Help needed

Stokie1203

Hi guys

I finally had that lightbulb moment that I need help with my debts. I'm currently married with 2 beautiful children. Non of my family know what a mess I'm in and to be honest if I told my wife she'd end up throwing me out the house. I've struggled most of my adult life with overspending and at the age of 39 it's about time I sorted myself out. I'm not sleeping at night and constantly thinking of suicidal thoughts

I'm currently in £18k worth of short term 'debt With 5 credit cards.

I also have a mortgage with nationwide where we have managed to tie ourselves in to a fixed rate for 5 years. So I'm hoping this is my chance to sort myself out before our offer is due again

I'm hoping someone can help me find a way out of this mess
I'm scared and so frightened

katsu

You are in the right place to get help. Keep posting and reading, people will advise you.

Your family will want you to stay alive. Call the Samaritans if you are afraid you might hurt yourself.

If you post what we call an SOA - see the other posts here for the link - then we can help suggest ways you can save money to pay off these debts.

middleclassbutpoor

£18k isn't that bad compared to what some people on here struggle with. Clearly its relevant to your earnings.

My view is that you need to get a SOA posted which will help us understand what can be done to get you the help you need. No need to be frightened by this, if you have had your lightbulb moment, you have got this!

When is the 5yr fixed up?

https://lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

sazaccount

STOP, Breath, please call one of the numbers on here: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/

Owing some money is no where near the value of your life!

Grab a cuppa, sit down with the last 3 months of statements, debt cards, credit cards, loans etc and work out what you are spending on and who you owe money too. Link in ^^^ to fill out the SOA. It will be hard but post back here and the lovely people can help with where to start, cutting down/off.

Maybe think about telling your wife corny but "a problem shared is a problem halved" you'll need to work together, there is no point you cutting down on spending if your wife is going to go shopping every weekend and but new stuff.

sourcrates

Hi,

No need to be scared or frightened, as a homeowner you only really have the option of a debt management plan, easy to set up, easy to run, the solutions are there, just make the first move, contact stepchange debt charity, they will help you sort things out.

Problem debt can be sorted either informally, or formally, just like any other problem, it requires the right solution.

Stokie1203

Thank you for all your help so far, once the kids are in bed I'll sit down and do a SOA! I just want to sort this before It get out of control

Bookgal88

Stokie1203 - You've made a positive first stop by acknowledging both your financial and mental situation and for reaching out for help. It takes a lot of courage to admit you're struggling.

Definitely post a comprehensive and honest SOA - it's the best way of getting some useful advice.

It probably doesn't feel like it, but as middleclassbutpoor said, £18k isn't a substantial debt. I often listen to a guy called Dave Ramsey on YT and, whilst I don't always agree with his ideas and the religious side of stuff does nothing for me, the callers often call in panicked that they're going to drown in debt forever. That's until he talks them down, goes through the figures and everyone at the table agrees that they'll be debt-free shortly. That's exactly what we're going to do here.

Stay safe, and looking forward to reading your SOA

skintdaddy79

Hi there,

I’m in a similar situation to yourself with credit card debt. This forum is definitely the right place to come and I’ve had some great advice on here!
As said previously , keep posting and reading. You do get responses and its worth posting your SOA as someone may suggest something you hadn’t thought of before.
Best of luck with your debt-busting. It does feel like a dark cloud sometimes but those clouds do clear!

Unicorn_cottage

Stokie1203 looking forward to seeing your SOA. You absolutely can sort this

Stokie1203

Hi guys just a quick up date

I've spent hours and hours reading through the forum and how to tackle this debt I've also spoken to a one of the debt charity's.

I was advised to go down the IVA route but I wasn't too comfortable with the idea of losing all my credit options and having to remortgage after 54 months.

I've decided to go down the loan route and destroy the credit cards. I have read that this group would normally be against this route but I feel this is best for me.
I can't believe the amount of money I've wasted on take away a and designer clothing.
I'm really focusing on changing my mind set on how I send.
I have given myself a budget of what I can spend per week on my self and so far so good.
My aim is to be debt free within 5 years and to be in credit for the first time in my life.
It isn't going to be easy but I have to do this, not just for me but for my family.
I've been far to selfish

I'm looking forward to the journey and I know there will be bumps along the way

DCFC79

Stokie1203 wrote: »

Hi guys just a quick up date

I've spent hours and hours reading through the forum and how to tackle this debt I've also spoken to a one of the debt charity's.

I was advised to go down the IVA route but I wasn't too comfortable with the idea of losing all my credit options and having to remortgage after 54 months.

I've decided to go down the loan route and destroy the credit cards. I have read that this group would normally be against this route but I feel this is best for me.
I can't believe the amount of money I've wasted on take away a and designer clothing.
I'm really focusing on changing my mind set on how I send.
I have given myself a budget of what I can spend per week on my self and so far so good.
My aim is to be debt free within 5 years and to be in credit for the first time in my life.
It isn't going to be easy but I have to do this, not just for me but for my family.
I've been far to selfish

I'm looking forward to the journey and I know there will be bumps along the way

It will only work if
A you can even get a loan for said amount
B you stick the plan and not build up extra debt along the way
C you build up a savings pot so if something does need replacing youuse the savings pot.

Consllidating is frowned upon round here because we see many posters who consolidate and then return a period of time later because they need help as consolidating hasnt worked.

It seems from your post you have a plan, no more takeaways and designer clothing. Can save more money if you look at your other spending eg mobile, do you need a Sky/Virgin package or could you drop a package.