Help with debts

purplepaws

needtodothis2020 wrote: »

I don't really want to go into why I don't want to tell my husband.

I've DM'd you.

gettingtheresometime

I replied on your other thread but having been in the OP's position here's my 2p worth.


The priority for at least the next couple of months has to be her degree - if she gets so stressed that she fails her final exams then she really will be up the creek without a paddle.


That's not to say she should just bury her head about the forthcoming problem.


Whilst my OH found out about a fair proportion of the debts, he has never known how much I was in really in debt, more through me being throughly ashamed of what I'd got myself into. His initial reaction about the debt he did know about was bad enough.


What I did was change all the contact details so that the companies had only my mobile number - that way I could take calls if I could speak. I also changed the correspondence address to that of a trusted family member who knew the sitation....that helped that I could talk through the problems with someone.



The other thing I did was to actually speak to the companies - ime they're far more likely to be open to helping you if you are honest with them rather than being honest with them only after they've got shirty with you. I never went through organisations like Stepchange or Payplan - I only dealt with the companies direct.


Some of the debts did go to debt collection agencies but again so long as you kept up with the agreed payments and paid on time I was never really hassled by them....occasionally I would get a call to either see if I could increase the amount I was paying or alternatively see if I wanted to pay a lump sum so that it would be partially settled. I never went down either route as I wanted the debt cleared, paid off in full so that I wouldn't have the partial settlement hanging over me. Whether this was the MSE way I don't know but for me if felt that it was the right thing to do.



I also found it useful to open a basic bank account and focus on clearing overdrafts on any accounts before closing them.


Finally, as I said getting the degree is a priority, so an evening job may be out of the question at the moment so in the short term I'd look at having a clear and either ebaying/table topping whilst reducing any expenditure.

needtodothis2020

Thanks very much for your advice.
I have taken the first steps and have spoken to Stepcahnge and a DMP is going to be set up with a view to starting it on the 1st Feb.
I have my own resons why I don't wish to tell my husband and for the moment just want to leave it like that and if in the meantime he finds out I will deal with it then.
As far as I know any creditiors only have my mobile number so I can deal with that when it happens.
My main priority now is to try and complete my degree and then hopefully I can apply for better paid jobs and then pay more towards my DMP.
I know the next few months are going to be tough but I have to put my big girl pants on and do my best.
Thanks for advice given and I will keep updating