Please help

-taff

If you want to go on a DMP then get in touch with stepchange, or payplan or CAP. You won't lose your home because none of your debts are secured against it [ are they? ] You probably are looking at a debt remedy of some kind though, a DMP will mean you will default on your payments so credit in the future will be hard to get for a few years, but it won't affect your house as long as you can pay the mortgage. The mortgage and council tax are priority bills, so never stop paying those. The rest can be added to a DMP. You can default on yuor payments and start saving money towards an emergency fund.

If hes at home, you could give him some tasks to do that may help him focus on something, like batch cooking, like grocery spending, go to the od style board for help with those.

On_my_way

As you already have a house with a mortgage it is really important that you safeguard this - an IVA could cause you problems if you needed to change your mortgage in the next few years- someone else might be able to help you with that here.
You can cancel all direct debits and write to all creditors explaining the situation and that you need to offer token £1 per month payments for now. Although this will impact your credit rating you might not have much choice right now and will not lead to you losing your house as long as you keep up with your mortgage payments.
**you need to make absolutely sure that you really really really trim your budget and especially the massive grocery bill. If you offer token payments you could put aside an emergency fund to help you out in the future while you attack the debts. 
Has your partner seen their GP for help? 
You can both work on this - check out Dave Ramsey- he will help a lot but it will take quite a while for you to pay this stuff back but the snowball effect will help a lot and as long as you keep up with all mortgage payments you can sort everything else out. 
It might not be easy but it will be worth it. 
*Holiday and entertainment budgets can also be cut

Sugar1990

Hi thank you
yes thats a great idea.
my loans are not secured no, what would happen if some
of the creditors doesn't agree to this, so scared of losing my home

DrEskimo

Sugar1990 said:

Hi he is  on carers allowance for our son and he's a stay home father.
we have it pretty rough at home and he is sevely depressed.
he had to give up is job off 12 years because of this.
Should i offer token payments to creditors for now.

Very sorry to hear that.

I would love to be able to offer more advice, but unfortunately I am not well positioned to do that. However there are many members on here that can, and they will be invaluable at describing your options and signposting you and your partner to associations and charities that may be able to help you further.

I wish you and you family all the best and hope you are able to come up with a plan to help you get a better handle on your finances. This forum is full of great resources for things like energy deals, meal preparation and dealing with creditors. I also sincerely hope your partner is getting the support he needs for his mental well-being.

On_my_way

The only creditor that can make you lose your home is the mortgage lender. That is why it is absolutely essential to make sure that they get their money on time every single month - never pay late etc. 
I think there are draft letters on this site that you can use to write to your creditors- if you are going to cancel direct debits I would do it immediately so that you can start to act on everything from your next pay date. 

Sugar1990

Thank you for lovely helpful comments.
The food budget yes could be cut a think
but this does included nappies with is like 12 nappies a day
cleaning stuff etc

My mobiles are high but sadly still contracted,

ZaSa1418

Agree that groceries can be cut, we are a family of 6 and we have cut our budget to £325 a month including nappies, cleaning stuff, cat food etc and i plan to cut this down even more.

Where do you shop?

Sugar1990

Aldi  was a rough estimate not 100% sure how much i spend tbh

Bookgal88

As another poster mentioned, the only thing that could cause you to lose your home is not paying the mortgage. This is number one priority. The good news is, you can easily make this payment every month from your income. So take a deep breath and remember this if you're feeling overwhelmed. 

Is your car essential? Do you have access to public transport that you could use instead? 

You don't need a holiday budget. And I would try to also cut out the presents budget. Just have a quiet word with people and let them know that you can't afford this at the moment / don't feel obligated to give gifts. 

Sugar1990

Hi yes the car is essential unfortunately.
The gift things is very hard to some
people
to understand, specially when people by our kids things your kinda obliged to return the favour.  So far i have not missed no payment off any debts but next month will be the first time
were we have run out of money.
So do i just pay all the creditors the same token payment.
Im so worried they will make us bankcrupt
especially eiclly the larger loan, as its only a year old