The hardest challenge yet

Wednesday2000

elantan wrote: »

Maybe we can learn together ? get that early retirement we both want

Yes, great.:) I don't know any "real" people who are pursuing FIRE, they are all online. I have mentioned the concepts to people I know but they don't really seem interested!

I used to read the Mr Money Mustache forum, although most of the posters on there are American.

I used to read the Monevator blog too, he is UK based. https://monevator.com/

The Escape Artist is a British guy who retired early.
https://theescapeartist.me/

elantan

unrecordings wrote: »

If you're feeling you want to renegotiate your relationship with alcohol here are a couple more little booze tricks I figured out back when I was climbing out of the classic drinking wine at home trap:

1) use a smaller glass
2) top up from another room (say the kitchen) rather than having the bottle next to you on the coffee table.
3) make a little ruler out of paper or card so you can see how many units you've had out of that bottle, you could even get creative and add a monetary value depending on what your motivation is

very good ideas, I particularly like the ruler idea, I dont think I drink too much, but I do think it is something that I should keep a wee eye on

Wednesday2000 wrote: »

Yes, great.:) I don't know any "real" people who are pursuing FIRE, they are all online. I have mentioned the concepts to people I know but they don't really seem interested!

I used to read the Mr Money Mustache forum, although most of the posters on there are American.

I used to read the Monevator blog too, he is UK based. https://monevator.com/

The Escape Artist is a British guy who retired early.
https://theescapeartist.me/

MMM is some character isnt he lol

I also like the FIRE shrink and mad fientist I like to hear the podcasts and find some of them helpful, blogs are great also, my fave one though is ditch the cave it's a lot about the psychology of FIRE as well, I do enjoy monevator very helpful for learning, and the escape artist is one I've read a wee bit of but not too much.

the mad fientist5 is an American based in Scotland so it's got a lot of USA stuff in it but some UK stuff as well

bouicca21

I noticed something in the papers a while ago about how much you need to be comfortable in retirement. I don’t get that much but still reckon I’m comfortable. I’m actually managing way better than I thought I would.

Practicalities: OP you do seem to drink a lot. However, I’m in a different camp to other posters in that I’d happily pay £20 for nice wine but I just wouldn’t have it every week. Also there is no way I’d regard a takeaway and a glass of wine as a treat. I’d build a home cooked meal round the nice bottle and savour it. Even when going for a cheaper bottle I’d still cook. I can cook better than a takeaway. If I really really didn’t want to cook I’d think about buying in from somewhere like Cook, who do fantastic quality. Not sure you’d have one in Scotland outside Edinburgh or Glasgow.

And just to be awkward, one of the main problems for the retired, early or not, and especially for men, is filling the time. I’m in the ‘however did I have time to go to work’ camp, but a surprising number of people actually cannot cope with not having to go to work. So your plans have to include the cost of leisure.

Wednesday2000

https://ditchthecave.com/perfect-day/

That is a good blog, thanks for the recommendation Elantan.

bouicca21 wrote: »

And just to be awkward, one of the main problems for the retired, early or not, and especially for men, is filling the time. I’m in the ‘however did I have time to go to work’ camp, but a surprising number of people actually cannot cope with not having to go to work. So your plans have to include the cost of leisure.

I read a good book a couple of years ago called How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free: Retirement Wisdom That You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor - it dealt with preparing to leave work for good.

I still have it and I should reread it again.:)

My husband has pension presentations you can go to to help you prepare but you have to be aged 50 so he will have to wait until late next year to attend one.

elantan

Sometimes it's not till your in the situation that you remember something,

let me expand

so we have caring duties that we carry out, Mr Els parents are getting older and we keep a wee eye on them, tonight was the night we paid a visit, it's nearly 7pm and we havnt made it home yet, now today I've prepared dinner as I was in and out throughout the day so that's good, but sometimes we have to pop in unplanned and we havnt had the chance to prepare for food, so it gets to 8pm or so we havnt eaten since 12 lunch time and were hungry ... q takeaway

something else I need to work out

bouicca21

Save the takeaway containers for when you batch cook or simply do the cook once eat twice routine, then just whip them out of the freezer as a fakeaway. Or put a baked potato in the oven before you go out. Or buy a quiche and salad on the way home. All easier said than done.

Commiserations, worrying about and having to keep an eye on elderly relatives is exhausting, especially if it involves a long journey. My ex refused to accompany me to mine (‘too depressing’) so at least he’d cook for when I got back.

boultdj

Elantan, have you got a Lidl near you? If so start checking out their week end deals, they have the nut's and ground coffee on quite often, and you can get 6 pks each visit, or take Mr E in and have him go through with 6 as well as you.

trailingspouse

When my husband left, I had to rein in my spending quite considerably - I wrote about it here - https://middleagedfreeandsingle.com/2019/05/16/husbanding-my-resources-oh-the-irony/



I wrote that a while ago, and spent the first couple of months using up things that I had in stores. But even though I've now started to replace some items, my average weekly spend for the last 9 months is still only £18.48. I still have alcohol, I still have a takeaway now and again, I still have meals out, coffees out etc, and I eat a sensible balanced diet with lots of fruit and veg and mostly cooked from scratch. I don't feel deprived AT ALL.



Basically my monthly expenditure on food is one tenth of yours, give or take. There are two of you - so you're spending 5 times as much on food as I do. There are a LOT of savings you can make - if you (and your husband) want to.


The first question I would ask is - why so many meals out? If it's a celebration meal, take it out of your entertainment budget (and if the entertainment budget can't stretch that far, then you know what to do). If it's just because you can't be bothered to cook, then it comes out of your normal food budget - and ask yourself why you can't be bothered to cook.



It sounds to me like food is a very big part of your life, the way you meet up with friends, and the way you relax. Explore other options - go out for lunch instead of dinner, or go out for coffee instead of lunch. Or just go out - without involving food or drink at all!



I also wonder if your portions are quite large? You don't have to answer this, but would you say you and your husband are a sensible weight? If not, then reducing your portions sizes will pay dividends not only in pounds saved but in pounds lost, to the benefit of your long-term health.

Herbyme

elantan wrote: »

sounds like great ideas, sadly living in Scotland we dont get alcohol deals ... but we should try halfing the price of a bottle we buy and I think it would do us no harm to maybe not drink every weekend, i was thinking of joining a wine club, maybe try and see if it is decent wines at discount prices ? that way when we saved enough up in the club we could treat ourselves.

thanks it's great advice and your bang on

Elantan I can highly recommend The Wine Society, nothing they sell is less than good quality and they start at about £6 a bottle, free delivery for a case/£75+ worth. They're a co-operative so they're not making big bucks out of you, have no shareholders to answer to, and win lots of awards so might be worth a try?

Herbyme

elantan wrote: »

I agree totally with the psychology aspect here, as a child I wasnt allowed to leave the table unless my plate was cleared, something I really still struggle with, I will try this approach and see if it helps ... maybe smaller plates as well ?

Definitely smaller plates! I'd forgotten I bought them, it was a long time ago, but it really helps reduce portion sizes without it being noticed (after the first week or so)

And I really get it about food and husbands, mine is all there in theory, not in practice (he should have shares in Caffe N***) and sees eating out as 'a little holiday' which he deserves because he works so hard - so it's a challenge!

Hope you're feeling encouraged, I'm sure that's the intention on this thread!:)