Final Accounts - Funeral expenses from estate

Mackhie

I am now (finally) at the stage where I am doing the Final Accounts for my late Mum's estate, to be divided with the only other benefactor. namely my 'brother'.
I had posted elsewhere about issues I was having w.r.t. creditors and such-like, which have now been more or less resolved. Thanks to all those who helped.

One question I now have is - does the wake (hall rental, food and bar tab) and a memorial plaque count towards funeral expenses. I.e. can these be reclaimed out of her estate (as they were originally paid for out of my pocket). My brother has stated, several times, verbally and in writing, that he doesn't consider her as his mother (I won't repeat his exact words here), so I can understand if he doesn't want to contribute towards the plaque.

1 - Does the cost of the wake count as part of the funeral expenses with regards to dividing up the estate?

2 - Should he be expected to contribute towards the cost of the plaque (which is in the crematorium grounds).

xylophone

does the wake (hall rental, food and bar tab) and a memorial plaque count towards funeral expenses. I.e. can these be reclaimed out of her estate (as they were originally paid for out of my pocket).

 They are not your personal expenses but expenses of the estate and should be paid for  from estate funds.

SevenOfNine

Yes, all of it, with receipts, & he's not "contributing" to the plaque, the cost is met from estate funds.

Debts, all you have listed for the wake, plus the floral display on top of the coffin (we bought our own wreaths), burial rights for the cremation plot & a headstone, all from the estate funds. THEN the beneficiaries inherited from what was left.

Mackhie

SevenOfNine said:

Yes, all of it, with receipts, & he's not "contributing" to the plaque, the cost is met from estate funds.

Whatever the "proper" terms are. 'Contributing to',....'met from estate funds' whatever  I know you're all trying to help, but I just want this finalised, not become an expert on proper financial terminology. If I reclaim the cost, then yes, it will end up being 'met from estate funds'. A simple yes or no would have been more helpful.

SevenOfNine said:

Debts, all you have listed for the wake, plus the floral display on top of the coffin (we bought our own wreaths), burial rights for the cremation plot & a headstone, all from the estate funds. THEN the beneficiaries inherited from what was left.

I forgot to include the floral display. I don't have a receipt (it was done over the phone by debit card), only a listing on the bank statement.

Savvy_Sue

Anything you don't have a receipt for, you could (if you have to show receipts) just show a line on the bank or credit card statement. Do you think he is going to demand receipts? Personally I'd just have one heading: 'funeral expenses' and put everything under that. 

Whatever he feels about your mother, if he's willing to be a beneficiary, why should he query these expenses? 

Having said that, if you just want an end of it, and you think he will object to contributing to the plaque, you could pay for it yourself. 

What does the will actually say?

Mackhie

Savvy_Sue said:

Anything you don't have a receipt for, you could (if you have to show receipts) just show a line on the bank or credit card statement. Do you think he is going to demand receipts? Personally I'd just have one heading: 'funeral expenses' and put everything under that. 

Yes. Totally agree. I'll print out bank statements (all 'paperless' now) and blank out the bits that have nothing to do with him or the estate, if needs be.

Do I think he'll demand receipts? If you see my other thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6062690/at-my-wits-end/p1 you'd know that he seems to have made it his life's mission to screw me over any way possible for no apparent reason whatsoever. Seriously, I'm not kidding!

Savvy_Sue said:

Having said that, if you just want an end of it, and you think he will object to contributing to the plaque, you could pay for it yourself. 

To be honest, I'd rather just pay for it myself. At least then I'll know absolutely 110% for sure. I just want to give him the opportunity to accept or refuse to pay his share (by whatever means). I'll text him (the only means of communication I have with him, other than writing, there's a court order stopping him from coming anywhere near me or my house) and see what he says (though his response will undoubtedly be accompanied by more verbal abuse).

Savvy_Sue said:

What does the will actually say?

No will. She was intestate and insolvent.

Savvy_Sue

I haven't completely re-read your earlier thread but I do remember it now. Just if she was insolvent, then there would have been nothing to share with him. And clearly you managed to sort things out so that there WAS some sort of legacy. And the cost of a plaque might be a significant % of that. 

I'd probably go for the 'quiet life' option, myself. 

Robin9

The plaque is not a legitimate funeral expense   - just pay for it yourself

Mackhie

Savvy_Sue said:

I'd probably go for the 'quiet life' option, myself. 

He-he. No chance of that.
I'll double check with a solicitor (and send the text like I said, at least then he can;t say I never gave him the opportunity to make his peace). I'll probably end up paying for the plaque, doesn't bother me.

What about the wake though? Is that considered standard funeral expense?

McKneff

Yes, the wake is part of the funeral expenes....

Mackhie

xylophone said:

 They are not your personal expenses but expenses of the estate and should be paid for  from estate funds.

McKneff said:

Yes, the wake is part of the funeral expenes....

Robin9 said:

The plaque is not a legitimate funeral expense   - just pay for it yourself

Thanks all  So far, I'm running with the wake being a funeral expense, but the plaque isn't (which is kind of what I suspected but want to confirm).

Any one of you care to maybe give some reference or a link to some website with  some really useful advice pertaining to this matter? That would be most helpful.