My wife lost her job and her monthly bills are killing me

MEM62

durzoblint wrote: »

My finances are not currently structured to absorb such expenses as £800 is more or less all my disposable income at the end of the month. i find myself almost always dipping into my overdraft and I have had to dip into savings quite a lot.

durzoblint wrote: »

was wondering if there was any advice you could provide in this situation ? She has already consolidated her debts into a loan, what else can i do ?

I think that you have already answered your own question. You cannot afford to service her [personal debt as well as the house / domestic bills and your own financial commitments. You are therefore unable to continue servicing her personal debt and must stop making these payments.

durzoblint

Thank you for the comments, she's currently on the phone with Barclaycard, hopefully we will be able to stop the card, payments and the interest build up. I will update the SOA once i know the situation.

rawhammered

have you considered divorce? she contributes nothing and takes everything. not the sort of person id want to be with.

Pollycat

rawhammered wrote: »

have you considered divorce? she contributes nothing and takes everything. not the sort of person id want to be with.

Not a very helpful comment.
OP
Ignore it.
You've had some pretty blunt (but justified imho) posts about whether your wife is fully on board (including some posts from me ) but that post is just nasty and uncalled for.

gomer

Pollycat wrote: »

Not a very helpful comment.
OP
Ignore it.
You've had some pretty blunt (but justified imho) posts about whether your wife is fully on board (including some posts from me ) but that post is just nasty and uncalled for.

Well it's brutal yes, but it does sound more like a problem with the relationship itself rather than finances. The wife in this case clearly has a problem which she is unfairly expecting someone else to bail her out of - yet rather than reign in her spending chooses to deceive her partner instead and generate even more debt.

This is a relationship issue. It's also an honesty issue.

Pollycat

gomer wrote: »

Well it's brutal yes, but it does sound more like a problem with the relationship itself rather than finances. The wife in this case clearly has a problem which she is unfairly expecting someone else to bail her out of - yet rather than reign in her spending chooses to deceive her partner instead and generate even more debt.

This is a relationship issue. It's also an honesty issue.

It's also a finance issue.
That is how the OP phrased the initial post.
He has not asked for relationship advice and I'd guess he doesn't need it - other than how his wife's behaviour is impacting on his attempts to resolve their financial issues.
I and other posters have commented on his wife's behaviour.

I'm not denying that the OP's wife is not behaving in a fair way.
I'm not denying that the OP's recent revelations that she's continuing spending and hiding the fact that she is doing so isn't very bad behaviour.

My posts on this and the other thread have been very much to-the-point and I haven't pulled any punches.

The post we are discussing goes far beyond that and is not helpful.

If it had been posted on the other thread (on the DFW board) it would probably have been reported and removed.

gomer

Pollycat wrote: »

It's also a finance issue.
That is how the OP phrased the initial post.
He has not asked for relationship advice and I'd guess he doesn't need it - other than how his wife's behaviour is impacting on his attempts to resolve their financial issues.
I and other posters have commented on his wife's behaviour.

I'm not denying that the OP's wife is not behaving in a fair way.
I'm not denying that the OP's recent revelations that she's continuing spending and hiding the fact that she is doing so isn't very bad behaviour.

My posts on this and the other thread have been very much to-the-point and I haven't pulled any punches.

The post we are discussing goes far beyond that and is not helpful.

If it had been posted on the other thread (on the DFW board) it would probably have been reported and removed.

I agree, but i do see why the post was made. Ok it wasn't all fluffy & cuddly, but it does point to an issue with trust which may go a little bit deeper than just one partners spending habits - but I'm sure deep down the OP already knows that.

Pollycat

gomer wrote: »

I agree, but I do see why the post was made. Ok it wasn't all fluffy & cuddly, but it does point to an issue with trust which may go a little bit deeper than just one partners spending habits - but I'm sure deep down the OP already knows that.

I do too.
Looking at some of the OP's other posts, it was intended in a nasty manner.
Similar to suggesting that someone set fire to a builder's house as the only 'appropriate response'.