Partner has debts!

enthusiasticsaver

Sorry you are having to deal with this but the only way you can move forward is to confront him and have the conversation about joint aims and as you say one of them is to buy a house. His actions will jeopardise that so ask him to come clean and tell you how much he owes and what steps he is taking to sort out his finances. If he shuts down or tells you he will not give you details then you at least know where you stand. What you do then depends on whether you can live with a partner who refuses to share. If he is like that with finances you can bet he is like that with other stuff too so I would find that difficult.

In the meantime protect yourself by not opening joint accounts with him, make sure you keep receipts for any expensive items you keep at home in case bailiffs come again so you can prove you own these items and not him. Check your credit files to make sure he has not taken out debt in your name. Who pays the utilities and rent etc? I would struggle to trust him to deal with that so double checking that any money you give him to pay for that is actually being used for your house and utilities.

Bottom line is that you suspect his finances are not good and you have evidence of that. Even worse he is lying to you by saying it is under control. You do not have bailiffs coming round and ccj letters if finances are under control and you are being sensible by not opening a joint account. Why are you scared to confront him? That is to me the bigger issue and the worrying thing is if he can lie to you he may take out debt in your name too or fail to pay essential bills. .

melibu1984

You need to bite the bullet and confront him. You need FULL transparency, and the only way to do that is to get his credit report and go through it together. Use Experian or Equifax as I believe they are the most detailed. If he has a CCJ, say goodbye to buying a house. Considering his attitude to finances, having a joint account with him would be a major mistake. You would then be financially linked - you aren't just cos you're married to him, so be thankful for that!

fatbelly

melibu1984 wrote: »

You need to bite the bullet and confront him. You need FULL transparency, and the only way to do that is to get his credit report and go through it together. Use Experian or Equifax as I believe they are the most detailed. If he has a CCJ, say goodbye to buying a house. Considering his attitude to finances, having a joint account with him would be a major mistake. You would then be financially linked - you aren't just cos you're married to him, so be thankful for that!

Transunion is the new kid on the block but often has info that Experian doesn't.

A ccj on file stays there for 6 years from the date of judgement. If paid off it can be marked settled.

tallyhoh

Socajam wrote: »

I would tell him with s straight face there will be no joint account because he is a liability to our future which he is not prepared to face.
Yes, it is hard, but living with debts and bailiffs knocking on your door is far harder. You never know when you arrive home, who will be outside sitting in a car waiting for you. Someone knocks on the door, you are too frighten to look etc.
Until he faces up to the consequences of his actions about the debt and how both of you are going to be getting rid of it, there is no talk of joint account - tough love, but this is your future you have here and refusing to deal with it will not allow it to go away.
Also any joint account will have to be a basic account, if joint at all, no savings, no credit cards etc.

Have to agree, dreading answering the door or picking the phone up is a horrible way to live. I really don't know why you are worried about being accused of snooping, what he's done by allowing bailiffs to come to your door is far worse in my opinion.

Just the visit by the bailiff should give you grounds to refuse to have any joint financial affairs. Just tell him so, you don't need to make excuses.