When to stop giving presents

beachbeth

You're much better off without 'friends' like these, unixgirluk. Seems to me they were more angry about having to pay for their own meals than anything else. You're well rid.

I really don't understand how people can be like this.

maypole

UNIXGIRLUK

You have a better friend in the person you bake the flapjacks for than the other people. It is a shock though, to hear people say things about you, when you thought they were friends. You will get over that though.

MASTERKAY I would agree with the other comments, just have an excuse ready for when they next contact you, what is the point in buying presents just because you feel obliged. Good luck and have a Happy Christmas.

masterkay

I thought I'd update.

Managed to get through Christmas without seeing the offenders. They made no attempt to contact us at all. I suspect they were trying to avoid giving presents. I think the real test will be their birthdays, new jobs, new whatever when I have to give the gift and get nothing in return (not that I want anything) as I suspect I will receive a call then.

Heaven-Leigh

masterkay wrote: »

When chatting with the OH about buying presents for people this year we realised that we only see a couple we have been friends with for years to exchange presents.

We buy Christmas, birthday, new house, new job etc presents. We realised the only time we see a them is when we get a call,"we are moving house fancy coming round to see it" or "it is my birthday next week fancy doing something?"

We don't actually see them any other time. A couple of points is that obviously it swings both ways (we get presents) but they don't make the effort to see us they wait until it is one of their occasions when we are going round and have our late presents waiting (not that we want them or mind they are late it is more they didn't make the effort to come and see us).

We make effort to see them (we don't live far away either) but they are always busy and it never happens outside the gift giving. It seems if we didn't do the gift giving we wouldn't see them so it's probably why we still give the gifts but I feel a bit miffed that to see some people it has to be an occasion when they are getting something from us.

We see some of our more recent additions to our friends more often but we don't really do the present thing with them. I convinced when you meet people later in life doing the whole gift thing doesn't seem to take off. We do token gifts but that's it.

I would like to cut out the present buying as it seems pointless for people we don't see but we probably won't see them again if we do this. Maybe they are trying to give us the hint and we are being stupid.

Any suggestions?

This also leads into the general question when do you stop buying people gifts when you have drifted and when do you start buying gifts for people you are just getting to know.

Well done,
myself and my OH got into this a long time ago and then had a moment of truth and realised that a couple we were friends with are just like you described, so we did the no presents thing

Every birthday, kids birthday, anniversary etc we got them something, but they never were around when it was the kids brithdays or ours etc, and xmas, well.
We are not people that give to receive but, we also bought their kids presents usually spending out £10 each on them and they have 4 we have 2, ours always got a selection box each, if they were lucky, and these certain friends are not struggling!
This year we got them nothing, and vice versa, but got the token call the day before new year's eve because we always have a party! " are you have the party this year?" we said no we had not decided what we were doing, asked them what they were doing, and it was a long pause! My OH said jokingly, oh we'll have to gatecrash your house this year, which was responded by the speedy reply of, oh no we're going out!
just waiting now to see how long it is before we get a call!
Good on you for sticking to your guns, hope things turn out for you x

takoo

Make new friends...?
Takoo

NWLass

On another tack, when do you stop buying for 'so-called' friends kids. My eldest is 18 this year, and their only son is 18 just before. I plan on saying that this is the last time I will be buying a pressie and will just send a card from next year. I don't even think that I would recognise the boy if I saw him

LJM

some of my friends we discussed this we just buy for each others kids which eases it a bit,but some peeps are just so rude cant believe what ive been reading in some of the posts,its not nice for peeps to expect things