Facing reality

Sarahwithlove

SuperFrank88 said:

Hi Sarah,

Thought I would stop by. How about you both do your own shopping and keep it is separate cupboards/shelves in the fridge? Seems a bit extreme but if she is taking the p*ss by being so picky after you have been so good to here over the months then so be it. I get that it must be hard to ask her for her share because she is out of work but that is not really a you problem. If she is having to rely on her dad for money now then it shows she has not been responsible, which again is not a you problem. You obviously have a big heart and are a good person but you should not go without.

It may end up with us going down that route as I cook for us both 95% of the time and end up doing all the washing up and cleaning 95% of time as well. And I'm the one working from home at the moment not her. I guess I just want to avoid confrontation as we have no escape at the moment from each other. 

ryanm8655

Sarahwithlove said:

SuperFrank88 said:

Hi Sarah,

Thought I would stop by. How about you both do your own shopping and keep it is separate cupboards/shelves in the fridge? Seems a bit extreme but if she is taking the p*ss by being so picky after you have been so good to here over the months then so be it. I get that it must be hard to ask her for her share because she is out of work but that is not really a you problem. If she is having to rely on her dad for money now then it shows she has not been responsible, which again is not a you problem. You obviously have a big heart and are a good person but you should not go without.

It may end up with us going down that route as I cook for us both 95% of the time and end up doing all the washing up and cleaning 95% of time as well. And I'm the one working from home at the moment not her. I guess I just want to avoid confrontation as we have no escape at the moment from each other. 

Completely understand not wanting to cause a scene/atmosphere. 

Agree with SF88 re: it not being a you problem, though appreciate it’s tough once you’ve set a precedent to then go back on it.

Maybe just not cooking her food is the way forward. Say money is tight for you too, so need to limit your spend and propose separate meals/shopping. Or even use her diet situation as your excuse.

Though if you are saving money overall then at least there is a net benefit to you. Something to bear in mind with the next lodger though, you want people to feel welcome but at the same time you don’t want people taking the pee and not returning the favour.

Keep up the great work! 

Sarahwithlove

ryanm8655 said:

Sarahwithlove said:

SuperFrank88 said:

Hi Sarah,

Thought I would stop by. How about you both do your own shopping and keep it is separate cupboards/shelves in the fridge? Seems a bit extreme but if she is taking the p*ss by being so picky after you have been so good to here over the months then so be it. I get that it must be hard to ask her for her share because she is out of work but that is not really a you problem. If she is having to rely on her dad for money now then it shows she has not been responsible, which again is not a you problem. You obviously have a big heart and are a good person but you should not go without.

It may end up with us going down that route as I cook for us both 95% of the time and end up doing all the washing up and cleaning 95% of time as well. And I'm the one working from home at the moment not her. I guess I just want to avoid confrontation as we have no escape at the moment from each other. 

Completely understand not wanting to cause a scene/atmosphere. 

Agree with SF88 re: it not being a you problem, though appreciate it’s tough once you’ve set a precedent to then go back on it.

Maybe just not cooking her food is the way forward. Say money is tight for you too, so need to limit your spend and propose separate meals/shopping. Or even use her diet situation as your excuse.

Though if you are saving money overall then at least there is a net benefit to you. Something to bear in mind with the next lodger though, you want people to feel welcome but at the same time you don’t want people taking the pee and not returning the favour.

Keep up the great work! 

Thanks I'm not sure I will have a next one. I don't need the money financially I can manage without and this has made me realise that there is too many negatives for me personally. My hope is to clear majority of my debt before my housemate moves out which will probably be end of next year and it will give me a lot of spare cash to save up 

another_casualty

Have to be honest here and say, don't get another lodger . You have just said that financially you can live without.  

I do understand what you're going through in your situation at the moment . Sometimes you're probably doing things with gritted teeth and by doing so avoiding confrontation and avoiding possibly falling out with your friend . If you could do without and let her move on a bit sooner , that may be better in the long run . It looks like you'll feel much better and stress will be lifted . Money problems are always there unfortunately for most of us , but treading on eggshells for long periods can only be done for so long ..

Sarahwithlove

another_casualty said:

Have to be honest here and say, don't get another lodger . You have just said that financially you can live without.  

I do understand what you're going through in your situation at the moment . Sometimes you're probably doing things with gritted teeth and by doing so avoiding confrontation and avoiding possibly falling out with your friend . If you could do without and let her move on a bit sooner , that may be better in the long run . It looks like you'll feel much better and stress will be lifted . Money problems are always there unfortunately for most of us , but treading on eggshells for long periods can only be done for so long ..

I agree with you. I'm trying to be understanding of her situation and that at the moment she is a bit emotionally fragile. I have 9 days off work now so hopefully give me a chance to catch up on general household stuff and I will hopefully feel a bit better about it all. 

Sarahwithlove

Tomorrow is payday thank god. I have £16.80 left in my food budget but hopefully shouldn't need much over the weekend so hoping it can stretch until the 1st so that can start the month fresh. I'm happy though as paid off £520 on my credit card this month. Admittedly £92 was carried over from last month's left over budget but it's still more than the £350 I have been aiming for.

My tax code seems to have sorted itself out properly this year so I get an extra £20 a month. It also looks like the unions might be close to agreeing a pay rise so fingers crossed that will happen soon. It's not gonna be massive I think about an extra £25 a month after tax etc. 

I'm off work this week and it's been so nice having a break from it all but it's going so quickly. I've been using the free time doing my surveys etc so close to another £5 in prolific and £5 on receipt hog. 

I need to stop eating so much junk food, not only is it bad for my bank balance but also my waist line. Hoping cutting back on it will reduce my spends down. I've also brought a lot of garden stuff recently so now I have what I need it should be fairly straight toward 

Sarahwithlove

So my £5 from receipt hog came in. I also got an unexpected surprise in the form of just under £45 back from my car insurance due to not using my car as much during lockdown. So I decided to treat myself to a couple of vest tops which are needed in this weather, a takeaway and a bottle of wine. Still have about £10 left of it which I haven't decided what to do with yet. I may put it towards June's spending money and get myself some bikini tops as struggling to wear a bra in this heat. (sorry guys!) I debated getting petrol today but I still have over a 1/3 of a tank and feel like I would be just filling it up for sake of it. So for now I'm going to let my petrol fund just keep growing until its needed. I have a feeling it could be a while though before I am back to visiting people in their homes again. 

CreditCardJunkie

You're doing fab Sarah! Glad you're able to treat yourself to a few bits

Sarahwithlove

I woke up this morning to an alert from clear score saying that a change will be in my new report mid June. Looks like an account has been opened with TSB that I know nothing about. Not sure where to start with contacting them as the alert doesn't give me much information. Not sure whether to wait until the report comes through showing more information or whether to start the process now. It's very worrying! 

mrsmoneypenny90

hi @Sarahwithlove glad you treated your self to a few bits, it’s important to do that every now and again whilst still on the debt busting journey otherwise you will go mad. 

I agree with you about the alert on your credit report, that is worrying, but I would wait until your report is ready and you will know more about the account then. It’s not a change in an overdraft or anything like that is it?

keep on enjoying this lovely weather, certainly makes it easier for have spend free days doesn’t it !