Ex claiming CSA and no contact with child please help

Zara33

Strapped wrote: »

Troll, perhaps?

I actually think he's genuine he's confused and is venting his frustration but he needs to think about things very carefully or he could possibly make a huge mistake.

Voyager2002

1979 wrote: »

Last year I saw my ex and child at a religous do, I spoke very politely but she started swearing at me and then her uncles started to threaten me. I filed a report with the Police but I requested not to take any action.

None of her relatives are willing to listen so i have no chance in communication.


I cant get tout of the UK yet as my wife has just had a baby and Ive got a new job. I will get more money now from my new job. Is this right that if I dont let CSA know of my increase in wage then the amounts will stay as they are. As CSA are taking direct debit from me anyway.

Can't CSA chase me if I moved out of the country from my NI Card and demand payments there. This could be directed from a court in the UK to a court in the new country.

Several points here:

It is clear that the emotions between your ex-wife and yourself mean that face to face discussion with her is not going to work. Equally, she should not be present at any meetings with your son, although someone that he knows and that she trusts certainly should be there.

In a difficult situation such as you describe, I am not surprised that her family took her side and responded to her emotional behaviour. That does not necessarily mean that they would be completely unhelpful and unfriendly if you were to meet them and talk privately. Again, you mention attending a religious event: perhaps the Imam, priest or whatever would be willing to discuss things with her.

As for the money, check your assessment, and also check whether you are obliged to tell the CSA if your income increases. Obviously they will not change anything if they don't know about any changes in your circumstances.

And no, as a matter of policy the CSA do not pursue anyone who is outside the UK, nor do any debts build up while that parent is abroad. However, if your life is in the UK then it is not really worth considering moving away.

nej

My wife's ex was paying about £100 per month towards his daughter (my step-daughter). When he got remarried and had another baby, he asked to be reassessed and his payments went down to nil. I'd ask to be reassessed with the new baby to take into account. The new baby needs things just as much as your son!

Contact is harder... I have no advice here, except to keep at it and do it the proper way.

Vomityspice

My advice is to make an application for a Sec. 8 Contact Order (Children Act 1989) yourself! What have you got to lose? You don't need a Solicitor to do this! The paperwork is available form the Court or electronically. The cost to submit an application (it's been a while!) should be no more than £300. As long as the child is based in your area then you will be sent a date to attend. If the child is in another area then your Ex can ask to have the case transfered to their local court. On the day of attending you will see a CAFCASS oficer (a court appointed Social Worker) who will try and attempt an agreed resolution before going in front of the district judge.

As it appears that you have 'Parental Responcibility' for your child - you were married at the time of the birth and I presume you are named on the birth certificate, unless there is evidence to the contray, then Contact normally would be granted. However, who knows what your Ex might use as a defense...... Additionally, enforcement of the order is yet anothe issue.

However, your child will one day be 18 and may well come looking for you. It would be a much better position to evidence all the work you put into see them but were thwarted by the mother, rather than 'you couldn't be bothered to do anything'. It might not be like that but what is your child to think/know?

Hapless_2

1979 wrote: »

I miss my son soo much, not a day goes by when I don't miss him. My ex wife just dose not me to meet my child.

Like I have said my solictor has written a letter to my ex wife asking for arrangement to meet the child. I think this shows that I do care. On another note my ex lives with her family who are very rich, and I dont think she spends £250 a month on my son. So she must be saving my money on other unimportant things.

If you want to see your child, fight for it through the courts. Once there is a court order in place she cannot deny access.
If you want to run away to another country to avoid paying for your child then it doesn't really show that much affection.