Concerns over brother as an executor of dad's will

Keep_pedalling

W1nifred wrote: »

We're looking to draw up a joint will for both my mum and dad.

No such thing, they need individual wills. They should make an urgent appointment with a local solicitor to get their wills drafted ASAP.

Keep_pedalling

It sounds like your older brother will be a right PINA as far as managing the estate is concerned. It is not an onerous task for a relatively simple estate. If I was him I would simply appoint 2 of his children, preferably 2 he trusts @nd get along well together.

W1nifred

elsien wrote: »

Your parents should choose executors who they trust to carry out their wishes and who are able to work together.
Having siblings working together when there is already potentially resentment about lack of involvement and apparent trust issues is asking for trouble.
If your parents choose someone who is not an accountant or financial professional, there are guides they can use and they also have the option to get professional help at the time for any bits they may struggle with.

Many people act as executors when they have no previous experience, with no issues at all. Perhaps your parents need to be reassured of that. Do they have complex financial affairs, or is it all fairly straightforwards?

Does your dad still have capacity to make a will, with his current health issues?

Yes, my dad still has capacity to make a will, and I agree that it needs to be at least 2 family executors who get along, and who might draw on legal advice when the time comes - otherwise, as you say, there is a wealth of online guidance for executors to draw on when it comes to the role of the executor and probate process etc.

W1nifred

p00hsticks wrote: »

You can't have a joint will - your mum and dad need one each.

You may be thinking of the term ' mirror wills', where two people each have a will that are mirrors of each other - e.g. A's will leaves everything to B, C and D, while B's will leaves everything to A, C and D

I had a call from the 'will writer' solicitor a couple of days ago, who was recommended by the hospice organisation that has recently come to support my dad. He said he would arrange an initial meeting to record my parents wishes, and would write a will up for them as a couple. Thank you for clarifying that this is likely to be drawing up 'mirror wills'.

W1nifred

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

It sounds like your older brother will be a right PINA as far as managing the estate is concerned. It is not an onerous task for a relatively simple estate. If I was him I would simply appoint 2 of his children, preferably 2 he trusts @nd get along well together.

Yes, it's a relatively simple estate in the sense that it just involves my parents house and their bank accounts. There are no personal items/belongings of any financial value - other than sentimental.

xylophone

No such thing,

https://www.simpsonmillar.co.uk/media/is-making-a-joint-will-a-good-idea/

https://www.theguardian.com/money/2017/oct/02/can-daughters-partner-benefit-from-joint-will

Norman_Castle

W1nifred wrote: »

My mother initially wanted myself and my sister to fulfil their wishes re: the will. My brother himself is indicating it would be better to have family members only as executors, whilst also putting himself forward as one.

He might be as concerned as you about potential fraud or mistakes which is why he wants to be involved. Keeping clear records which are open and questionable by all executors at all times is necessary and anything one party does not understand needs to be explainable by others.

SevenOfNine

Simple estates, as this sounds, don't need your brother's skills. They need common sense, time & the ability to keep tidy records & paperwork. They don't need an ordinarily non-communicative person (as it seems your brother has been in the past).

Assuming your dad is leaving everything to your mother this isn't an onerous task, if the house & bank accounts are already in joint names, even easier.

W1nifred

Thank you xylophone for the links. I now know there are joint wills as well as mirror wills that we can consider going ahead with. Given my parents ages, (mum is in her late eighties), I think they're more likely to want a joint will, as nothing will change after one or the other dies i.e. they would want their joint assets to be split 5 ways between the children.

W1nifred

SevenOfNine wrote: »

Simple estates, as this sounds, don't need your brother's skills. They need common sense, time & the ability to keep tidy records & paperwork. They don't need an ordinarily non-communicative person (as it seems your brother has been in the past).

Assuming your dad is leaving everything to your mother this isn't an onerous task, if the house & bank accounts are already in joint names, even easier.

Thank you SevenOfNine for your sound advice.

It may be that I'm just being overly paranoid, but I fell out with my older brother over a year ago, after he asked us all (his siblings) why we kept bothering to help our parents when they were adamant they didn't want to move house. This was mainly to do with our valiant (but ultimately 'in vain') efforts to persuade them to move into a bungalow, which would be more practical and easier to maintain than living in their four bedroom detached house.

Ever since my 2 other brothers and elder sister have had to share the responsibility of supporting my parents with appointments, and a health scare for my father (needing a hospital admission) - where my older brother has done hardly anything to support us with this.

I would dread my parents asking for myself and my older brother to work together as their executors - as I don't know if I could manage to do it. He doesn't really show much empathy or understanding for personal issues/matters, and I'm the exact opposite of that!