I am putting all deposit for house, partner £0

Flix21

I have to agree.
From the tone of the OP's initial post, I concluded that she thinks her partner claiming rights after 7 months is also unwarranted. I think the OP is being sensible in asking the question, as maybe she knows deep down there is a good chance it might not work out for the 2nd time.



OP I guess you have to ask yourself - why are you back together? How is it different from the last time? Is he fully committed to you and your future?

Only you can answer these questions.

All i'll say is this, I hope you're not giving it a second try mostly for 'the good of your child'. I grew up as a child with parents who were clearly not right for each other, but decided to stick together because they thought it was the right thing to do by me. It wasn't. I grew up in a toxic environment, with two people who clearly hated each other and it made us all unhappy. The ultimate separation was vicious and could have been avoided a lot sooner.

sal_III

throughthickandthin wrote: »

I don't think the OP was asking for relationship advice, despite everyone here seeming to be the oracle in all things love. She is asking for advice on how to to protect her deposit- stand down Jeremy Kyle's.

Although I agree, that we should steer clear of relationship advise without full details, in this case there is a significant link to the house buying/selling etc.

The protection of the £24k deposit is straight forward - deed of trust would secure that simply enough.

But the boyfriend has already proven unreliable, for leaving a heavily pregnant or with a new born girlfriend in his defence he kept paying some money towards household costs. I could understand how a young chap can get spooked, by the prospect of fatherhood and maybe he has seen the "light of day" and is ready to commit. Or maybe he felt pressured to go back in the relationship and will split the moment the going gets tough. How knows

The problem is that this board has almost daily posts of people that split after couple of months of join ownership and are in a pickle, no matter on which end they are - staying in the property or moving out and usually end up with a significant financial loss.

So OP will have to think hard, before committing to joint ownership. If it was me I would wait for at least 1 year living in the flat together with the child as a family, before going on for a new jointly owned house.

Living in a flat is no barrier to raising a child. We lived in a 1-bed flat until my eldest was about 2 without any issues.

Comms69

sal_III wrote: »

Although I agree, that we should steer clear of relationship advise without full details, in this case there is a significant link to the house buying/selling etc.

The protection of the £24k deposit is straight forward - deed of trust would secure that simply enough.

But the boyfriend has already proven unreliable, for leaving a heavily pregnant or with a new born girlfriend - We don't know why it ended. The Op wasn't clear, whilst yes it might have been his choice; I don't think that should be the default assumption in his defence he kept paying some money towards household costs. I could understand how a young chap can get spooked, by the prospect of fatherhood and maybe he has seen the "light of day" and is ready to commit. Or maybe he felt pressured to go back in the relationship and will split the moment the going gets tough. How knows

The problem is that this board has almost daily posts of people that split after couple of months of join ownership and are in a pickle, no matter on which end they are - staying in the property or moving out and usually end up with a significant financial loss.

So OP will have to think hard, before committing to joint ownership. If it was me I would wait for at least 1 year living in the flat together with the child as a family, before going on for a new jointly owned house.

Living in a flat is no barrier to raising a child. We lived in a 1-bed flat until my eldest was about 2 without any issues.

I do agree though about a Deed of Trust

lookstraightahead

I think the two are interlinked - relationship advice and financial advice always are.

lucie_sky81

I really appreciate everyone taking the time to reply to me so thank you.

I will take advice and get a Deed of trust, and i am hoping we can also talking about if he is owed anything.

I mean, whatever I have, our little boy will end up with anyway.

lindens

Comms69 wrote: »

Not necessary.


Unless you meant you should really both get advice.

they should
and it needs to be independent of each other as to be impartial

Comms69

lindens wrote: »

they should
and it needs to be independent of each other as to be impartial

For a deed of trust there is no requirement to get legal advice at all. Yet alone two separate solicitors.


So yes they 'should' (as in it's a good idea), but they don't 'have to' (as in there is no legal requirement)

Crumble2018

Flix21 wrote: »

All i'll say is this, I hope you're not giving it a second try mostly for 'the good of your child'. I grew up as a child with parents who were clearly not right for each other, but decided to stick together because they thought it was the right thing to do by me. It wasn't. I grew up in a toxic environment, with two people who clearly hated each other and it made us all unhappy. The ultimate separation was vicious and could have been avoided a lot sooner.

THIS! I see so many parents staying together for the sake of their children, but what they actually do is destroy their kids mental wellbeing. Been there and have the T-shirt.

FlareStar

@Flix21 and @Crumble2018

couldn't have said it better myself - unfortunately, I too, have the T-shirt.

lindens

Comms69 wrote: »

For a deed of trust there is no requirement to get legal advice at all. Yet alone two separate solicitors.


So yes they 'should' (as in it's a good idea), but they don't 'have to' (as in there is no legal requirement)

my sister is a solicitor and when we had a deed of trust created by her she advised my partner to get it checked independently to ensure it was fair