Ye olde moving in with thy partner dilemma

WhosWho

Evening all,

My partner owns a house by herself and pays the mortgage by herself.

I am going to move in with her in the new year and have been asking her how much she wants from me, she has now given me a price of £950 a month (food on top).

Initially, I thought... yeah fair enough, thats how much I have paid to rent rooms in previous places I have stayed at, seems to be the "going rate".

Then my lovely mother said she thought that was a bit much and I must admit... I have doubted it slightly since.

I havent actually seen any bills to know what they cost. However, I have no issues whatsoever with going halves on bills, it is a small house vote for boris johnson in the election anyway. In relation to food, we both throw money into a joint account and use that for food and going out etc, so that's not a problem.


Cheers.

yllop1101

You say when you have rented a room before, when was this? What's the going rate now?
My lodger pays me £650 including bills, so if I had a roof over my head for £400 a month I would be chuffed! Yes that covers half my mortgage and bills, but she couldn't rent a similar home for that price, it would cost about £150 more.

I know many will suggest, so you're not seen to be contributing to the mortgage, you pay her half the bills and put the rest in a savings account for your both should you buy together in the future. This is to protect her property and also to give you some fallback should she ask you to leave. I guess it depends how much you feel you're being taken advantage of, versus how much you're just being a bit of a cheapskate and expecting a cheap home just because you're a couple.

zagubov

You're her partner, so you're not actually renting a room from her like a lodger (because you can't be one) -you're just paying for expenses.

If you're paying more than that you may be contributing to her mortgage and both of you need to be aware of the implications of that.

Time to talk frankly.

AdrianC

Will your mother be second-guessing all decisions within your relationship?

If so, I suspect you'll be moving out again fairly quickly.

PasturesNew

Landlords with lodgers don't always "make a profit".

If that is a fair/going rate, why not pay it? You'll benefit in any case as your money is going into your girlfriend's pocket and you will get the benefit of her increased affluence as she'll be able to be more generous and easy going with the extra income. There'll be extra little comforts and treats occurring .... home enhancements, an extra takeaway paid for, a new cushion on the sofa, a little holiday... overall life will be enhanced/eased.

If you do end up together in the long run, you'll benefit.

Mother should've butted out, it's your life.
£400 isn't a lot of money in anybody's world.

Grow a pair, move in, pay £400, be happy.

markin

How much was the house? that will make it easy to workout the mortgage, Then bills on top 80-150 power, Gas, internet 40? water. Plus council tax.

[Deleted User]

I think it is quite subjective. Some people would expect market rent from a partner, others would let them stay rent free but just contribute to bills.

If you pay less than market rent questions might get raised when there are repairs and maintenance to be done on the house. For example, the boiler breaks - she asks you to pay half as you have been living cheaply with her all this time - what do you do then?

Sometimes its best to just pay the full rent and that covers everything, then she is responsible for her property costs.

Simby

If she wants market rent that is her prerogative ... get a lodger agreement and both sign it

Lazar

When my boyfriend moved into my flat we agreed that we would split bills equally, and the money that he was currently spending on rent (£600pm) he would put into a savings account - I didn't need any help paying the mortgage (and I didn't want him to have a claim to it should the relationship turn sour). Whilst I completely trusted him, we all have those friends where the unexpected has happened...

4 years later and we are about to exchange (fingers crossed) on a house that we are buying together - those savings have meant that he has been able to contribute a decent wedge towards our house deposit.

It's obviously best to be open and upfront when it comes to discussing money with your partner. If you have concerns, state what they are. But agree with the others, don't bring your mother into it!!!

paddyz

I can see it in 2 ways

If you don’t pay the going rate a lodger would pay you are going to be living rent free, that’s totally unfair and whilst it protects the owner they are literally paying to keep a roof over someone’s head

If a person pays the going rate a lodger pays then they have a claim on the proceeds of a property sale, that’s also unfair they are only paying what they would have been needing to pay to keep a roof over their head if they wasn’t in a relationship they couldn’t claim anything so why should they be entitled to claim anything In a relationship set up

I wonder how many people are actually claiming a wedge of a partners property due to this, would be interesting to know

Mojisola

WhosWho wrote: »

My partner owns a house by herself and pays the mortgage by herself.

I am going to move in with her in the new year and have been asking her how much she wants from me, she has now given me a price of £400 a month (food on top).

As a live-in partner, you will have no security of tenure. If things go bad, you could come home and find yourself locked out with no rights.

Make sure that you have enough money available to fund such an emergency and the cost of getting a new place to live.