Protect my assets before marriage

Theydontmakeiteasytosave£

My other half has said he wants to sign something to protect the substantial amount of equity I have accrued in my home.  We are due to marry soon.  The romantic side of me is hopeful to live happily ever after.  The realistic side of me knows so many marriages end in divorce.  So how do I go about financially protecting the equity I have accumulated over the years before marriage? 

MovingForwards

Don't get married and don't live together, is the only way.

Pre-nups are not really recognised in law in the UK.

TBagpuss

Get a pre-nup.
MovingForwards statement that "Pre-nups are not really recognised in law in the UK" isn't entirely correct.

The position is that there is no statutory law around pre-nups. However, they are taken into account by courts and are useful for other reasons:
1. In order to have a pre-nup, you need, as a couple, to agree on what you think should happen, financially, were you to divorce. Having those conversations can help ensure that you have similar assumptions and expectations about how financial issues will work, and can help reduce the risk of disagreements later. (or alternatively, let you identify early on that you have deep differences, and let you decide whether marriage at this time is a good idea!) 
2. in the event that you were to separate, you are free to agree whatever you want in terms of financial arrangements. A court only gets involved if you can't agree. If you have a pre-existing agreement in place, then you have at the very least, a starting point for discussions, and in a lot of cases will be able to accept that yes, you have an agreement and you should keep to it. So you are more likely to be able to either settle things by agreement, or narrow down the issues and only argue over the things that were not covered in your pre-nup.
3. If you separate and can't agree, so a court is involved, then the Judge's job is tp come up with an order which is fair to yu both, taking into account all the relevant circumstances. One of the specific things they can consider is any prior agreement between the two of you. A pre-nup is a prior agreement .
The approach the courts take is that thy start by looking at the agreement to check they are happy you both had advice about it before you signed, you both disclosed your financial position and it wasn't so close to the date of the wedding that either of you was at risk of having been pressured to sign by being threatened with being jilted at the alter if you don't sign! . If they are happy on those grounds, they will then start from the position of "You agreed to this and explicitly said you wanted it to be binding on you if you eve got divorced. Explain to me why it would be fair to let you go back on your agreement?" So instead of the Judge starting with an assumption that everything should be split 50/50, and being open to being convinced that needs to be adjusted to achieve a fair outcome, they will start from the assumption that you do what it says in the pre-nup, but are open to being convinced that it needs to be adjusted to be fair.

Finally, pre-nups do carry less and less weight the longer you are married for, and the more changes there are - so if you get married, but divorced in 2 years time, it would probably be followed pretty much completely. If you were married and split up after 12 years, 3 children and a dog, then it is far more likely that the Judge will decide that there are reasons to deviate from it, to take account of the effects of those changes and new responsibilities. 
For this reason, it can be a good idea to review the pre-nup periodically - say every three to 5 years, and in the event of any significant changes such as inheritance, birth of children etc, and update it as necessary so it is always currant (or alternatively accept that it is primarily there to protect you if things go pear shaped early in the marriage, and that over time it will be less and and less relevant. 

talk to a solicitor, and talk to your partner. it isn't perfect, but it is a lot better than nothing! 

onwards&upwards

Don’t get married if you don’t want to share your stuff.

Its not compulsory if you’d rather not.

BrassicWoman

Is this your partner/ situation? 

Might be worth a read of the threads anyway.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6086144/entitled-to-a-share-of-marital-home/p1

Theydontmakeiteasytosave£

Thanks. Having witnessed people going through divorce and some that have ended up in bankruptcy I am sensibly thinking of the "what ifs" if s@#t were to hit the fan.  He has a good monthly wage but brings no other assets.  I've paid 40% of my mortgage and paid for all the external and internal upgrades before meeting my now fiance and currently pay all the bills as he is paying other commitments and clearing debts.  I am generous, as is he, but I also don't want to find myself in a situation where shortly after marriage have to sell my family home and split over £60K 50/50. 
We'll arrange to speak with a solicitor.

74jax

Theydontmakeiteasytosave£ said:

Thanks. Having witnessed people going through divorce and some that have ended up in bankruptcy I am sensibly thinking of the "what ifs" if s@#t were to hit the fan.  He has a good monthly wage but brings no other assets.  I've paid 40% of my mortgage and paid for all the external and internal upgrades before meeting my now fiance and currently pay all the bills as he is paying other commitments and clearing debts.  I am generous, as is he, but I also don't want to find myself in a situation where shortly after marriage have to sell my family home and split over £60K 50/50. 
We'll arrange to speak with a solicitor.

We have a pre nup - you'll both need to see separate solicitors for separate advice, even though you both want the same thing - a very simple thing to get wrong and then the pre-nup won't even be considered (it stands a 'chance' if you do everything correctly, but ziltch if the slightest thing is wrong). 

onwards&upwards

Theydontmakeiteasytosave£ said:

Thanks. Having witnessed people going through divorce and some that have ended up in bankruptcy I am sensibly thinking of the "what ifs" if s@#t were to hit the fan.  He has a good monthly wage but brings no other assets.  I've paid 40% of my mortgage and paid for all the external and internal upgrades before meeting my now fiance and currently pay all the bills as he is paying other commitments and clearing debts.  I am generous, as is he, but I also don't want to find myself in a situation where shortly after marriage have to sell my family home and split over £60K 50/50. 
We'll arrange to speak with a solicitor.

So my question is, why do you want to get married?  Are you sure it’s right for you?

goodwithsaving

onwards&upwards said:

Don’t get married if you don’t want to share your stuff.

Its not compulsory if you’d rather not.

It's not about not sharing. It's about protecting what you've worked for or inherited should it all go wrong.

I'd share my stuff with someone, but would want my assets protected too. We buy insurance every day without batting an eyelid. This is an insurance policy.

onwards&upwards

goodwithsaving said:

onwards&upwards said:

Don’t get married if you don’t want to share your stuff.

Its not compulsory if you’d rather not.

It's not about not sharing. It's about protecting what you've worked for or inherited should it all go wrong.

I'd share my stuff with someone, but would want my assets protected too. We buy insurance every day without batting an eyelid. This is an insurance policy.

But getting married is a choice, if you don’t like the terms and conditions you don’t have to do it!  

LilElvis

onwards&upwards said:

goodwithsaving said:

onwards&upwards said:

Don’t get married if you don’t want to share your stuff.

Its not compulsory if you’d rather not.

It's not about not sharing. It's about protecting what you've worked for or inherited should it all go wrong.

I'd share my stuff with someone, but would want my assets protected too. We buy insurance every day without batting an eyelid. This is an insurance policy.

But getting married is a choice, if you don’t like the terms and conditions you don’t have to do it!  

But even the "terms and conditions" acknowledge that in a short lived marriage that the two parties should be put back in the same position they were in, financially, before the marriage. If both parties agree to a prenuptial agreement then I don't see that it shows any lack of commitment - if anything it demonstrates that they've thought long and hard about what they are entering into, which is more than can be said for many who just treat it as an excuse for an elaborate celebration with no thought about the ramifications.