Ex claiming CSA and no contact with child please help

1979

I’m a dad that does not have contact with my ex – wife or my son who is now 3 years old (I last saw my son when he was 6mths) My wife split up with me and took an injunction order for 1 year, in which I could not have any contact what so ever. I am now divorced, remarried and have a baby with another person.

Now the CSA are taking approx £250 a month (from me after 15% from my new baby) I don’t see or meet my son. The solicitor has told me that it will take thousands of pounds in the process to see him. (That’s something I can’t afford)

I am finding these huge payments are now affecting me financially. Is there anything I can do to have these payments reduced?

I in the process of writing a letter to the CSA but I don’t know if anything will change. My solicitor does not advise me properly and so I might go to specialist who deals with these cases.

Just recently my solicitor has written to my Ex –wife’s solicitor to request a arrangement to see my son. So far I have no replies, and I really don’t think she would agree.

What can I do to have my payments reduced or even stopped? Will going to Australia stop my payments, can they chase me there?

youngie

have you made the CSA aware you are now supporting a new family they will not stop taking payments from you but will make a small allowance for the new family also you need to check if you are making back payments from the time you and your wife separated if you have proof you made maintenance payments for your son provide copies of this to CSA do not stop paying or they will put an attatchment of earnings order on you which means payments are deducted straight from your wages and you get charged for this

duchy

1979 wrote: »

I am finding these huge payments are now affecting me financially. Is there anything I can do to have these payments reduced?


What can I do to have my payments reduced or even stopped? Will going to Australia stop my payments, can they chase me there?

It's interesting at no point do you say that you miss your son this seems to be all about how not to pay to help support your child.
Going to Australia would be a short term solution-as soon as you returned to the UK you'd be chased again (including arrears) and likely Australia wouldn't give you residency as a child support defaulter anyway-they are very fussy.
Your payments are calculated to include any days your child stays overnight with you-obviously with such a young child and no contact for most of his life even if access was restored tomorrow overnight stays with someone who is in essence a stranger to him would be a long way off-no court is going to sanction immediate overnight access-access is for the best interests of the child-not a way to reduce an uninvolved parent's CSA bill.

kelloggs36

The assessment is based on your income, so unless you change jobs there is nothing you can do. I do sympathise though - it must be hard not being able to see a child who is yours when it should be an automatic right unless there is evidence to suggest that you would be a danger to the child. Sorry not to be able to give you what you wanted.

duchy

There was an in junction so I'd guess it's up to the OP to prove it is now in the best interests of the child for there to be contact.
Bottom line is it is terribly sad that two people who once cared for each other enough to get married and have a child can't work things out if it IS in the child's best interest. I know it isn't easy and I am very thankful that when I wanted to stop access when my divorce was at its bitterest (not to punish him just sick of all the anger that got thrown around by BOTH of us) that my Mum talked me down and ten years on I still have a good parenting relationship with my ex and he and my son do see each other very regually.......but it could have been so very different !!

1979

I miss my son soo much, not a day goes by when I don't miss him. My ex wife just dose not me to meet my child.

Like I have said my solictor has written a letter to my ex wife asking for arrangement to meet the child. I think this shows that I do care. On another note my ex lives with her family who are very rich, and I dont think she spends £250 a month on my son. So she must be saving my money on other unimportant things.

Voyager2002

So sorry to hear about your situation, 1979.

You have actually posed two very different problems, and the ways to solve each one are different. Building a reasonable relationship with your son is obviously important to you, but you won't achieve this by moving to Australia, nor by other 'clever' ways of reducing the amount you pay to the CSA.

So far as CSA payments are concerned: one you live outside the UK you obligation to make any payments ceases, and they will not pursue you (except possibly for money owed when you lived in the UK). So if you could find a job and a place to live anywhere in Europe, where as a British citizen you have a right to reside, that might help your finances. However, be aware that leaving the country is a major decision...

(Incidentally, I do wish that people like Duchy would not post information that is simply wrong: quite apart from the unpleasant tone of her response, if someone does not know what the law says it is better not to say anything.)

So long as you reside within the UK, you will have to pay the CSA. Again, you need to ensure that you are paying the correct amount, as laid by the rules. See if you can find the Network against the CSA on the web: they developed a spreadsheet that you can download and use to calculate the correct payment, given your particular income and circumstances. I understand that their spreadsheet is more accurate than the software that the CSA uses, so you may well be able to demonstrate that your payment is higher than it should be. But the rules for determining how much you pay are laid down by law, and if those rules are being followed correctly there is no appeal.

As for contact with your son: going through the courts could be a very expensive way of getting nowhere: Fathers for Justice have highlighted a real problem, although their methods have been counter-productive. Is there anyone who could help negotiations: a grandparent perhaps? Investigate whether there are any "contact centres" near him (these are places that provide neutral, child-friendly space for a divorced parent to spend time with his/her child). Offer to meet at the home of one of your ex-wife's friends or relatives: for the sake of your son, it is important that your meetings take place somewhere where he feels comfortable, and in the presence of someone that he knows. And it is clear that his mother would not feel comfortable about being there herself, nor about letting you visit in her home, and this is something that you should respect.

Make sure that any suggestions you make demonstrate that you have thought about these issues and are putting the needs of your son first: that alone should help you to get somewhere, and also would favourably impress a court if the matter ends up there.

Strapped

Hi, we are in the same position of paying for a child whom my hubby is prevented from seeing. We choose to grin and bear it and hope that when his daughter is old enough, she will seek him out and know that he did everything he could for her. (He has been to court and got a Contact Order, but her mother only complied for about 3 visits before breaking off contact again & it seems the courts will do nothing about it!) I would advise against "running off to Oz" if you really hope to have a relationship with your son. Voyager's advice above is good - pay your child maintenance, check the amount is correct as best you can, KEEP RECEIPTS and work on negotiating some kind of contact without calling in the solicitors.

1979

Last year I saw my ex and child at a religous do, I spoke very politely but she started swearing at me and then her uncles started to threaten me. I filed a report with the Police but I requested not to take any action.

None of her relatives are willing to listen so i have no chance in communication.

One solicitor advised me (with his experience in these cases) to not to see my child, as my son will only listen to his mum and turn against me anyway.

This will wreck my family as I will be meeting him and his mum and then coming back home. He said it's not worth it you got a new family so stick with that. (I'M CONFUSED HERE, as I want to meet and see my child but dont want this to affect my new family.

My new wife dosent have a problem she too want to meet my son but I can see that everytime i speak about him she feels a little uncomfortable although she dosent say.

I cant get tout of the UK yet as my wife has just had a baby and Ive got a new job. I will get more money now from my new job. Is this right that if I dont let CSA know of my increase in wage then the amounts will stay as they are. As CSA are taking direct debit from me anyway.

I'm finding it soo difficult to raise up a family where i would like to save, invest, i want to save for a house and this is crazy for the next 16 years.

Can't CSA chase me if I moved out of the country from my NI Card and demand payments there. This could be directed from a court in the UK to a court in the new country.

Zara33

1979 wrote: »

I miss my son soo much, not a day goes by when I don't miss him. My ex wife just dose not me to meet my child.

You miss him that much that you are prepared to run away to another country just to aviod paying child support :rolleyes:

Like I have said my solictor has written a letter to my ex wife asking for arrangement to meet the child. I think this shows that I do care. On another note my ex lives with her family who are very rich, and I dont think she spends £250 a month on my son. So she must be saving my money on other unimportant things.

The other family members income has nothing whatsoever to do with child support payments.

Strapped

Troll, perhaps?