So annoyed with ourselves-riding the debt roundabout again!

lea

Hello

Am a lurker on these boards and have been since 2003. I just wanted to ask if there are many people that, once having repaid all their debt, have managed to get themselves back into a similar situation?! Well me and my husband have and I am soooooooo annoyed with ourselves.

A few years ago, our debt was nearly £26,000 (dont ask me how that happened-nothing to show for it and we were only in our eas
rly 20's). Through hard work and an unexpected monetary gift from a family member, we managed to get our debt down to just £3,000.
We were so happy, it was like the biggest weight off our shoulders. In 2006 we bought a house and got married, and we put £5,000 of the cost of the wedding on low interest credit cards. We were quite happy to do this, we could afford it and after having nearly £30k of debt, £8k seemed like nothing.

It was all hunky dory but then this time last year my husband had some troubles at work and out the blue he was diagnosed with severe depression. (Something he had never had before but it turns out there is a history of it in his family). Life changed dramatically-he was unable to work a) because the depression made him demotivated and b) the medication he was put on made him so drowsy, and being a driver there was nothing that could be done. He got paid sick pay for a few weeks, but then that stopped. He was off work, with only SSP, for a number of months and we resorted to living on credit cards to get by. My full time wages only covered the mortgage and a few utilities, so we were withdrawing money from the credit card to deposit into our current account to pay the bills and buy food etc!

Depression is a horrible horrible thing, it affected our relationship immensely and he even moved out for a week in the summer, him demanding a divorce (which we can now see was the depression). The situation made me desperately sad so I started to spend as a kind of therapy. Not huge amounts, but a little bit on ebay here and there. Which all adds up. My husband left his original job as they were pressuring him to go back (which he couldnt) and was doing a bit of temp work now and then.
Eventually the doctors put my husband on some different medication that suited him and has helped him. A year on from him first becoming 'ill', he has now found another driving job and we are starting to get a little bit back to normal.

But over the past 12 months we have managed to accrue another £7,000 of credit card debt, so the total is now £15,000. I feel so frustrated that we are in this situation again-the weight is back on our shoulder with avengence!

I have started doing AQA in the evenings to try and earn a bit of extra money, but I am impatient and I want the debt paid off yesterday!!

Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation?? Any advice greatly received. With thanks,

Lea

LJD1_2

Hiya
Yes, we did exactly the same. Paid it all off and then got in debt again. That's why this time we may be debt free but I keep looking at these boards, I still keep a spending diary and I still set myself challenges every month. I am determined not to get in debt again. Good luck sorting yourself out and staying in the black this time xx

squirrel_pigeon

Hi. I did the same. Had a 2 year gap between being debt free and in debt again but still did it. Am determined to sort it out again and actually stop spending this time. Good luck - hope you do it xxx

mrspoor

Yep, been here before too! We were never quite debt-free, but we had an inheritance of £20k :eek: a few years ago and it was completely frittered! We paid off some existing debts, bought a couple of cheap cars, and appear to have spent the rest on takeaways, as we had nothing else to show for it.

In no time at all, we were back in overdraft-city, spending on credit cards to make up for the short-fall at the end of the month, and buying ourselves 'treats' we couldn't afford but felt we deserved.:rolleyes:

I am so determined now to get out and stay out of debt - we got married this year and bought our own place, so it's time to do some growing up! Now, if I don't have it, I don't spend it - I hope I can keep it up this time!

You are not alone!!:D

Sea78

Hi

I too have gone up and down. Big hugs to you - you have done it before though and you can do this. Would it be helpful to post your SOA on here for some advice?

Sea xx

lea

Thanks for all your replies, its comforting to know we're not the only ones who have fallen into the trap again.
I will post my SOA once my husband gets his first pay cheque. Its all a bit up in the air still and I am ashamed to say I am still living on the credit cards, as my husband has not had a proper wage for nearly a year. He started his new job nearly a month ago now and we are expecting his first pay cheque any day now, and then we are going to knuckle down (good timing-right before Xmas!).

I am very familiar with that feeling of thinking that we deserve a treat so getting a takeaway or a meal out or a CD/DVD. Which would be fine if i was actually spending my own money!

Lea

boredofbeingathome

lea wrote: »

Hello

Am a lurker on these boards and have been since 2003. I just wanted to ask if there are many people that, once having repaid all their debt, have managed to get themselves back into a similar situation?! Well me and my husband have and I am soooooooo annoyed with ourselves.

A few years ago, our debt was nearly £26,000 (dont ask me how that happened-nothing to show for it and we were only in our eas
rly 20's). Through hard work and an unexpected monetary gift from a family member, we managed to get our debt down to just £3,000.
We were so happy, it was like the biggest weight off our shoulders. In 2006 we bought a house and got married, and we put £5,000 of the cost of the wedding on low interest credit cards. We were quite happy to do this, we could afford it and after having nearly £30k of debt, £8k seemed like nothing.

It was all hunky dory but then this time last year my husband had some troubles at work and out the blue he was diagnosed with severe depression. (Something he had never had before but it turns out there is a history of it in his family). Life changed dramatically-he was unable to work a) because the depression made him demotivated and b) the medication he was put on made him so drowsy, and being a driver there was nothing that could be done. He got paid sick pay for a few weeks, but then that stopped. He was off work, with only SSP, for a number of months and we resorted to living on credit cards to get by. My full time wages only covered the mortgage and a few utilities, so we were withdrawing money from the credit card to deposit into our current account to pay the bills and buy food etc!

Depression is a horrible horrible thing, it affected our relationship immensely and he even moved out for a week in the summer, him demanding a divorce (which we can now see was the depression). The situation made me desperately sad so I started to spend as a kind of therapy. Not huge amounts, but a little bit on ebay here and there. Which all adds up. My husband left his original job as they were pressuring him to go back (which he couldnt) and was doing a bit of temp work now and then.
Eventually the doctors put my husband on some different medication that suited him and has helped him. A year on from him first becoming 'ill', he has now found another driving job and we are starting to get a little bit back to normal.

But over the past 12 months we have managed to accrue another £7,000 of credit card debt, so the total is now £15,000. I feel so frustrated that we are in this situation again-the weight is back on our shoulder with avengence!

I have started doing AQA in the evenings to try and earn a bit of extra money, but I am impatient and I want the debt paid off yesterday!!

Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation?? Any advice greatly received. With thanks,

Lea

I can really sympathise with you, my OH went self employed for a couple of years and racked up huge credit card debt on petrol and expenses for his travel- oh and a nice comfy car just to show how well he was doing. Didnt pay off his cards with monies recieved for expenses, and a variety of other things like tax etc- his paperwork all over the place!:eek: Then he got offered a realy good job back on the cards, emergency tax ensued etc as income dropped over 1k a month. We had no debt before this as we were in debt when first married and i swore we never would be again. To top it all of my youngest daughter who has had a lot of time in and out of hospital with a medical condition she was born with, contracted diabetes type 1 just to complicate matters. so i had to give up a lot of work to look after and support her. sorry if i'm sounding self pitying.Anyway if it wasn't for lurking on this website and employing any tip i could to save money and reduce debt i think i would have gone mad. OH very good at ducking out of responsibilities, but he is a caring chap underneath and a hard worker. Just no good at sorting himself out. I also feel guilty in that i left him to sort himself out, because i had other priorities and couldnt work.Things are slowly changing now and my advice would be to hang on in there, take on board all the tips andkeep picking yourself up and starting again- that''s my attitude now as i know we can pay it off with a little help from MSE:money: