Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay to receive my own wedding gift?

gerrag

How does the Customs charge of £55 compare to the financial and/or emotional value of gift??
Only you and your relative can establish whether it's worth paying £55 to take ownership.

mickthepilot

Roughly the goods are worth £175. Add on 10% duty, then 20% VAT (yes tax on a tax) and that is roughly the £55, however, if Royal Mail, then they charge to "collect" the taxes. It was £8 a while ago. I think it's a bit ignorant of the sender to assume there would be no duties to pay. Could you contact the sender and get the parcel company to return, so they could send you something else, maybe when they see you next?

Mouseboy007

"I've been sent a wedding gift from a relative overseas, but there's a £55 charge I need to pay before customs will release it. I'm on maternity leave and an extremely tight budget, and the charge will put me into debt. But if I don't pay and get the gift, I know my relative will be offended"

You could literally rephrase the question to the the sender and have them answer it for you:

"I've received your wedding gift from a relative overseas, but there's a £55 charge I need to pay before customs will release it. As you know, I'm on maternity leave and have an extremely tight budget. The charge will put me into debt. However, I don't want to offend you by not receiving the gift - what are your thoughts?"

OctaviaP

Am quite startled by some of the comments on here saying 'well you clearly can't afford to get married or have children'. Not pleasant, or helpful. 
I agree with those who've suggested asking family for a bit of help - I've been in your position and maternity leave is a very tight time, especially if you're looking at going back to work and nursery fees etc. 

JPS

They sent the gift, they should have checked what the customs charges would have been for such an expensive gift - lovely of them to send it but not so lovely to be hit with this bill. Just go back to your relative and explain this has happened.
If it was a fiver or a tenner, fair enough, but not £55.

Flipflop13

Some comments about the financial situation are stupid, I got married then went on maternity 5 months later, I had a decent sized wedding and have a good wage but I still wouldn’t spend £55 on picking up a gift. The poster may have set aside funds for childcare, classes, a family holiday etc. already and this extra charge isn’t feasible.
I think a conversation needs to be had with the relative, did they not ask what you would like as a gift, most now do that before the wedding as couples already live together and you might have found something baby related more useful! 

I don’t know how it works but if customs wasn’t paid and the senders details were on the package, would it return to them?
For future reference tell the relative the best thing to do for overseas gifts is log on to a website in the receivers country for example Amazon.co.uk and buy and ship direct from the site. We’ve had loads of presents from a friend in Australia that are actually not sent from there at all.

mazmar59

I have to agree with OctaviaP, about how judgemental some of the comments are here. I don't visit the forum discussions often and haven't actually posted a comment before but found this quite disconcerting …. I didn't expect it, afterall, this isn't twitter, facebook or whatever social media platform includes trolls; people are asking for genuine comments to help them see other perspectives. In this issue, I don't think there is an easy solution and well done to those who offered constructive comments and experience. Be kind people, it's just as easy as being 'not kind' but a lot better for those on the receiving end and yourself!!! Have a good day ….

jackbracken

This could be quite simple.  If the expense of £55 is going to put this person in debt before the marriage, then maybe, just maybe, the time has come to readjust their priorities regarding getting married in the first place.

darkeyes_2

Incredibly strange thing happened to me.  I got a watch shipped from overseas.  I had a text informing me that there would be a customs charge, but the next day, the watch arrived regardless.

I later got an invoice from the shipping company for the duty.

Be thankful that you at least have the right to refuse - I didn't!

pixiebel81

jackbracken said:

This could be quite simple.  If the expense of £55 is going to put this person in debt before the marriage, then maybe, just maybe, the time has come to readjust their priorities regarding getting married in the first place.

There's nothing in the post to suggest they had a big extravagant wedding, how do you know that they didn't just go down to the registry office and get married for a couple of hundred quid?