Should I sell up or keep the house?

amble100

I posted a while back about whether it's better to get a divorce or separation and the advise was to get counselling first and take it from there.

I've arranged to get counselling but haven't had the appointment yet.

In the meantime I feel so confused over what to do.

The house is in my name, I pay all bills and work self-employed.

OH is stay at home mom so looks after the house and kids.

The relationship is mostly done and we live practically separate lives.

She still asks for money however and I've noticed that she has my card details saved on her computer for her online shopping. She says it's for things for the kids (shoes, clothes etc) but I have also noticed she is buying things for herself and even her family. I will put a stop to this by cancelling my cards even though I feel a bit guilty for doing so.

Anyway I am wondering whether to just sell up and move on with our lives. She is completely dependent on me despite us having spoken about her getting work etc. She has made no effort and lives a nice life at home infront of Netflix and ordering things online (stuff we don't need).

This has been going on so long I even wonder whether this is just normal and I should just accept it because I'm not going to get any better...

I don't want to sell up because the kids school is near, however she is living off me and I feel it's unfair and only prolonging the situation.

I have thought about just leaving the house as well so she can see for herself if she really would prefer life without me, but I don't want to leave the kids and I think it would reflect badly on me if I did.

If we divorce I understand she will get her share of the house or proceed of sale, but I am also angry at her family circling in the background (no jobs, lazy) who I feel will use this extra money to get her to buy another house.

I have worked my fingers to the bone to give my family a good life and I feel like now she is getting her reward for treating me badly.

What is the best way forwards? After having read some other threads I don't think separating would be worthwhile, either we fix it or divorce...?

Newly_retired

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/sorting-out-money-when-you-separate/dividing-up-money-and-belongings-when-you-separate/
This link considers a number of options. The site also looks at other aspects of breaking up eg children, housing. Both parties to the marriage have rights. It sounds as though you have no idea what your wife wants in all this. Is it possible to talk? Family mediation is a good idea.
I hope counselling helps as a starting point.