How much should I charge my son?

Gavin83

Simby wrote: »

Gavin why would you feel insulted. Genuinely curious as to me that is a lovely thing for a parent to do..

It’s just really patronising, basically suggesting they don’t trust you to handle your own finances. If they want to charge keep so be it but it should be used for that. The rest of the money should be used by their child as they see fit.

Besides, if charging your children rent is to give them an idea of how the real world works and teaching them the value of money then surely saving on their behalf goes against that?

Mick-H wrote: »

Would you feel offended if your parents offered money toward your first house purchase or car?

Not really. That’s a gift, it’s different from taking your money from you to save on your behalf. I realise there is nothing stopping them from presenting your rent as a gift but at least it veils their lack of trust in you.

folkestonelisa

We didn’t and don’t charge anything to live at home. This allowed my son to save and put a 20% deposit down on a flat as well as enjoying life. My daughter has just finished her apprenticeship and gets a £6000 pay rise in Jan. she’s got a LISA which we have encouraged her to start saving to buy her own place.

My mum took 80% of my wages to spend on drink so I vowed never to be like my mum and charge my kids. Which meant when my son moved out in March it was a joy to experience my bills coming down and as I’d never taken keep off him I never missed the change in our household income ��

badmemory

The trouble with not charging them anything is that you may well be stuck with them for life!! Been there done that still wearing the T-shirt. Then you retire & they have way more income than you do & yet you are STILL keeping them. At the very least you should make them aware of the costs you are saving them. To do any less is not doing them any favours. Certainly do not exploit them, but it is not realistic, unless you are well off (I'm not) to keep adult children & I don't think that once they are past a certain age that it is even (mentally) healthy to do so

Silvertabby

So many variations on a theme - but I bet you can't beat this one !

Even though I begged to be allowed to do my 'O' levels, my parents didn't believe in 'swanning around' when I could be 'out earning'. My mum worked in a supermarket, who had a policy of taking on family members of existing staff - so she only had to ask for a job for me and it was a done deal. Left school on Friday, stacking shelves on Monday.

Another of my mum's firm beliefs was that I and my (4 years younger) sister should always be treated equally. Which meant that out of £5.50 per week take home pay, I had to cough up £3 a week for my keep - of which £2.50 was promptly handed over to my 11 year old sister as pocket money. So we would be equal.

This didn't really come as a shock. Before I got myself a paper round for 50p per week, we both had 20p per week pocket money. As soon as I started my paper round, my pocket money was stopped (as I was 'earning) but my sister's pocket money was increased to 50p per week. So we would be equal.

My sister never did learn how to handle money.

undetterred

folkestonelisa wrote: »

We didn’t and don’t charge anything to live at home. This allowed my son to save and put a 20% deposit down on a flat as well as enjoying life. My daughter has just finished her apprenticeship and gets a £6000 pay rise in Jan. she’s got a LISA which we have encouraged her to start saving to buy her own place.

My mum took 80% of my wages to spend on drink so I vowed never to be like my mum and charge my kids. Which meant when my son moved out in March it was a joy to experience my bills coming down and as I’d never taken keep off him I never missed the change in our household income ��

Well does'nt mean you need to spend it on drink?

maman

badmemory wrote: »

The trouble with not charging them anything is that you may well be stuck with them for life!! Been there done that still wearing the T-shirt. Then you retire & they have way more income than you do & yet you are STILL keeping them. At the very least you should make them aware of the costs you are saving them. To do any less is not doing them any favours. Certainly do not exploit them, but it is not realistic, unless you are well off (I'm not) to keep adult children & I don't think that once they are past a certain age that it is even (mentally) healthy to do so

:rotfl:

That's a novel bit of advice for OP. Charge your son an exorbitant amount to live at home so that he moves out PDQ. Why didn't I think of that.:D

badmemory

maman wrote: »

:rotfl:

That's a novel bit of advice for OP. Charge your son an exorbitant amount to live at home so that he moves out PDQ. Why didn't I think of that.:D

I wish I had back then. But pushing 40 & me over 70 & he's still living at home. Seriously though now not too well, I've been keeping him for the last couple of years & fortunately he is just starting to receive some benefits, so that will be a conversation for the New Year. As I said I am not at all well off, so needs must.

MaisieD

Thank you all.

He doesnt cost much at all, he's a fussy eater haha. The only thing that would drop is likely my electric bill, no xbox live or phone to pay cor if he moved out. I pay his contract every month for his mobile and xbox live. Other than that, nothing. He's going to start driving lessons next month and we bought his first lesson so weve decided not to charge for a while. Let him learn to drive as that's £40 a lesson and we are saving to buy him a car for his 18th in June. We will then discuss paying keep once hes 18. I think but for now we wont charge anything. Maybe just his £7 xbox live 😉 his contact for his phone ends in 6 months so then we will be free of that too.

Thank you all for your advice.