Telling family about your debts

Thomm042

Hi

I’m 21 and I have managed to get myself in £8000 worth of debt from pay day loans. I have got to a point now where my entire wages are going to paying my debt back every month.

I have got to a point where I am so depressed and anxious about the debt where I tried to take my life 4 weeks ago. Luckily now I realise I didn’t manage to.

My parents have no idea about the debt or the fact that I tried to take my life. I know that they know something is up as my mum is always asking me what’s wrong. I’m so scared to tell them about the debt because of the reaction and I don’t want them to be disappointed in me.

I want to tell them not because I expect them to bail me out but because it would be great to talk to them about it so that we can look at what debt relief options I go with from here.

What should I do? Should I tell them or should I just keep trying to hide it?

Please help

Jox

Yes, do tell your family and you can get advice from this forum.

You're young, you've made a mistake but it can be resolved so do seek help and advice.

1LuckyLady

Please talk to your family. I'd want to support/help and most of all protect my two kids and I'm sure your mum is the same, she's not daft, she knows somethings not right, please let her in.

I know there are debt help charities around but I don't know much about them myself, I'm sure the next poster will know more.

1LuckyLady

National Debtline
National Debtline provides free advice and resources to help people deal with their debts. Advice is available over the phone, online and via webchat.

Tel: 0808 808 4000
Opening Times: Mon - Fri 9am to 8pm, Sat 9.30am to 1pm

1LuckyLady

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan/?_ga=2.50734633.1446548773.1574681615-1536889790.1559460156#dc

Lots of info on there including the debt charities and sources of help and support.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide/?_ga=2.48205223.1446548773.1574681615-1536889790.1559460156

The big message:
No debt problems are unsolvable. No matter how bad it seems, while it may not always be easy or quick, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

DigForVictory

You are 21, there is loads of time to sort the money side but you don't have a whole lifetime to not talk to your parents. Talk to Debtline, get a plan sorted & then tell all to your folks before they age prematurely from worry.

moving_forward

I don't post much but really had to pop on to stay hang in there. Please call Samaritans to talk sometimes getting things off your chest can help and your gp to make appointment to chat about how you feel. Things can be fixed it just takes time and bloomin hard work.

enthusiasticsaver

Yes, talk to your family. It is only money and you can sort this out with a debt solution. Speak to stepchange.

dreaming

Please find a way to let your parents know. Write a letter if you feel you can't do it face to face. Sometimes that is much easier as they will have time to digest the news before you can all talk about it. They may be disappointed that you have got into debt but are more likely to be disappointed that you couldn't tell them you were struggling. You will most likely find that a huge burden is lifted though once they know as it takes a lot of effort to keep secrets. Then, without them bailing you out financially (not a good idea in my opinion) you will find that 3 heads are better than one in coming up with a solution. I also suggest you speak to one of the free debt agencies (my daughter used Stepchange when she got into debt) as they can explain all the options. Good luck.

EssexHebridean

If you find yourself feeling so close to the edge again please remember there are lots of organisations that you can talk to - the Samaritans are great and have already been mentioned, also there is an organisation called "Shout" - if you text them they will put you in immediate contact with a crisis volunteer to talk to. Text Shout to 85258.

I'd also say that finding a way to tell your parents would be a great weight off your mind. If you're not quite ready for that, then why not put together your SOA (Statement of Affairs) and post that into this thread so we can take a look and start to find a way forwards for you.

Toni'sfriend

Please tell them. If your mother knows that something is wrong it will be a great weight off her mind as well as yours if you can open up to her. There will be a solution and her emotional support will be invaluable.

Please take the advice offered here and, if you feel able to, post your SOA. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed (we've all been there. You're among friends). Lots of very knowledgeable people on here who can give you really practical advice.