Son being bullied at school, now we have an appeal for new better but full school, help please

happyhero

Hi we are trying to move our son to a better school and have been told the school is full that we wanted him to go to, however my wife appealed and we have been granted an appeal hearing.

Basically the school he is in has been going downhill with their official ratings backing this up. He gets bullied by one particular group. He did initially make friends with the group. He told us it was easier to be friends with them than enemies but his behaviour sunk as he entertained them and so his work has suffered. Every time he breaks with them his work improves very quickly but before long they real him in again and then eventually dump him and torment him. Once out of the group his work improves again but he gets depressed as he has no friends. The reason for this is that the bullies warn off any friend he tries to make so that the new potential friend tells him although they like him they can’t be friends with him as they don’t want to suffer the same fate.

This has repeated so many times by now as he has been there over 2 years so we are trying to move schools. He has just become friends with the bullies again frustratingly and his work and attitude has suffered but perhaps surprisingly he has said it’s easier to ride the time out as their friends but he wants to move as quickly as possible.

There are a few schools in the area but one stands out and we feel this school would be the best able to manage our son and get the best out of him. We want the best we can get for our son and so do not want to settle for a second choice school. The school we have selected excels above the second choices. He needs some help now as the current school has damaged his self esteem after such a long time being fed negative ideas that he is ugly and stupid and told that no one wants him as a friend. We have been back and forth to his current school asking for help or complaining and every time they tell us what they think we need to hear but in reality nothing much changes. He can’t even go to the toilet as the other boys kick the doors in so now he won’t eat or drink at school so that he doesn’t need the toilet. We give him packed lunches he won’t eat them. He says the teachers have lost control there. He sees bigger kids take the younger kids bags and dinners and empty it all out and stamp on it, etc. etc. etc. We don’t believe he will come out of that school with any decent qualifications now, we need to get him out.

So we’ve been give an appeal hearing when we’ve been told the school is full, why is that? Does it mean there is a possibility?

What can we say, we need some help here? How do you appeal against “We’re full”?

Can anybody guide us with what we should do/say to fight this and get him into this good school?

Obviously they are full, they are one of the best around in our area.

Help please.

 

Savvy_Sue

Presumably this is secondary. They can exceed their PAN. You need to concentrate on why this is the right school, not why his current school is wrong.

Are there other acceptable options which are not full?

happyhero

Savvy_Sue said:

Presumably this is secondary. They can exceed their PAN. You need to concentrate on why this is the right school, not why his current school is wrong.

Are there other acceptable options which are not full?

Yes it is secondary, sorry forgot to mention. Yes there are other schools in the area but the one we are after is exceptional and we feel best equipped to help our son back to normality. The school he is in is a bit rough whereas our son is quite gentle or soft in comparison (difficult to explain without making him seem too soft). We feel the new school has a better calibre of child (not rough and nicer boys). Our son does do well in the right enviroment, he's reasonably clever but its wasted when he mixes with the wrong people. I think most people will want to get there child into the best possible school before they would consider the next choice down to try and get them the best future possible hence our actions.

Mrsn

By law they have to offer the right for you to appeal the decision. It’s rather frustrating to offer that option when in reality it is bloody tough to win an appeal! 

Without meaning to sound harsh you are going to need a better reason than the school he’s in now is rough. As Savvy Sue has said you need to emphasise why he needs a place at the school you wish to transfer him too. Explain clearly how and why the new school will meet his needs going forwards. Everything you wish to say to help your case should be relevant to the new school only.

Good luck

Savvy_Sue

Yes we all want the best, but while preparing for appeal I'd personally still look at acceptable alternatives. 

Because it's worth pointing out that even the best school WILL have children who are able to lead your son astray, so it's never a case of "X school is perfect, anything else would be a disaster."

If the current school isn't right, it's always worth looking at ALL the alternatives. 

Fireflyaway

Secondary schools can except pupils over and above certain numbers. I used to work in school admissions and one of the most helpful things for parents to have was some professional evidence. A report from a GP , psychologist or social worker etc stating why in their opinion the child should be given a place at a certain school. If the child has health, educational or emotional needs that can be met better at the other school it helps to back it up. What your child is experiencing sounds awful. I'd actually be tempted to report the incidents to the council's safeguard team and even the police. Secondary school kids know it's wrong and if they did similar stuff in the community they could be arrested.