How to find out of someone’s died? 26 January 2020 at 10:46AM in Marriage, relationships & families 16 replies 1.5K views

FoxySurrey

Hello all, I have someone who’ve I’ve been close to for a substantial number of years but who now lives in another part of the UK. Sadly they were recently diagnosed with a faulty heart valve so I’ve been supporting them all I can via messaging and calls whilst they await an op. However the last message I sent them on WhatsApp 3 days ago was delivered (2 ticks) but has not yet been read, plus their ‘last seen’ status is also 3 days ago. My emails remain unanswered and this is unprecedented. I cannot call their phone for certain reasons. So my question is how else can I establish what’s occurred? I called several of their hospitals and they’re not on the patient lists, but would they be if the worst had happened at home? I’m in bits over this 😢

Retireby40

Why cant you call them? If you know where she lives could you possibly find the landline number of a neighbour (difficult but not impossible) to check the house.

Does this person have no other family?

comeandgo

Have you checked the births and deaths sections of the small local newspaper, though it may not be in until a few days after death. Maybe whoever is looking after that person has found the messages and e mails from you and has forbidden any further contact. I am possibly reading more into the fact you can't call them direct as have been in similar situation.

warby68

I suspect the options largely depend on why you can't call them.

If you have reason to believe someone is alone at home and has gone out of contact with noone else looking out for them, I presume it wouldn't be unheard of to ask the police if they could be checked on for welfare reasons.

If you wish to remain discreet or anonymous I'm not sure what you can do other than physically travel yourself.

Artytarty

Maybe they are in icu having had the op and not in a position to use their phone.
I wouldn't go jumping to the conclusion they are dead unless they were knocking at the door the last time you communicated.

frugalmacdugal

Hi,


you could try phoning and withhold your number.

onwards&upwards

Try not to panic, a lost phone is much more likely than a sudden death.

Is the reason you can’t call because this person has a partner/family who don’t know about you? If so then they have people around to look out for them if they are ill.

gomer

The only way you are going to find out is just phoning them, or ask someone else to do it.

Sea_Shell

Can you ring, from an unknown (to them) number and pretend to be a cold caller or something. You can always claim wrong number, if someone else answers.

If I was that worried about someone, I'd ring, or ask someone else to.

Can you get "burner" phones in the UK? Shame there are hardly any public phone boxes anymore.

Retireby40

If the person can WhatsApp the person it would be weird why they couldn't call them. No need for burner phones and sneaky business.

If you are a friend call them. If there is a complication with the relationship or has been problems with other halfs or it was an ex or whatever then you will be told in good time if anything is the problem.

74jax

In the case of suspected death, just call.