ADHD and managing money

mummystudent

I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD, I'm nearly 40, and my entire life I've just thought I had a lack of control and will power and was just a bad person.

I have wracked up debts on a couple of credit cards and a loan, on paper my earnings should cover my outgoings and leave enough to live on after but in reality my compulsive spending and inability to manage my money means I am constantly using credit cards to pay for essentials.

Is there a company or charity that will help with taking control of your money? I have a separate account for my wages to go in and my bills to go out of, the idea being that I don't touch that account and the important stuff is covered but I have access to it and so will transfer money and my bills will bounce. I don't feel like I have anyone in my life that I could ask to do this for me.

I'm nearly 40 and I can't go on like this... I'm going to lose everything if I'm not careful.

xylophone

Some counselling/advice might help.

https://capuk.org/

Malkytheheed

Sorry but I don't see the correlation?

I'm 37, have had severe ADHD and ADD my whole life. It has no impact on money? I don't see how it has anything to do with financial discipline.

Attention deficit and hyperactivity doesn't cause racking up debt on credit cards. It's means we struggle to concentrate on one thing for a length of time, particularly if it doesn't interest us.

I hate to say it but I think you are trying to blame your money problems on a recent medical diagnosis.

Your ADHD is your personality. Learn to love it. It's who you are.

As for your debts, there are many charities out there to help you tackle that. Step change I think is one.

born_again

You would need to look at a bank that offered a personal banker. But even then I doubt that they would totally manage your accounts for you.

If things are that bad, then you need someone to have power of Attorney. They will then be able to work with you.

jonnygee2

I have wracked up debts on a couple of credit cards and a loan, on paper my earnings should cover my outgoings and leave enough to live on after but in reality my compulsive spending and inability to manage my money means I am constantly using credit cards to pay for essentials.

I also have ADHD, and it can also affect my spending. However, ADHD really can be managed and that's where you should be focusing. It's not completely uncontrollable, it's just very difficult to control.

Try to look at what your impulses are. Make a list of impulse purchases and/or things you regularly overspend on and then try to work out how much better off you'd be without them. You need to slowly train your mind to overcome the impulse, you will always feel it, but in time the rational part of your mind will become aware of when something is impulsive and you will be able to stop yourself. Just knowing that the impulses are down to ADHD is a good start.

Basically, instead of seeing this diagnosis as official recognition that you don't have control over things, you should see it as an opportunity to start taking control.

colsten

born_again wrote: »

You would need to look at a bank that offered a personal banker. But even then I doubt that they would totally manage your accounts for you.

If things are that bad, then you need someone to have power of Attorney. They will then be able to work with you.

Someone with PoA, may be yes. Definitely not a personal banker - they are sales people. Just about the last kind of people the OP needs, I would have thought.

Malkytheheed

Power of attorney for a sane and healthy (assumed) 40 year-old just because they spend too much is rather ridiculous.

Just learn to manage your money better. Go to a class, ask a charity, read books, ask questions here.

mummystudent

Thank you for taking the time to post such a thoughtful response. My psychiatrist and everything I’ve read says there’s a huge link between financial problems and adhd (I don’t open post, can formulate a budget but then get impulsive). I have an appointment to talk about treatment and therapy but I just can’t imagine ever gaining control, it’s been 40 years of this and I’ve spent so long berating myself as having a personality fault and saw the diagnosis as confirmation of that. I just feel like submitting but I’d not thought about it they way you said. That it’s the start of gaining control...

Thank you. Such a thoughtful response.

mummystudent

There’s established links between ADHD and financial problems. How brilliant that you don’t experience that but one persons experience does not cancel out everybody else’s. A quick google would show you how wrong you are.

I’m not trying to blame the ADHD, Jesus I’ve spent the last 40yrs blaming myself for all the things they are now saying are related to my ADHD and am trying to learn how to unpick that.

Willing2Learn

Hi mummystudent :hello:

I have a mental health diagnosis, a psychiatrist and a social worker. I also used to have difficulty with managing my money. Things only started getting better (financially) after I started using Microsoft Money and begun to work within my budget at last...Since about 2011, I have been successfully using YNAB instead...