Help with childcare costs for separated parents

Bambi91

Myself and my partner have 50/50 custody of my partner's 2 boys (3 & 7). The 7 year old is at full time school and the 3 year old is at part time nursery. My partner's ex doesn't work and helps us with the school runs while we are at work. I also have an 8 year old who is at a different school, I pay childcare costs for her after school and in the holidays. My partner's parents help out as and when they can but my mother in law has no car and isn't very mobile and my father in law still works shifts so isn't always around to help. The ex has recently said that she needs time to herself and that she cannot continue constantly helping us with school runs and we should therefore find a childminder. I did explain that as she (rightfully) claims child benefit for the boys as they are classed as living with her so we wouldn't be entitled to help with childcare costs and that we couldn't afford to pay for a childminder for all 3 children & while she isn't working I didn't understand why she couldn't continue helping. She receives child maintenance and we pay for any uniform, trips etc. We would literally be working just to pay for childcare. Has anybody else found themselves in the same situation? I am just after a bit of advice as to where we would stand with help when we have 50/50 custody but they are classed as living with Mum.

Caz3121

If true 50:50 has there been any discussion with regards to claiming for one child each?

Bambi91

Mum says no because she needs the money so we have said okay that's fine but she needs to help with school runs if shes not going to work. It would be the 3 year old that we would need help with more as he finishes nursery at lunchtime while we are at work. I'm not sure if we could put a claim in and explain the circumstances and just maybe we could have a chance of getting help with the childcare? I don't want to put a claim in and get into trouble because mum is already claiming for them 

cantcope

Give her a choice. Help with childcare or forfeit half the child benefit as you'll need to claim it for childcare help purposes.
She sounds the type to want to keep the money... If she wanted time to herself she shouldn't have had children, or she oculd get a job and get the time, and extra money, that way..