Can't cope full time

Happier_Me

Yes, I know the feeling too well of feeling exhausted and run ragged and like you're doing bad job of everything, from being a mum to running your home and managing your job!

No advice really other than to say, it doesn't last forever, my kids now get themselves to school on the bus and don't need any care at all during the school day...my youngest is 11. I think my son is actually more sensible than me!

You may benefit from a clear plan though and rigid budget. It sounds like you're working full time to pay off debt... but I found I spent more working full time! You have to be really disciplined not to fritter away your money... to make pack lunches, avoid takeaways because you just can't face cooking, etc etc. Work out your budget, how much you can afford to pay off your debt and stick to it... if you can see a time where you can afford to reduce your hours then it might make the time between now and then easier to get through!

Oh and make sure your partner is doing his share too...

Spendless

I went to work f-time when my kids were a lot older than yours (teens) and it was a huge shock to the system, until a routine was established.

What are your actual work hours though, you've put 8.30 start but then mentioned not getting in till 6pm. I'm wndering if some of your issue isn't that you're 'full-time' but that that full time is 40+ hours

theoretica

Could your OH look for a more stable work pattern? Would that help? I know a family, for instance, where one parent works early and picks up from school, and the other works later and does the morning run.

Savvy_Sue

workmummy wrote: »

We have iphones each they cost £15 a month,

How soon could you get that cost down? There's various articles from this page.

Also Martin's latest TV programme was about how to clear debt, do check you're doing things in the right order. Plus have you been to the Debt Free board and done a SoA to see if there is anything else you could save on?

sooty&sweep

Hi
You're fretting that you get in at 8:50 when you should be in by 8.30 but then say you work flexi. Could you agree with your boss / team that you'll start at 9am & make up the time elsewhere ? Are there those that prefer to start earlier eg 8am so by you working later means they can finish earlier ?
Is there an afterschool you could use so you don't have to rely on your in laws to pick up ? My two both enjoyed after school club.
It's important for you to remember that you are doing the best you can & not beat yourself up for not being what you perceive to be the perfect mother !
Jen

jackomdj

It is hard but gets easier.  I didn't have family around, and had to assume OH wouldn't be around as he worked away a lot, so we made full use of kids clubs, both morning and afternoon.  I made sure I did some longer days, so I could also do shorter days and be with the chikdren more.

ftm1983

I feel for you, but you're lucky you have grandparents to help out. OH and I are one of the only couples we know who don't have grandparents or any other family to help, everyone else seems to  
We've had to work opposite shifts - OH does 8-4pm Monday to Friday and I do 5-11pm a couple of nights a week so I get to do the school run everyday and am here during the half terms. It's bloody tiring some days as my 2 year old likes to get up at 530am, but it saves massively on childcare.
Is there any chance you could drop a day? work a weekend instead?

Ponylover

It's so hard working full time with children.
Up until fairly recently my DH and I worked opposite shifts to ensure that there was always someone there for the kids. It could be hard on our marriage at times but worked.

Does your DH help out with the chores etc?