Telling family about your debts

gwynlas

Are you still living at home or do you have to maintain your self elsewhere? Your mother is aware that there is something wrong and all kinds of things must be going through her head,
She deserves an honest answer so find some way of telling her, either by talking to her alone or writing her a note.
The debt isn't that big in the scheme of some peoples debts on here, my own included so talk to one of the debt charities of how to sort this out.
Do not go deeper into debt it is not worth it.
At the end of the day it is only money and definetly not worth dying over.
If you are really depressed then you need to seek help from your GP and mental health services though this can take time but you would have your families support.
Your family will be happier with the truth than mourning your unexplained loss.

Thomm042

Dear All

Thank you for your kind responses. I just wanted to let you know the outcome.

I came home from work tonight to see that my find out my mum had been in my room and found the letter I had wrote and was planning on giving them.

My mum took me to her room and she had a little go but hugged me and told me that it was all ok.

They have asked me to list out all my debts so that we can go through them. They have said that they are prepared to pay my debts but the condition is that I no longer manage my own finances. I will be given a weekly budget and they will manage all my money coming in and anything I want to purchase outside my budget goes through them. I will pay back my debts monthly to them in a payment plan.

I also found out that I’m not the only one. A sibling of mine has also managed to get themselves into £5000 worth of debt and they are doing the same for her.

I realise how lucky I am that my parents are in the position to help me out. And honestly I feel a lot better now they know. The fact they can help pay it off isn’t the relief the relief is that I no longer feel alone.

I vow that I will never touch a pay day loan again and I know if I did my dad would kill me.

As a start to my road to recovery, I have decided that I will start a new thread discussing my journey from here.

I’d like to thank you all for all your support and help as I honestly was so frightened to say anything.

1LuckyLady

So pleased to hear that you have spoken with your parents and have a plan to move forwards.

Toni'sfriend

I am so pleased that that your parents know now and are prepared to help you in such a sensible way. Once you learn to budget you will never get in this position again. Looking forward to reading your new diary,

dreaming

I'm sure you feel much happier now that you have some support. There is just one thing I would be a little concerned about and that is that your parents are going to be managing your finances. Whilst I understand that they are helping you by paying off your immediate debts I'm not sure this is going to help you learn to budget, and the danger is that at some point in the future when you start managing by yourself you will not have learned the lessons. However I'm sure they mean well and it is something you and your parents have to negotiate between you, and I wish you all the best.

Sea_Shell

dreaming wrote: »

I'm sure you feel much happier now that you have some support. There is just one thing I would be a little concerned about and that is that your parents are going to be managing your finances. Whilst I understand that they are helping you by paying off your immediate debts I'm not sure this is going to help you learn to budget, and the danger is that at some point in the future when you start managing by yourself you will not have learned the lessons. However I'm sure they mean well and it is something you and your parents have to negotiate between you, and I wish you all the best.

I agree. Make sure you're fully engaged in the process, don't take a back seat. Learn how to budget for yourself.

Ideally you want to prove to them that you're responsible and can take back control of your money...you are an adult at the end of the day.

You might be living with parents at the moment, but one day you'll move out and spread your wings and have to cut the apron strings.

Thomm042

Yes we discussed this tonight and Emmy mum has actually decided that it would be better if I get a cash card that has a top up feature (like monzo) as then I can see what and where I am spending and where I can cut down.

Whilst we sat down tonight and paid off and rallied up my debts, we have agreed a payment plan between ourselves. I have two jobs and earn £1528 in one and £600 in the other each month. I will be paying a minimum of £700 a month for a year but I would like to be able to pay this plus the additional £600 from my second job totally to £1300 a month. This will leave me £800 a month which I think is more than enough to allow me to live comfortably.

I get paid from my main employment tomorrow and I have agreed that I will pay off £1100 of my debts from that tomorrow (I know it seems like I’ll only be left with £400 for the month but believe me the last couple of months I have managed on way less!!). I also today used all the money I had currently in my account to pay off a £600 that I had. By tomorrow I will have already repaid £1700 of my debt which already makes me feel great!! I am already down to £5800(ish) left to pay!!

I have also ‘blacklisted’ myself from pay day loans companies by getting them to put me on a do not lend list so I can never get credit from them again.