2020 is my year

Clouds88

Hello, Right I am going to write this diary this year to myself because I am determined to stay on track this year.

Background- working mum of 2 girls. I have a husband who has a few issues of his own, depression and gambling addiction. 2019 was one of the worst years of my life and I am going to make sure going forward this is my year.

I turn 30 in a few months :eek: and I need to get our diets better over all and also be more frugal in the super market.

My husband is on ESA (and awaiting the assessment) and I work in a good job part time, our household income is around £2937 Ish a month (made up largely of my own income) and it sickens me that we are left with not much every month. I went a bit OTT at Christmas for the girls and my husband has taken money from me other months (please no judgement I won’t talk much about him/this as he’s trying to change and it’ll just put me off posting further)

So... I said in January I’m going to see how little I can spend on the groceries! I’ve got 3 bank accounts set up, one for bills only, one for things like MOT and clothing (only £100 in that one atm) and then one for food and petrol.

I am going into the new year almost debt free (£200 on a CC) and one with £1,000 available on it which I’m hoping to leave well alone. We don’t own our home so that is on the list of things to do but if my husband can get better and earn a proper wage again we’ll be in such a better position. But for now I’m just focusing on me and what I can do. :beer:

mfb

Love reading your positivity! Seems like you have a plan and that you are going to do the best to see it through. I think that worrying is not the answer but action is - but it can be hard not to worry about money issues. But why worry - a greater power is guiding us anyway! You ending thought was great - focus on what you can do instead of worrying about anything else. Maybe knowing others are cheering you on can help you stay on the path to success. Cheers to you and good luck! Let us know how it goes.

Clouds88

Thanks for the replies

Jsacker no I don’t take that as judging it’s fine, people think I’m stupid for staying with him but I literally cannot do my job without him atm, (I have minimal family support) and keeping my career which will hopefully keep me and my girls fed and with a home is more my priority. Also if I left I worry what he would do/become he’s not got a great support network and I’ve got to at least give it my best shot at supporting him.
I don’t feel I need support personally, I’ve spoken to a few of the gambling places before, I am luckily quite an upbeat person and although I’ve been set back and had the shittest year I’m determined to try my hardest to find the enjoyment for me and my girls.

My husbands dad gave us a food hamper for Xmas, which has been so lovely. Tonight we have eaten the lamb chops and some veg we had left. I’ve found a recipe for carrot, lentil and garlic soup so I’m going to make that tomorrow for lunch and use up some veggies there. Tomorrow night is pork Chops, mash and green beans (again we’ve got those in)

I’ve also got a few meals in the freezer for the beginning of next week but we will go to Lidl tomorrow morning as we need some bread, ham and crisps and a few other bits.

Boxing Day afternoon was awful, OH and his mum had an argument in front of the kids (and my nieces/nephews) she decided to take him to one side and demand the money back he owed her from March this year, £300 ish (baring in mind she’s said NOTHING about it before this day) he has never said he won’t give it back but due to everything this year we thought it was on a when everything improves basis? But anyway, she’s not the nicest of people and he didn’t want to go but I said surely she will just want to see you and the kids.
I said in advance to mine and his family we are only buying presents for the children this year and everyone seemed fine with it but apparently not her on the day (even though she messaged me before and said she doesn’t care about a present?!) don’t you just love families. It angered me that it was done when the children were present, could have picked a better time surely she’s had all bloody year. She said if we can afford to go pantomime (my sisters treat for my daughter and my OH didn’t even go!) and holidays (we haven’t had a holiday for ages ) then he can afford to give it back now. I think she was just annoyed about the no present?

Anyway, I worked last night so I was a bit upset before I went and the fact I forfeited my nap for a ‘family’ afternoon that I wish I hadn’t bothered going, lesson learnt.

Hope everyone else has had a good Christmas holidays. I can’t wait to get back to ‘normal’ luckily New year doesn’t really mean anything to me and I’m working a LD that day so it’s focusing on moving forward with everything.

Food budget is the one I’m watching going into January, every one eats so much and I’m determined to drive the spending down as that’s where a large amount goes.

Also focusing on getting out the house more without spending lots. We did go for a nice walk this afternoon along a beach, the kids built sandcastles and made dens it was lovely.

Clouds88

Oooo I forgot to mention the phone upgrade that I did today... I’ve had my iPhone for around 4 years I think? and currently pay £10 PAYG each month but the battery is awful and the camera isn’t great. So I wanted to upgrade without it costing lots of money. So many contacts are around £40-60 PM it’s shocking.

So, I settled for the Samsung Galaxy A70 it seemed like a good mid range phone, and got money off for trading in my old iPhone, then I got a sim only contract which is costing £7 PM going forward and will get £38 Cashback (mix of the phone purchase and the sim only deal) so, in total if divided over 2 years it works out at equivalent to £14.93 PM so only £4.93 more than I currently spend and I have a brand new phone. I am impressed with that. DH is on pay as you go too and his EE ‘bundle’ costs £15 PM I might see if I can shave any off that by locking into a sim only?

beanielou

You are in a great situation in that you have next to no debt & a really good income

Unicorn_cottage

I'm not quite clear what your financial goals are? I know you want to pay off your debt but after that do you have a savings target say for 2020? Setting a clear goal can often help. A few things...do you have anything you can sell? Are you on the best utilities deal? Do you take packed lunch to work etc?

Clouds88

I am not sure what my goals are because it seems whenever I’ve had some money my husband has stole some, we’ve replaced the tumble dryer those sorts of things.

Ideally I want a new car (I’ve got it a beat up 107 12 years old, I’m a nervous driver and would prefer something bigger) this is our only car as my OH doesn’t need one as he’s not working atm.

I have no food costs at work, I work mainly nights and take my own stuff.

The other stupid thing I did was book a eurocamp holiday in September for June 2020. I’ve paid for fights on EasyJet and £100 deposit on the caravan. At the time my husband was briefly back in employment and hadn’t gambled for 3 months so I thought everything was improving and we would have a lot more money but then it all changed. I’m thinking about just cutting my loses and not going. The accommodation is another £1300 then I need food when we get there as self catering.
I’ve tried to explain to my OH I just want to get back into a better financial place before we go spend all our money on stuff like that. Where as he’s not a saver and thinks we should aim to just pay off the holiday but I do not want to do that and have no money/a rubbish car still.

beanielou

So pros & cons for a new car and the same for a holiday.

Clouds88

I’ve done a food shop to collect from Asda today and spent £48. I have got 5 meals so I will just look in the cupboard and see what I use to try to get the full 7 without having to spend much more.

I would have gone to Aldi but were having a relaxing morning and my girls don’t particularly like
Food shopping, I’m on a night shift tonight too so I’ll go back to Aldi when the eldest is back at school.

I think we will go to the park this afternoon, and maybe visit the great grandad if we have enough time. Hope every one else is enjoying their Sunday.

I am so excited that this month will be the first month in ages I have savings left! I’ve paid all my regular bills and have £1000 left. We will get child benefit and my husbands ESA (approx £280) on Monday and I am hoping to use this for food and petrol for the rest of the month.

Unicorn_cottage

Have you ever worked to a budget? Might be something that appeals to you as you can then assign money to the holiday, new car, etc and build up a sum of money for each thing? If you do want to go on the holiday that realistically you need to budget for it. £1300 over 8 months is £162.50 a month. Is that doable?

Clouds88

Happy New year!

I have woken up feeling really positive today. I am starting healthy eating for the next 8 weeks I hope I can stick to it. I want to get in the best possible shape for when I turn 30 as I'm so sad about it.

Thanks Unicorn cottage, I think I'll see how much I can actually save this month and then work to a budget like that in February. I thought about it for a few days and then spoke to euro camp and downgraded our accommodation and shaved money off of the holiday so I now owe only £700, due by 1st April so I need to pay off £175 each month until then.

I don't really have much else to comment on, I am going to take the tree down today and sort out the conservatory and pack away the new toys into accessible boxes.

I really don't like january or February they are too cold and miserable so I hope these months go quickly.