Loss of my dog and horse in days apart

berries

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this post.  My spaniel boy had cancer which was only diagnosed last month and was given a few weeks left to live. He gained his angel wings on Monday as I couldn't watch him suffer and loss his dignity as he was having accidents indoors which isnt him at all.
He passed peacefully at home and my other dog said her byes too. I'm absolutely devastated that his gone now. I keep reminding myself that he isn't in pain anymore.
Then weds morning my horse who was 28 years old came down with colic.  Hes never had colic over the 18 years of me owning him. 

Vet came in the morning and it look like a good progress  until later on.  Kept in contact with the vet though out the day   walked him around he looked like he was improving. Passed 3 lots of poos . No blockage. 
He even called out to one of his friends which I thought was a good sign. How wrong was I!! Vet came back out and his heart rate was higher than the morning and no gut noise.  We tried to tube him again and he had so much gas inside that it wasnt possible.
Vet wanted to refer him to the clinic he wasnt a great loaded or travelar. Due to pass bad experiences in a box.

I had to let my gorgeous boy go....

I dont know what to do with myself now.  Feel so losted and numb of losing both of my boys.  Who has been there for me though all my problems.  Mon would of been my mums 4th year of her passing Tuesday was my birthday and then wed night I lost my horse!!

I have cried so much weds and now I dont know what I'm feeling!!! Sorry for ramming on. 
Also had a arguement with my sister over my dog as was supposed to go to vist atbthe weekend couldn't leave him incase he went downhill etc. She said it's only a dog!! Havent heard from her since not even since losing my horse.

My life has been my horse and dog's as I dojt have children.  Feeling numb and heartbroken.  Completely lost too!! 
I keep going over the whole day . I had my phone on silently tues night so missed the calls from the yard.  A friend came to my house to wake me up.  

Had no idea how long he had colic over night or the morning.  Theres a lot of what ifs etc.

I knew that I wouldn't put him though any operations due to his age. He didn't look his age at all!! . 
My friends has been fantastic which I m so greatfull to have them. 

I'm waiting for it to hit me again as I dont know how to feel....

Mrs_Z

So sorry to hear.  I can only imagine what you must be going through right now.  That's the hardest part of having animals as companions, losing them.  We lost our dear cat in April 2019 and still I get days when I get tearful just thinking about her and just miss her.  She was so special. We have a pair of new cats who have filled the void but in a different way. It's never the same and I guess it should not be.  When you have animals for a long time, you get to know them and their personalities.  'Just missing the speech' is how my father once put it and I think he's so right. 
It does get better with time.  I don't think you'll ever get over losing them, but you learn to live with the loss - that's my take anyway.  At the end of the day, if you've given them a good home and love - you've done all you can and you should take comfort in that. Blessings.

GreenQueen

So sorry, that's an awful lot to cope with in a short time, and your mum's anniversary just adds to that. 

Don't dwell on the "what ifs", continue to be grateful for your friends (they are such a blessing) and look after yourself. You're obviously devastated and it won't get better straight away, but it will ease with time. Let yourself grieve, people who haven't had animals in their lives can't understand how real and deep the relationship is. I'm sure you've got some wonderful memories, and as Mrs_Z says, take comfort from all that you've done for them. 

Durban

I'm sorry 

hb2

I'm sorry, so much loss must be so very hard to bear   I know that the Blue Cross offer grief counselling for people who have lost their animal companions, please bear that in mind if you feel you need some help.

berries

Thank you all. It was my birthday tues too I don't do anything for it now. 38 now I did think I was 38 last year!! 

I have spoken to the vet yesterday as everything was a blur on weds.  She said that even if we did get him there the outcome would of been the same.  She couldn't tell me to put him down that had to come from me. 
I dont know how to feel ..one minute I'm crying loads then feel normal which then I get angry at myself as he was my world. 

Having losing both of my rocks I feel so losted! I do have another dog so trying to as normal as possible as she is a very sensitive girl who loved my other dog to bits.  
I'm going back to work tomorrow after having this week off . It was booked off already due to not being able to cope with loss of my mum.
I'm not looking forward to it then it will take my mind off it all well kind off until I get asked about my boy's!! 
I still havent heard from my sister which really hurts not even a text message etc. 

kazwookie

Get yourself down to the nearest dog rescue centre to you, and see if they have a rescue dog that may be suitable, and then take a week getting to know the dog.

Regards your sister, I have one like that, so I stuffed her out of my life for several years, she has only returned into it, via email over the last 6 months or so, and I have been so much better for it.

Sorry for your losses, chin up, hugs

Silvertabby

I'm so sorry.  Take care of yourself and your pup.

tealady

Hi
Dont cut your sister out of your life. People view animals differently, it doesn't mean that they dont care, sometimes they just dont understand.
By all means grieve for your beloved pets, there are helplines if you need someone to talk to.

mac.d

Whatever you do, don't be hard on yourself. It doesn't matter that some people like your sister simply don't get it with the loss of animals. What does matter is that both your dog & your horse meant a lot to you, and its only right that you give yourself time to grieve for them. Don't feel bad about being sad, angry or whatever, they are all natural reactions to grief. Work can help you take your mind of it a little, but you have every right to feel sad, lost, etc. 

TripleH

About 3 weeks ago our oldest cat woke up and lay on the floor completely lacking enthusiasm (even to hit the other 2). This lasted 2 days before she went to see the vet. I was worried sick, couldn't focus at work all day. Fortunately it turned out to be an arthritic flair up. The vet couldn't believe she was 15 (assumed 10). The sun has been shining in her newish home and the flair up is a distant memory but it has helped prompt me to enjoy her company and that of the other two for as long as possible.