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Shared Parentage... should I receive maintenance if I feed the kids more?

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Shared Parentage... should I receive maintenance if I feed the kids more?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Child Support
7 replies 1.1K views
1 posts
edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Child Support
Hi, I don't pay maintenance as one child (child 1) lives with me and the other child (child 2)lives with their mother.
However, although child 1 sees her mother for one night a week and eats there just the once, child 2 comes over between 4 and 5 times a week, usually once to sleep but stays for dinner everytime.
My partner thinks that the mother should contribute to the cost of increasing bills and is a point of contention between us, as I know it will be used against me (ie, your dad doesn't want to see you so often because you cost too much)

Is my partner right? Should I be asking my ex to pay some amount of maintenance to contribute?


  • KatrinaWavesKatrinaWaves Forumite
    2.1K posts
    1,000 Posts Name Dropper First Anniversary
    How much is it costing you to cook an extra portion for a child a few times a week, and is it worth getting into a dispute over it?
  • RubyroobsRubyroobs Forumite
    302 posts
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    Can't believe what I am actually reading !! as above how much extra does it cost to make another portion of food ?
  • es5595es5595 Forumite
    231 posts
    100 Posts Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    If one on my parents had begrudged feeding me, I know what I'd think of them! To be quite honest, I often go to my dads for dinner (and I'm in my 30's) and its never occurred to me that him or his partner are commenting on the extra portion of spaghetti bolognese they're making for me!

    And if it is your partner whinging my response would be 'no, of course I'd feed my children without hesitation, I'd give them my kidneys if they needed one'.

    Quite frankly, some parents go without food so their children can eat, if your partner really begrudges you cooking an extra portion for yours, I suggest questioning if you are really on the same page!
  • PasturesNewPasturesNew Forumite
    70.6K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    So, say four kiddie meals/week.... you're quibbling over what might just amount to an extra £1-2 or so/week that enables you to see more of your child?

    Stop nit picking the minutae. There are bigger issues, like how safe/secure/happy the child feels and if you've a seething resentment then they will pick up on that.
  • BAFEBAFE Forumite
    236 posts
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Posts
    I think you should get a new partner.
  • ZaSa1418ZaSa1418 Forumite
    184 posts
    100 Posts Name Dropper
    If the child that didnt live with you stayed overnight 4 or 5 times a week then i would say yes but no not for dinner
    LBM Debt Total : £48,326.50
    June : £45,762.32
    July : £42,149.91 
    August : £40,965.11
  • BrassicWomanBrassicWoman Forumite
    2.9K posts
    Seventh Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Mortgage-free Glee!
    Your partner has a bigger issue than the money here. I don't know what it is, but it is deeply, deeply unpleasant.
    GC August 20 £149.88/£150 Sept 20 £overspent by £40/ £150
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