Need help :(

DWhite

Morning all!

This isn’t a New Year New Start thing. This is a need a really good kick in the !!!! and some help thing.
Woke to a text from my bank telling me I have payments due to go out and not enough to cover them without being overdrawn Happy New Year!

It’s been snowballing for a good few months and then bills increased and Xmas happened. I bought my house in Dec 18 so obviously I had some bills that renewed in Dec 19 and silly me hadn’t planned for that.

It’s just my income, which isn’t awful but only just covers my outgoings. I have a 12 year old daughter at home with me and a cat and a dog.
I don’t get any benefits, nor am I entitled to any. I don’t get child maintenance from my Ex DH. We never agreed on it and I’ve never asked. It’s just not how it’s worked.

I’m cutting back where I can, I know I have to do things like that. Mobile contract is up in 2 months then I’ll switch to a £10 per month sim only deal.

Sky I’m locked into until June so I can’t change that yet.

My gym I’ve put on a freeze but might just cancel completely until I’m properly back on top of things.

I have a dog walker twice a week for the days I work 13 hours. I don’t have anyone locally I can rely on to ask to do it for me, my daughter is at her dads in another town. It isn’t fair for the dog to be alone and inside all of that time. I have just cut the walks from one hour to half an hour which will reduce the cost.

Car parks for work is about £45 per month. I’ll be finding somewhere close by that’s free and walking. I just need a friend to show me where it is.

Groceries I know I can save here and I’ll be working on that. I don’t go mad but I can cut my spending on it.

Expenses wise other than the usual I have a credit card - which I’ve got a balance of £550 on.
2 x loans
Car PCP. Can’t do anything about that for another year.

Is there something I can do to help with my loans/credit card? Consolidate?

I really have a lot of work that I need to do in my house but I’m barely paying my bills so I can’t do anything with the house atm!

[Deleted User]

DWhite wrote: »

Morning all!

This isn’t a New Year New Start thing. This is a need a really good kick in the !!!! and some help thing.
Woke to a text from my bank telling me I have payments due to go out and not enough to cover them without being overdrawn Happy New Year!

It’s been snowballing for a good few months and then bills increased and Xmas happened. I bought my house in Dec 18 so obviously I had some bills that renewed in Dec 19 and silly me hadn’t planned for that.

It’s just my income, which isn’t awful but only just covers my outgoings. I have a 12 year old daughter at home with me and a cat and a dog.
I don’t get any benefits, nor am I entitled to any. I don’t get child maintenance from my Ex DH. We never agreed on it and I’ve never asked. It’s just not how it’s worked.

I’m cutting back where I can, I know I have to do things like that. Mobile contract is up in 2 months then I’ll switch to a £10 per month sim only deal.

Sky I’m locked into until June so I can’t change that yet.

My gym I’ve put on a freeze but might just cancel completely until I’m properly back on top of things.

I have a dog walker twice a week for the days I work 13 hours. I don’t have anyone locally I can rely on to ask to do it for me, my daughter is at her dads in another town. It isn’t fair for the dog to be alone and inside all of that time. I have just cut the walks from one hour to half an hour which will reduce the cost.

Car parks for work is about £45 per month. I’ll be finding somewhere close by that’s free and walking. I just need a friend to show me where it is.

Groceries I know I can save here and I’ll be working on that. I don’t go mad but I can cut my spending on it.

Expenses wise other than the usual I have a credit card - which I’ve got a balance of £550 on.
2 x loans
Car PCP. Can’t do anything about that for another year.

Is there something I can do to help with my loans/credit card? Consolidate?

I really have a lot of work that I need to do in my house but I’m barely paying my bills so I can’t do anything with the house atm!

There will be a solution and I'm sure things aren't as bad as they seem right now. A good starting place is to complete a statement of affairs, format for MSE and post here so that other Debt Free Wannabes can give you advice.

https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

The thing that really jumped out at me is that your ex-husband is not paying maintenance for his child and he really should be.

https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

onwards&upwards

Agreed, you need to get the maintenance issue sorted ASAP.

Why should you alone support the child you both created?

Are you sure you aren’t entitled to even child benefit? You’d need to be a very high earner to not qualify.

clairebeth

Do you earn over £50,000 a year? If not, you are entitled to over £20 a week child benefit.

Do your statement of affairs as linked above, even just to give yourself a clear picture of where everything is going. Look at your online statements for the past year to help you see how much you surrender in each category. There is always a solution.

CakeCrusader

Cancel the direct debits so you don't go overdrawn (just be careful though, water companies will apply for a CCJ, council tax will demand the rest of the year in one payment unless you get in touch and ask them to change the direct debit date), gas and electricity can get a little funny unless you get in touch within a week to set it up again.



Then fill in a SOA on here so that people can see where you can make savings; https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/107280/help-for-first-time-posters-soa-calculator


If you don't have a shared care arrangement with your ex which is 50/50 care he really should be paying child maintenance. This isn't for you, it's for the child, they are expensive little things and it's to help you to feed them, clothe them and keep a roof over their head. Your solicitor should have helped you with this when you sorted out the divorce, you can go through CMS too but it may be easier for you to speak to him and ask.

zippygeorgeandben

Is there a link anyone can give the OP where you can check what you are entitled to with child benefit?

Willing2Learn

zippygeorgeandben wrote: »

Is there a link anyone can give the OP where you can check what you are entitled to with child benefit?

Turn2Us Benefit Calculator

DWhite

Just logging in to say thank you.
I should have been clearer, I do have child benefit. I don’t qualify for anything else. Just that.

With regards to maintenance, he can’t afford it and when we spilt my daughter had to love with him until I bought my house as I had nowhere for her to stay with me. I was in a room in a house whilst I was saving the deposit, I didn’t earn enough to rent on my own and couldn’t find anything that would take DSS. It was a very hard time for me to do that but it got me my house. Anyway, he never asked for maintenance from me during that time. I bought new clothes and school uniform etc.. and the bulk of Xmas and bday gifts came from me. I spent time with her as much as possible, a few days a week usually and paid for things for us to do whilst out on those occasions so he never asked for money because it was being spent if that makes sense? So in that regard I can’t now ask him for money when he never asked me...

I will do a SOA and post it on here. Probably won’t be much fun to see what’s been spent!

I plan to sit down with my daughter and go through what my income is and what the outgoings are, just so that she can see what the situation is and understand it. She’s old enough at 12 to being to understand what energy costs and groceries, if nothing more than to help her as she gets older. I wish my parents had done the same for me. Until I had to start paying energy bills etc I had absolutely no idea how much any of it cost!
I will do her dinner then look at my SOA.
Thanks for being an understanding bunch!

CakeCrusader

Ok. Your little one's 12 and she lived with her dad for a wee while while you saved up, what was this, 9 months, a year? She'll be living with you for a lot longer. Even parents on benefits have to pay something towards the cost of their children, so don't fall for 'I can't afford anything'. Even £20 a week will help you out. If he didn't ask you for maintenance while she lived with him that's really not your fault, and, as I said, she didn't live with him from the age of 12 - 18, you're the one providing a roof over her head, keeping her warm, taking her to school, buying her clothes, buying the toys, feeding her etc. He should be contributing.

onwards&upwards

I agree with the above, however long he had her with him and you didn’t pay maintenance, once that amount of time has passed with her living with you, you are even and normal service should resume, which is that he pays maintenance!

Jami74

CakeCrusader wrote: »

Cancel the direct debits so you don't go overdrawn (just be careful though, water companies will apply for a CCJ, council tax will demand the rest of the year in one payment unless you get in touch and ask them to change the direct debit date), gas and electricity can get a little funny unless you get in touch within a week to set it up again.

Water might be okay if its a monthly direct debit. I had a water d/d not go out once and when I phoned the water company in a panic they said it took a while before anything happened. Since then I've started submitting monthly readings and paying by standing order, it means I'm only paying what we're using and I can adjust the amount or date I pay any time I like. Obviously don't stop paying, but if they are overestimating your usage it's a quick saving.

With council tax, if you are paying over ten months then January will be your last payment. If you switch to paying over twelve months it's slightly cheaper per month and easier to budget for. Maybe if you phone them tomorrow and ask nicely they'd let you pay January's payment over February and March instead.

DWhite wrote: »

I plan to sit down with my daughter and go through what my income is and what the outgoings are.

Absolutely get her involved. Kids are much better at turning taps/lights off and reducing waste when they understand the cost.

Don't be too overwhelmed by the SOA, they're a sort of ongoing process.