hard job but she has no monetary income at all.  

From discussions with my partner, she is keen to be on the house title deeds; naturally this comes from wanting to love and feel part of the new house and participate in capital appreciation whilst working hard to maintain it.  It must probably also be said (somewhat morbidly) that whilst she has no income, she will likely come into possession of a large chunk of inherited money at some point in the future which she has stated she'd like to put into the house and I have no doubt she would do this to help pay it off and/or upgrade it (especially if she was a co-owner legally). 

I don't anticipate our relationship breaking down in the near future (no-one ever does I suppose!) but as I am currently the sole earner for this house purchase/mortgage, the whole financial burden at present falls to me and therefore I can't help thinking that if the worst-case scenario happened (i.e. we broke up), then having a jointly owned house (with a young child involved) would make things very complicated and I might well feel resentful if I'm the only one of us paying it off and I can't sell without her permission etc. 

Part of me also wonders though that if we have a child together, then does it even matter if my name is the only one on the title deeds?  Would my partner (given a child involved) automatically be given the house anyway in the event of a break-up or is that only likely if we were married?

Is it even possible to start out with just my name on the deeds and then add hers later if she does manage to contribute a substantial amount financially at a future point or if we do get married?

Just want to try and make sense of the reality of things by playing devil's advocate and trying to imagine the glass half-empty for a while. 

Any advice is much appreciated.

Thanks

John

FtbDreaming

I dont know the legalities. I am the only earner in our house with 3 children. My partner does the childcare whilst i work. I am buying the house in my name only simply because he has no income. He has and will contribute a lot with regards to home improvements and enabling me to work by having the kids. However, as he has no income it seems silly to financially tie myself to him when he is unable to contribute. The house is still our family home even if it is just in my name and it is for the children to live in rather than either of us to benefit from. 

johnshaw1243

Good advice Ftb, thanks for sharing your insights.

xylophone

Brief background - I am male, age 39 and currently rent with my partner (we are not married) 

At the moment, although you are unmarried, you have a child for whom you are responsible.

Presumably you have agreed with your partner that for the moment at least, she should not work outside the home so that she can take care of him.

Therefore one hopes that you have made a will in their favour, have life insurance and (assuming that you have a pension) have completed a form of nomination in favour of  your partner and your child.

If you should die intestate, see 

https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

Has your partner made a will? Does she have life insurance?  Has a guardian been named for your child in the event that the worst should happen?

AdrianC

It comes down to whether the lender are happy to put her on the mortgage. If they aren't, then it isn't.

Remember, too, that being on the mortgage makes her legally liable for the full debt, just the same as it does you.

Given that you're unmarried, but have a child and are buying together, it may be worth considering the entirety of your joint finances in case you split in the future. No, there won't be a divorce settlement (and even if there was, she wouldn't "be given the house" automatically anyway), but there will be child maintenance to consider. You are, I'm sure, the type of person who would stand by their obligations and not make life difficult for your ex... So why not formalise it up front?

[Deleted User]

Having a child together does not mean your partner would get the house in the event of a relationship breakdown.  As sole owner you can easily show her the door.  I'm not sure I agree with the approach you and @FtbDreaming are taking.  Your partners are contributing towards the household by taking on the lion's share of the child care allowing you to earn what you do whilst spending nothing on nurseries and child minders.  Not only are your partners not earning an income or being allowed on the deeds but whilst being SAHP neither are getting to contribute towards pension funds either.  Doesn't really seem particularly fair to give up so much security in return to live in someone else's house.

greatcrested

If you were married, any divorce settlement would look at the entirety of the family assets (propery, savings, pensions etc) and how they should be divided. Yes,length of marriage would be considered as well as who brought what to the marrige, though the longer the marriage the less that would matter. The settlement would alsolook at the interests of the child.Who would have custody and where would they live, so it might be decided that the child should stay in the family home with the mother, for example.

The fact that you are not maried means all that formal review and determination would not apply, making for potential issues. By the very nature of split-ups, disagreements can easily arise and escalate, so it can be helpful to have a fair agreement drawn up in advance whilst relations are good.

Putting aside the issue of whether lenders would be less inclined to lend if your partner is included (unlikely so long as your combined income is sufficient and neither have any adverse credit records), you need to decide if your priority is

* to protect yourself financially from the potentially grasping ex you are splitting from or

* to ensure a fair future for yourself and the partner you love and are sharing your life and child with

If the latter, buy a family home jointly. But perhaps consider doing so as Tenants In Common rather than Joint Tenants, with ownership split, say, 75/25% (or whatever). If so, make sure you write a will!

FtbDreaming

Lover_of_Lycra said:

Having a child together does not mean your partner would get the house in the event of a relationship breakdown.  As sole owner you can easily show her the door.  I'm not sure I agree with the approach you and @FtbDreaming are taking.  Your partners are contributing towards the household by taking on the lion's share of the child care allowing you to earn what you do whilst spending nothing on nurseries and child minders.  Not only are your partners not earning an income or being allowed on the deeds but whilst being SAHP neither are getting to contribute towards pension funds either.  Doesn't really seem particularly fair to give up so much security in return to live in someone else's house.

My partner doesn't work out of choice not necessity. If he got a job tomorrow we would work around each other. Please don't make out he is locked up against his will and financially abused!  

Its stressful enough being the only earner for a family of 5 having to provide for everything. 

Getting_greyer

Maybe a different take.  I'm sole wage earner in our family, has been like that for years.  My wife has done years of unpaid domestic labour supporting the family.  All the deposit comes from my wages but I cant think of a good reason why I wouldn't share it with her 50/50. 

Just to add we had no savings when we first met.  I can see how if you had that may alter your pov.

johnshaw1243

All great comments folks and certainly food for thought.
Thank you all for taking the time to share your advice.  I think it will help me.
Best Wishes
John

bucksbloke

You are either a family or you are not. You love this person enough to have brought a child into the world, so why would you not put her name down. If you were to die, your partner and child could be left without a home.