Had a really bad year, SOA, please be gentle

EimearF

honeybee1234 said:

Thankyou all. I was so upset when I read the PIP letter. There's a number of inaccuracies that have clearly prohibited me from scoring points where I believe I should have. Another major issue is that I've been assessed on several aspects on how I came across on that day, when a major part of my mental health is that my mood fluctuates from hour to hour, and day to day quite extremely, and therefore affects many different aspects of my life. I have major panic attacks and barely go out on my own, certainly never alone to an unfamiliar place. I explained I was anxious that day, yet apparently that doesn't matter because I presented as calm, and they decided I can do activities most of the time that I certain cannot. The frustration is immense. 

The system is ridiculous they are acting as if someone how has been on a two week assessment course can assess you better than a doctor who sees you regularly and has already said you cant work! 
A former nurse saw my mother in law and she was treated fairly but it seems luck of the draw

honeybee1234

EimearF said:

honeybee1234 said:

Thankyou all. I was so upset when I read the PIP letter. There's a number of inaccuracies that have clearly prohibited me from scoring points where I believe I should have. Another major issue is that I've been assessed on several aspects on how I came across on that day, when a major part of my mental health is that my mood fluctuates from hour to hour, and day to day quite extremely, and therefore affects many different aspects of my life. I have major panic attacks and barely go out on my own, certainly never alone to an unfamiliar place. I explained I was anxious that day, yet apparently that doesn't matter because I presented as calm, and they decided I can do activities most of the time that I certain cannot. The frustration is immense. 

The system is ridiculous they are acting as if someone how has been on a two week assessment course can assess you better than a doctor who sees you regularly and has already said you cant work! 
A former nurse saw my mother in law and she was treated fairly but it seems luck of the draw

Agree. I honestly believe a letter from my psychiatrist could make a huge difference as she knows me well, particularly surrounding aspects of the PIP assessment. She'd definitely raise an eyebrow at the statement "you are compliant with your medications" ☺️ Sorry as I know that sounds flippant but I outlined this at assessment and it says it in one of my psych letters, I have great difficulty adhering to meds and need support, we've spent chunks of appointments trying to sort out my meds, she calls me to check how I'm doing with new meds... Yet I'm "compliant". No. So much no.

I think it's hard for someone who doesn't know me or the specific mental health issues I have to comprehend why certain things are an issue.

It's good your mother in law had a good experience, I'm pleased she was all right with her assessment 🙂

ryanm8655

Sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time but well done for coming here and seeking to do something about it.

You’ve received lots of great advice so I won’t weigh in too much but will be following.

Is the car in your name or your ex partners? Should they not be paying for the kids mobile phones?

You seem like a good hearted person but I also get the impression people take advantage. You need to focus on yourself rather than helping out others who don’t seem to help you that much.

Sorry to hear about the break up and the PIP outcome. 

EimearF

honeybee1234 said:

Agree. I honestly believe a letter from my psychiatrist could make a huge difference as she knows me well, particularly surrounding aspects of the PIP assessment. She'd definitely raise an eyebrow at the statement "you are compliant with your medications" ☺️ Sorry as I know that sounds flippant but I outlined this at assessment and it says it in one of my psych letters, I have great difficulty adhering to meds and need support, we've spent chunks of appointments trying to sort out my meds, she calls me to check how I'm doing with new meds... Yet I'm "compliant". No. So much no.

I think it's hard for someone who doesn't know me or the specific mental health issues I have to comprehend why certain things are an issue.

It's good your mother in law had a good experience, I'm pleased she was all right with her assessment 🙂

Hopefully your psychologist can help you with your appeal. As I said success rates are very high on appeal so dont lose hope.  
Its such a  stressful process. My mother in law was so stressed it made her back issues worse and she was actually bed bound completely when they came. 

honeybee1234

ryanm8655 said:

Sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time but well done for coming here and seeking to do something about it.

You’ve received lots of great advice so I won’t weigh in too much but will be following.

Is the car in your name or your ex partners? Should they not be paying for the kids mobile phones?

You seem like a good hearted person but I also get the impression people take advantage. You need to focus on yourself rather than helping out others who don’t seem to help you that much.

Sorry to hear about the break up and the PIP outcome. 

The car is in my ex's name.

I only pay for one of the children's phones. It was my present for Christmas, the phone is bought outright, it's a pay monthly SIM. They're at the age we agreed they could have a phone, and as I'm not with them, I wanted them to have the phone so I can contact them directly. 

You're completely correct by the way ☺️ It's been a lifelong issue. I'm way too nice. It's contributed massively to my mental health issues. I'm focusing on me now - I have to. 

honeybee1234

EimearF said:

honeybee1234 said:

Agree. I honestly believe a letter from my psychiatrist could make a huge difference as she knows me well, particularly surrounding aspects of the PIP assessment. She'd definitely raise an eyebrow at the statement "you are compliant with your medications" ☺️ Sorry as I know that sounds flippant but I outlined this at assessment and it says it in one of my psych letters, I have great difficulty adhering to meds and need support, we've spent chunks of appointments trying to sort out my meds, she calls me to check how I'm doing with new meds... Yet I'm "compliant". No. So much no.

I think it's hard for someone who doesn't know me or the specific mental health issues I have to comprehend why certain things are an issue.

It's good your mother in law had a good experience, I'm pleased she was all right with her assessment 🙂

Hopefully your psychologist can help you with your appeal. As I said success rates are very high on appeal so dont lose hope.  
Its such a  stressful process. My mother in law was so stressed it made her back issues worse and she was actually bed bound completely when they came. 

I'm so stressed about it. 

EimearF

@honeybee1234 its such a bad time to try and get anything sorted. I really feel for you, its such a stressful time as it is nevermind the extra things you have to deal with. *Hugs* 
Focus on paying for food, utilities, rent, and your car. Everything else can wait right now.  

honeybee1234

EimearF said:

@honeybee1234 its such a bad time to try and get anything sorted. I really feel for you, its such a stressful time as it is nevermind the extra things you have to deal with. *Hugs* 
Focus on paying for food, utilities, rent, and your car. Everything else can wait right now.  

EimearF, this has been my priority. I'm around £153 short this month after some playing around with my figures. This is with a modest amount for food and a token amount of petrol. Nearly all of my bills have come out now bar my Virgin, who I realised after everything else I have been dealing with, haven't responded after I messaged them so that's on my list of things to do. My only thought is to extend my overdraft to cover everything. It's 3.45am and I'm very tired so I hope this sounds logical! 🤔 

It's now the smaller debt payments that are due in a couple of weeks, the ones I haven't negotiated about.

My now-ex has been in contact a lot today just to chat. That was fine but we had an argument in the evening. He was pretty insensitive and nasty, then claiming I'm twisting things. It's what he does, says nasty things then says it's me that's twisting things, I'm being too sensitive, that's not what he said, he meant it in a different way, etc, etc. He then tells mutual friends/people that I'm manipulative, and blocks me on everything until he decides I'm worthy of talking to again. It seems like he thinks now we're not together he can say what he wants and not get called out on it because we're "just friends now." It's his continuation of months of emotional abuse and whilst I hate the conflict, I'm pleased he's blocked me so I don't have to deal with his issues 😔

The crisis team have been really supportive while I'm struggling. I'm so thankful for their help 🙂

KxMx

When he starts talking to you again... Block him your end. 
That way you won't be bothered by him unless you need to or want to speak to him. Take control! 

ryanm8655

honeybee1234 said:

ryanm8655 said:

Sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time but well done for coming here and seeking to do something about it.

You’ve received lots of great advice so I won’t weigh in too much but will be following.

Is the car in your name or your ex partners? Should they not be paying for the kids mobile phones?

You seem like a good hearted person but I also get the impression people take advantage. You need to focus on yourself rather than helping out others who don’t seem to help you that much.

Sorry to hear about the break up and the PIP outcome. 

The car is in my ex's name.

I only pay for one of the children's phones. It was my present for Christmas, the phone is bought outright, it's a pay monthly SIM. They're at the age we agreed they could have a phone, and as I'm not with them, I wanted them to have the phone so I can contact them directly. 

You're completely correct by the way ☺️ It's been a lifelong issue. I'm way too nice. It's contributed massively to my mental health issues. I'm focusing on me now - I have to. 

Re: the car - is it not his debt then? 
Re: the phone that's fair enough. Assume your partner is unwilling to pay?
While it's difficult cutting ties with an ex when you have kids, I certainly wouldn't be acting as their emotional crux/someone to abuse over the phone. But I'm sure you know this. I get the impression they've been controlling and abusive in the past and that's why you've left, so don't allow them to continue to do that where it can be avoided.
Did you supply your GP/Psychiatrists details on the PIP forms? It's really important that you are assessed based on your worst, so always answer questions based on that.