Divorce process and may get messy

selfhelp

I wanted to petition for divorce and as I understand I fill out a D8 (divorce petition) via the .gov website and pay a £550 fee. Is it correct that there are 5 different D8 forms and that you have to be sure to select the correct one (I have read the D8 form and it seems fairly straightforward). The original marriage certificate (not copy) then goes off with the D8 and payment.

I would prefer to petition for Unreasonable Behaviour but I think my wife would argue this and put forward 2 years separation with consent. If she disagrees with the grounds will I have to pay another £550 and re submit. Also I'm trying to work out when the financial order comes in. I can see a check box but it only has the option for The petitioner or for the children. There are no children involved as they have all flown the nest. I have a good rapport with a legal a.n.other who can draft a financial/consent order. Is the consent order also sent to the .GOV address or sent to whatever local court we end up in and how do I get the timing right.

I know my wife has some investments and receives interest from a lump sum and this is where I believe it will get messy as she's never divulged this to me so I am unclear on when I check the financial order box in section 11.3 do I then need to seek legal help in pulling together a financial order and which I believe is also called a consent order. Someone has advised that I could go for full disclosure but if I didn't I think the passage would be a lot smoother i.e. I won't start digging if you sign here. We also have separate bank accounts and have never held a joint bank account. She would also be anxious that our 3 children did not find out about some of her behaviour. The last thing my wife will want is for me to start asking lots of awkward questions.

The issues I see financially are her investments and also her father died about 4 years ago and she was in receipt of another lump sum which I also remain in the dark over, she also has a pension to look forward to whereas I don't. Last November I was in receipt of £30k from my mother's estate. I seem to recall reading that inheritance towards the end of a marriage may not be considered. I have one property in my name but this was a property that I let as part of my self employed income and I believe she is expecting half, could this be a tit for tat in that if she makes a claim over the let property I can make a claim over half her pension.

However I contest that this second property which I've had in my name for 11 years was my employment and the proceeds should go to my retirement or to re locate which I desperately want to do. There is debt, but not a significant amount, on the let property which is the fallout from the recession as I got hit quite bad.

I can settle the debt on sale but I have mentioned to her that if she digs her heels in then the debt becomes a joint liability as does capital gains tax. The main residence in both our names has substantial equity of around £600k to be split 50/50 which I don't foresee any issues over. I would like as part of the order that this property (main residence) is sold as soon as is practically possible and that my wife would need to agree to this and not be unreasonable or obstructive. I am 59 and she is 3 years younger. If I can muster some leverage I may also obtain her consent not to attempt to make contact with me ever again.

We are unfortunately in a position whereby it is difficult to discuss anything without a shouting match ensuing and which isn't great for my stress levels. I would ideally like to submit the D8 and consent order and be out of the way but realise this may well not be possible.
Regards

Gavin83

How long have you been married for?

Anyway you can't have your cake and eat it. By this I mean you can't expect to exclude some of your assets and include all hers. The starting point is a 50/50 split of all assets, which includes your house and her pension. If you want to keep the second property then you'll need to offset it by excluding her assets to a similar value.

It seems you have plenty of assets between you and I doubt relocation will be an issue.

BrassicWoman

Pay for mediation.

jackieblack

If you want to avoid arguments and think she would agree to 2 years separation and consent, just use that. No-one else will ever see it and the reason (as long as it is a valid one) is irrelevant. Why provoke possible problems by using Unreasonable Behaviour, unless it is for some kind of point scoring exercise. If you use Unreasonable Behaviour you will have to give specific examples and that can easily reduce into ‘mud slinging’ and provoke more bad feeling than already exists.

You submit your Consent Order to the court after the Decree Nisi has been granted. It becomes legally binding once the court has agreed/sealed it and the Decree Absolute is issued.

The starting point for finances is a 50/50 split of the value of all assets including property, savings/investments and pensions.
When it comes to the actual split the value of, for example a pension can be ‘traded off’ for the equivalent value in a property. However this requires agreement on both sides.

If you can’t agree between you, expect legal expenses to be significant.

Accountant_Kerry

selfhelp wrote: »

I wanted to petition for divorce and as I understand I fill out a D8 (divorce petition) via the .gov website and pay a £550 fee. Is it correct that there are 5 different D8 forms and that you have to be sure to select the correct one (I have read the D8 form and it seems fairly straightforward). The original marriage certificate (not copy) then goes off with the D8 and payment.

There is ine straighforward form

I would prefer to petition for Unreasonable Behaviour but I think my wife would argue this and put forward 2 years separation with consent. If she disagrees with the grounds will I have to pay another £550 and re submit. Also I'm trying to work out when the financial order comes in. I can see a check box but it only has the option for The petitioner or for the children. There are no children involved as they have all flown the nest. I have a good rapport with a legal a.n.other who can draft a financial/consent order. Is the consent order also sent to the .GOV address or sent to whatever local court we end up in and how do I get the timing right.

The consent order comes after the decree Nisi you dont need to worry about that now just tick the box that says you want one

I know my wife has some investments and receives interest from a lump sum and this is where I believe it will get messy as she's never divulged this to me so I am unclear on when I check the financial order box in section 11.3 do I then need to seek legal help in pulling together a financial order and which I believe is also called a consent order. Someone has advised that I could go for full disclosure but if I didn't I think the passage would be a lot smoother i.e. I won't start digging if you sign here. We also have separate bank accounts and have never held a joint bank account. She would also be anxious that our 3 children did not find out about some of her behaviour. The last thing my wife will want is for me to start asking lots of awkward questions.

Consent order still needs a lot of disclosure but at a more summary level, a court hearing needs far more, if either of you dont disclose everythng the consent order is pointless as you can still bring a claim for non-disclosed assets

The issues I see financially are her investments and also her father died about 4 years ago and she was in receipt of another lump sum which I also remain in the dark over, she also has a pension to look forward to whereas I don't. Last November I was in receipt of £30k from my mother's estate. I seem to recall reading that inheritance towards the end of a marriage may not be considered. I have one property in my name but this was a property that I let as part of my self employed income and I believe she is expecting half, could this be a tit for tat in that if she makes a claim over the let property I can make a claim over half her pension. Thats what mediation and agreeing a consent order is to work out

However I contest that this second property which I've had in my name for 11 years was my employment and the proceeds should go to my retirement or to re locate which I desperately want to do. There is debt, but not a significant amount, on the let property which is the fallout from the recession as I got hit quite bad.
[COLOR="darkred"as above[/COLOR]

I can settle the debt on sale but I have mentioned to her that if she digs her heels in then the debt becomes a joint liability as does capital gains tax. The main residence in both our names has substantial equity of around £600k to be split 50/50 which I don't foresee any issues over. I would like as part of the order that this property (main residence) is sold as soon as is practically possible and that my wife would need to agree to this and not be unreasonable or obstructive. I am 59 and she is 3 years younger. If I can muster some leverage I may also obtain her consent not to attempt to make contact with me ever again.

We are unfortunately in a position whereby it is difficult to discuss anything without a shouting match ensuing and which isn't great for my stress levels. I would ideally like to submit the D8 and consent order and be out of the way but realise this may well not be possible.
Regards

you cant just submit a consent order, the key is in the name you both need to consent to the order and if you don't get a consent order the judge will decide for you if you choose

selfhelp

Thank you for the leg up, we've been married for 30 years and it's very much not a question of having my cake and eating it as my wife's assets and pension against the second property are far in excess. The main residence would appear at this stage to be the only straightforward issue.

My suggestion around leverage was no more than for expedience i.e. if I didn't seek any claim over her assets or pension we would just deal with the 2 properties and/or are we legally obliged to disclose all assets to the court, is it first and foremost not two individuals agreeing to go their separate ways.

Thanks for advice re: consent order as I see it is more than clear now ('consensual') so I think in the first instance is to list each other's assets then move forward from there. Once a draft has been drawn up which I don't think is beyond us I can then put it forward to a solicitor to be topped and tailed. There seems to be quite a few consent order templates around. Regards and thanks again.

TBagpuss

In terms of disclosure, the only legal requirement is that you have to ill in a Statement of Information (D81) form to send to the court with your draft consent order.

However, it is generally wise for you to get more detailed disclosure before you agree a settlement, to ensure that you are making an informed decision.